Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Are the Rules of Dating Confusing You?

text“Going to O’Reilly’s. Join me at 7″

When Sarah received this message, she wasn’t sure if Jason was asking her on a date or just wanted her to hang out with friends. The message came by text. She was hoping for more than a friendship with Jason, but not sure where he stands. Was this a gesture of dating? She wasn’t sure. 

Sarah isn’t the only one. A survey by USA TODAY among 2647 singles found that 69% of people between the ages of 18-59 who are single are equally confused.

Is a date a planned evening withe friends, an individual invitation or a direct ask out?

Usually, we think we need to show special interest in a person and ask him or her out. But technology makes the ask a bit unclear.

So what can you do if you are uncertain?

Text back and clarify? This may back fire. If it the invitation was only a friendship one, awkward!

Go and find out as the evening unfolds. Probably an OK strategy. Be ready for either option since you can’t always determine what a person is thinking or asking from a text!

Call, talk to the person and see if you can get more information. Sometimes, a live interaction can help you read tone and intent better.

It’s a new frontier but nothing beats the face to face contact!

 

  • trlkly

    A lot of people specifically recommend being vague about whether you are on a date or not, for pretty much the same reason that you recommend not asking for clarification. If the other person views you as just a friend, it may make things awkward.

    Because I know that, just because it turns out we are not romantically compatible doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you. Yet, the way everything is set up nowadays, it’s always either one or the other. You can’t tell someone you would like to be romantically involved, have them disagree, and then just hang out as friends. IT would be so much better if that didn’t make everything so awkward.

    Because, come on. Being someone I want to be friends with is a requirement for me to want to date you. Of course I would like to just be your friend if dating is off the table.

Previous Posts

When God Doesn't Meet Our Expetations
Last Sunday was Palm Sunday, a glorious day in the church. We celebrated Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem on a donkey. I learned that the donkey was symbolic of a king coming in peaceful power. A King who goes to war would have ridden in on a warhorse. A King who comes in peace rides a donke

posted 6:00:47am Mar. 31, 2015 | read full post »

The Mismatch of Conflict Styles: How to Handle It
                If you've taken the FREE quiz on my website, drlindahelps.com, you know your conflict style--avoider, reactor or negotiator. Now the issue is, does your style match with those with whom you are intimate? What happens whe

posted 6:00:28am Mar. 30, 2015 | read full post »

8 Questions: Are You A Hard Worker or Workalholic?
In the same way a drug addict uses cocaine or an alcoholic downs booze, work can have an anesthetizing effect on negative emotions. People use work to escape and avoid unpleasant emotional states. But because hard work is so sanctioned in our society, it is an addiction often minimized. Our once

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Breaking the Mental Habit of Worry
Because worry is in the mind, it is a mental habit that must be broken. Here are a few practical tips to help break the worry habit: Identify the thought behind the worried or anxious feeling. Let it come and don’t try to suppress it with thoughts like, “Stop worrying” “Don’t do this

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Hurt By a Conflict? How Do You ReBuild Trust?
You've heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you say. Keep your promises. Empathize with the other person’s issue and try to see t

posted 6:00:39am Mar. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.