Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Bully Targets Not Who You Think

posted by Linda Mintle

bullyA high school sophomore takes two kitchen knives to his school and goes on a stabbing frenzy in the hallway of his high school wounding 22 people. According to his lawyer,  he was well liked and not a loner. The typical bullied pattern of a loner, social awkward teen may not fit this time.

Bullying is complicated because it doesn’t always fit a specific pattern. In fact, bullies also look to target a group you might not expect–the social climbers.  Climbing the social popularity ladder makes you a target for gossip, harassment and physical attacks for those who compete for status.  But once you reach the top of popularity, the risk goes down.

The consequences of being bullied–depression, anxiety, anger and withdrawal also seem to be worse in those who are the more popular victims.

These are the conclusions of researchers at the University of California-Davis. Moving up in popularity from the 50th percentile to the 95th percentile can be dangerous. Bullies like to have power over people and one way to get that power is to harass those trying to gain social status. Pick on the kid trying to rise in popularity. It’s rivalry at its worse.

The take away from this and other studies is that bullying impacts a wide range of kids, not just the loner, socially awkward kid. Thus, anti-bully programs must address the entire student body. Rather than targeting a group of disenfranchised kids, target all kids in schools and teach them that bullying is not acceptable under any circumstances. And more importantly, we need to get at why so many kids think violence is a solution to anything!



Previous Posts

Relatives Who Drink Too Much: How to Handle it
Question: We will be traveling to our relatives in another state for several family gatherings during Christmas. Two of my siblings are problem drinkers and I am not sure how to handle this with my family. We do not drink so my children are not used to seeing family members act up while under the in

posted 6:00:57am Dec. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Christmas Shopping With Toddlers: Dr. Linda's 10 Tips
A reader asks: As much as I love to shop on-line, I prefer to tackle the masses during Christmas and head to the malls and store. My question is, “How can I shop with two little ones (ages two and four) and remain sane?” I will have to take them with me but really want to give it a try.  

posted 6:00:45am Dec. 17, 2014 | read full post »

What's Eating You This Holiday Season? Keep a Log and Find Out!
Joanne looked at the chocolate-covered donut in her hand. As she took her first bite, she wondered, "Why am I eating this? I''m not really hungry, but the plate of goodies sitting by the office coffee pot just looks good. Besides, my boss is making me crazy! But is there more to the story? F

posted 6:00:24am Dec. 16, 2014 | read full post »

10 Ideas to Avoid Depression During the Holidays
It's the most wonderful time of the year....well, not for everyone. Holidays can be difficult if you struggle with your mood and family issues. However, there are proactive ways to keep your spirit bright. 1) Don't overspend. Avoid being caught up in all the deals, discounts and e-shopping. Fi

posted 6:00:31am Dec. 12, 2014 | read full post »

6 Tips to Avoid Child Meltdowns During the Holidays
Are you dreading that trip in the car to grandparents? Is the hype of the holidays overstimulating your children? Too  much sugar, too little sleep? Try these 6 tips:   1) Routines and rituals: Try to keep as many going as you can. Even when you travel, insist on a regular bedti

posted 6:00:20am Dec. 10, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.