Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Bully Targets Not Who You Think

posted by Linda Mintle

bullyA high school sophomore takes two kitchen knives to his school and goes on a stabbing frenzy in the hallway of his high school wounding 22 people. According to his lawyer,  he was well liked and not a loner. The typical bullied pattern of a loner, social awkward teen may not fit this time.

Bullying is complicated because it doesn’t always fit a specific pattern. In fact, bullies also look to target a group you might not expect–the social climbers.  Climbing the social popularity ladder makes you a target for gossip, harassment and physical attacks for those who compete for status.  But once you reach the top of popularity, the risk goes down.

The consequences of being bullied–depression, anxiety, anger and withdrawal also seem to be worse in those who are the more popular victims.

These are the conclusions of researchers at the University of California-Davis. Moving up in popularity from the 50th percentile to the 95th percentile can be dangerous. Bullies like to have power over people and one way to get that power is to harass those trying to gain social status. Pick on the kid trying to rise in popularity. It’s rivalry at its worse.

The take away from this and other studies is that bullying impacts a wide range of kids, not just the loner, socially awkward kid. Thus, anti-bully programs must address the entire student body. Rather than targeting a group of disenfranchised kids, target all kids in schools and teach them that bullying is not acceptable under any circumstances. And more importantly, we need to get at why so many kids think violence is a solution to anything!



Previous Posts

Does Porn Affect Your Relationship?
During an evening talk show  there were plenty of jokes about pornography. And as the host and celebrity guest settled down, it was evident, porn, in their opinions, is no big deal.  If fact, many of the tabloids and even a few respected marital therapists, will tell you that a little porn is fi

posted 6:00:38am Sep. 16, 2014 | read full post »

5 Ways to Live in Financial Harmony
Money can't buy you love but it sure can make love difficult. Especially if you are in a relationship and not managing your money well. When it comes to money, here are 5 tips to live in relationship harmony: 1) Decide how your credit cards will be used when you enter a relationship. One person

posted 6:00:28am Sep. 12, 2014 | read full post »

Understanding Depression: Let's Keep Talking
This week, Janet Parshall had me on her radio show, In The Market, to talk about a topic the church and society have  a great deal of trouble discussing--depression. The phone lines were constantly lit up. People wanted and needed to talk. Emails were sent asking for help. With  1 out of 10 peo

posted 6:00:22am Sep. 10, 2014 | read full post »

Should You Try Again After an Affair?
We all know how devastating an affair can be to a marriage. The question often asked is, "Should I try to work through the betrayal and give the person another chance?" It's a question most of us hope we never have to answer. If you are faced with this question, slow down and consider what i

posted 6:00:46am Sep. 08, 2014 | read full post »

5 Safeguards to Prevent Cheating On-line
It's easy to do. You are bored, mad at your partner and notice a Facebook Message from an old flame. Your curiosity is peaked. What harm could it do to answer and catch up? Next thing you know, you are sharing the details of your life, only you aren't talking about your marriage. The messages

posted 6:00:50am Sep. 05, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.