Beliefnet
Doing Life Together

According to marriage researcher, Paul Amato, 60% of divorces in the U.S. are from low conflict couples. This means these divorces were not characterized by abuse, addiction, repeated infidelity, or even high conflict. The marriages just fizzled. Couples stopped paying attention to each other and lost the fun and excitement of relationship. It’s the old, “We are drifting apart,” syndrome.

But the fizzle can easily turn to sizzle with attention and care:

1) Create boundaries around the relationship by reserving time together. Say NO to activities and YES to time alone.If you allow all the distractions of modern living to creep in to your lives, there will be little time for each other.

2) Talk about the relationship becoming mundane and decide to change a few things. Imagine what would add a little zest to the relationship. Novelty revitalizes a relationship. Try new things together. Get out of your routine.

3) Avoid the blame game. It’s the first step towards the slippery slope to divorce.

4) Talk about time for chores, work and tasks around the house. Divide the labor and assign tasks based on skill and what each person likes to do.

5) Control your anger and forgive quickly. Don’t sit on angry feelings and don’t vent them in ways that are disrespectful. Deal with your negative feelings and repair issues quickly. This keeps the emotional bond strong.

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