Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Sexless Marriage Can Get the Sparks Flying Again

posted by Linda Mintle

ID-100138515Sex therapist will tell you that lack of sex in a marriage could be a sign of marital crisis. While that may be true, it is normal for a couple’s sex life to slow down over time and even stop. Yet, having sex turns out to be one of the ingredients for a happy marriage. In fact, even when we think we are having more sex, we get happy!

So if you want those sparks to  fly again, pay attention.

A lacking sex life needs to be discussed. I know it is not easy to bring up the topic, but having a conversation about wanting more sex is the place to begin. Don’t blame or criticize. Tell your spouse you want more intimacy. Then problem solve a few ideas to make it happen, e.g, time of the day, where, things that would put you in the mood, etc.

Next, shake it up by doing new things in your relationship to get the brain stimulated. Novelty brings that zest back to a relationship. Think about dinner on a blanket in front of the fire, trying out a new restaurant, exploring a new part of town or nature, etc. Get out of the rut. Think expresso shot, not just coffee.

The good news is that most couples married 25 years or more report being satisfied in their sexual relationships. For those who aren’t (and that is a big enough group to be concerned about), be intentional about attending to your spouse in this area. Don’t ignore the issue. Do random acts of kindness, attend to each other emotional, and talk about what might be getting in the way of making time for each other. Then, take the time and get those sparks flying again!



Previous Posts

Relatives Who Drink Too Much: How to Handle it
Question: We will be traveling to our relatives in another state for several family gatherings during Christmas. Two of my siblings are problem drinkers and I am not sure how to handle this with my family. We do not drink so my children are not used to seeing family members act up while under the in

posted 6:00:57am Dec. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Christmas Shopping With Toddlers: Dr. Linda's 10 Tips
A reader asks: As much as I love to shop on-line, I prefer to tackle the masses during Christmas and head to the malls and store. My question is, “How can I shop with two little ones (ages two and four) and remain sane?” I will have to take them with me but really want to give it a try.  

posted 6:00:45am Dec. 17, 2014 | read full post »

What's Eating You This Holiday Season? Keep a Log and Find Out!
Joanne looked at the chocolate-covered donut in her hand. As she took her first bite, she wondered, "Why am I eating this? I''m not really hungry, but the plate of goodies sitting by the office coffee pot just looks good. Besides, my boss is making me crazy! But is there more to the story? F

posted 6:00:24am Dec. 16, 2014 | read full post »

10 Ideas to Avoid Depression During the Holidays
It's the most wonderful time of the year....well, not for everyone. Holidays can be difficult if you struggle with your mood and family issues. However, there are proactive ways to keep your spirit bright. 1) Don't overspend. Avoid being caught up in all the deals, discounts and e-shopping. Fi

posted 6:00:31am Dec. 12, 2014 | read full post »

6 Tips to Avoid Child Meltdowns During the Holidays
Are you dreading that trip in the car to grandparents? Is the hype of the holidays overstimulating your children? Too  much sugar, too little sleep? Try these 6 tips:   1) Routines and rituals: Try to keep as many going as you can. Even when you travel, insist on a regular bedti

posted 6:00:20am Dec. 10, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.