Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Are the Rules of Dating Confusing You?

text“Going to O’Reilly’s. Join me at 7″

When Sarah received this message, she wasn’t sure if Jason was asking her on a date or just wanted her to hang out with friends. The message came by text. She was hoping for more than a friendship with Jason, but not sure where he stands. Was this a gesture of dating? She wasn’t sure. 

Sarah isn’t the only one. A survey by USA TODAY among 2647 singles found that 69% of people between the ages of 18-59 who are single are equally confused.


Is a date a planned evening withe friends, an individual invitation or a direct ask out?

Usually, we think we need to show special interest in a person and ask him or her out. But technology makes the ask a bit unclear.

So what can you do if you are uncertain?

Text back and clarify? This may back fire. If it the invitation was only a friendship one, awkward!

Go and find out as the evening unfolds. Probably an OK strategy. Be ready for either option since you can’t always determine what a person is thinking or asking from a text!

Call, talk to the person and see if you can get more information. Sometimes, a live interaction can help you read tone and intent better.

It’s a new frontier but nothing beats the face to face contact!


  • trlkly

    A lot of people specifically recommend being vague about whether you are on a date or not, for pretty much the same reason that you recommend not asking for clarification. If the other person views you as just a friend, it may make things awkward.

    Because I know that, just because it turns out we are not romantically compatible doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you. Yet, the way everything is set up nowadays, it’s always either one or the other. You can’t tell someone you would like to be romantically involved, have them disagree, and then just hang out as friends. IT would be so much better if that didn’t make everything so awkward.

    Because, come on. Being someone I want to be friends with is a requirement for me to want to date you. Of course I would like to just be your friend if dating is off the table.

Previous Posts

Siblings: Help or Hurt Romantic Relationships?
I've heard my daughter say that having a brother has helped her understand men. She feels comfortable being around men her age, in part, due to being raised with a brother. We know from previous research that having opposite sex siblings ...

posted 7:00:20am Nov. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Thanksgiving: More Than a Meal, Parade and Football
When you think of Thanksgiving, what comes to mind? Watching the Macy's Day parade, eating a very large meal with all the trimmings and watching football with family and friends? Black Friday and the kickoff of the Christmas ...

posted 7:00:21am Nov. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Gratitude: How It Changes Us in Positive Ways
I've been keeping a gratitude journal for the past weeks. Each day, I write down 3 things for which I am thankful. Focusing on gratitude changes a person. If you want to know how, watch my blog to learn about the many benefits of ...

posted 7:00:39am Nov. 23, 2015 | read full post »

What's Your Relationship Deal Breaker?
My daughter was talking to us about relationships the other night. We asked about one young man she knew and her instant response was, "Too needy!" For her, that was a deal breaker. As I thought about this, we all have those deal breakers that ...

posted 7:00:06am Nov. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Exercise More, Lose Weight? Not Really!
Eat less, exercise more. That is the weight loss mantra, right? The role of exercise in weight loss is often misunderstood. The State of Texas knows this first hand. They spend 37 million dollars on grants to help children in poverty reduce ...

posted 7:00:29am Nov. 18, 2015 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.