Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

10 Holiday Tips for Blended Families

blmededBob and Rose are a blended family now. They are asking for ways to make the holidays better in terms of that blending. Here are 10 tips:

  1. Examine your expectations and  let go of any  “Brady Bunch” fantasies. Most disappointments come from unrealistic expectations.
  2. Continue “old” holiday traditions with your biological kids while creating new ones with the stepfamily. This helps the children ease into the new.
  3. If the kids don’t feel the holiday cheer, try to see the world from their point of view. They have lost the old and are adjusting to the new. Eventually, they will adjust.
  4. Practice the fine art of silence when your stepfamily is stressed by the holidays. You don’t have to share all your negative feelings.
  5. Don’t compete with your children’s “other” parents by showering kids with expensive gifts.
  6. Stepmoms, reach out to your stepkids’ mother. Buy her a gift. Tell her you appreciate her children. (OK, this is optional!)
  7. Don’t fight with ex-spouses about how much time you will spend with children over the holidays. It only hurts the children
  8. Invite your ex-spouses over for a holiday party. Brace for surprises.
  9. Join a stepparent support group to share the many feelings about “family” that come up during the holiday season.
  10. Pray and be patient. Blending takes on average, 2-4 years of adjustment time.
Previous Posts

When God Doesn't Meet Our Expetations
Last Sunday was Palm Sunday, a glorious day in the church. We celebrated Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem on a donkey. I learned that the donkey was symbolic of a king coming in peaceful power. A King who goes to war would have ridden in on a warhorse. A King who comes in peace rides a donke

posted 6:00:47am Mar. 31, 2015 | read full post »

The Mismatch of Conflict Styles: How to Handle It
                If you've taken the FREE quiz on my website, drlindahelps.com, you know your conflict style--avoider, reactor or negotiator. Now the issue is, does your style match with those with whom you are intimate? What happens whe

posted 6:00:28am Mar. 30, 2015 | read full post »

8 Questions: Are You A Hard Worker or Workalholic?
In the same way a drug addict uses cocaine or an alcoholic downs booze, work can have an anesthetizing effect on negative emotions. People use work to escape and avoid unpleasant emotional states. But because hard work is so sanctioned in our society, it is an addiction often minimized. Our once

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Breaking the Mental Habit of Worry
Because worry is in the mind, it is a mental habit that must be broken. Here are a few practical tips to help break the worry habit: Identify the thought behind the worried or anxious feeling. Let it come and don’t try to suppress it with thoughts like, “Stop worrying” “Don’t do this

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Hurt By a Conflict? How Do You ReBuild Trust?
You've heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you say. Keep your promises. Empathize with the other person’s issue and try to see t

posted 6:00:39am Mar. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.