Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


How to Break Out of Feeling Lonely

posted by Linda Mintle

alone 2What happens if you tell yourself that nobody like me…When you have that negative thought that somehow you don’t matter?

Nothing good!

You experience loneliness, not to be confused with depression or aloneness. Being alone is not a bad thing. But when you think being alone means you don’t matter, it turns to loneliness which does cause you to feel sad and down.

Loneliness usually relates to being socially isolated or dissatisfied in the relationships you have. As a result of that feeling, you can isolate even more and continue those negative thoughts.

However, we can choose not to feel lonely by doing something to connect with others, like being around people, taking a class, going to church, etc. We can lift our mood by reading a funny book, watching a movie, or meditating on the goodness of God and praying.

It’s all in what you tell yourself. If you think nobody cares about you, you will feel bad. If you think, hey, I have time to do some things I really love, you feel better.

Like so many things in our lives, the way we think about something matters.

Dr. Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognition and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago, says some people are genetically more prone to loneliness than others. But when it comes to gender, men and women experience loneliness at similar rates. The difference is that woman want more face to face relationships and men like to be connected in a group.

Loneliness is often based on a worry that somehow we don’t matter. This worry can dissipate if we accept the love of God who tells us He will never leave us or forsake us. Our ever present God is a constant companion with whom we can daily communicate. So change that story that no one cares about you. God is Emmanuel, God with you.

And don’t give up on finding people with whom you can connect. Take a risk. Invite someone to coffee, attend a singles meeting at church, look for opportunities to volunteer in your community, get a pet, and join an Internet chat group related to a hobby or interest. Most of all, don’t allow yourself to belief the lie that nobody cares about you!

 



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