Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

The Secret Relationship Killer

thinking womANIt’s toxic.

It can be sexual, but doesn’t have to be.

It can be present and you may  not be aware of it.

It’s at the heart of failing relationships.

The secret relationship killer is betrayal. And betrayal isn’t always about infidelity. It has different faces like when a husband thinks more about his career than his wife. Or a wife decides not to have children, even though this was not the original plan. Partners who are selfish, cold and unfair display their disloyalty in every day acts, thus betraying the emotional safety and assurance one needs in a relationship.

Lies that are told to maintain the peace are acts of betrayal. Siding with a family member against your spouse, being emotionally absent and withholding sex are other ways to betray your partner. And of course, breaking promises to each other qualifies as well.

What makes a relationship work is trust–the opposite of betrayal.

If you relationship suffers from a lack of trust, try these things to start building it back:

1) Repent and be remorseful. Accept responsibility for your behavior and ask for forgiveness.

2) Commit to being honest and carrying no secrets.

3)  Think about what went wrong and why in an order to avoid a repeat.

4) Make changes in your behavior. Tell your partner so he or she notice the change.

5) Be patient. Trust is easy to lose and takes time to rebuild. But it can be done and is necessary to move a relationship forward.

  • http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/04/why-men-wont-commit/ Renee

    I don’t believe that betrayal is the only thing that kills a relationship. There are so much more like loss or lack of attraction and connection… It takes time to build attraction and connection between two people. This takes patience too.

Previous Posts

A Therapeutic Way to Deal With Heartache or Tragedy
He sat in my office and told me his father died suddenly of a heart attack. There was no warning and he and his mom were heartbroken.  She was crying as she talked about her 20 year marriage coming to an end. Her husband words, "I don't love you and want out," hit hard.  He never saw it comi

posted 6:00:05am Feb. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Take the Quiz: Do You Love Money Too Much?
Money, money, money...The OJays sang about it, reminding us us what people will do for the love of money-steal from their mother, rob from their brother, lie, cheat and don't care who they hurt or beat, etc. In Matthew, Jesus tells us that you can't love money and God. He chided the religious le

posted 6:00:17am Feb. 25, 2015 | read full post »

A School Success Measure More Important Than Intelligence
These days, parents seemed consumed with their children getting high test scores. The belief is that high test scores predicts academic success. But a new study suggests that parents should put their efforts elsewhere--in developing the personalities of their children. With more concern about wh

posted 6:00:29am Feb. 23, 2015 | read full post »

One Way to Facilitate the Feeling of Love
Rosie is a little anxious about her first date with Sean. We all know how important first impressions are when it comes to finding love. After a few outings at a local coffee shop, her feelings of attraction were obvious. The setting was intimate, soft  music played in the background and th

posted 6:00:15am Feb. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Want to Stay Young? Engage in the Arts!
Music, dance, drawing, reading, listening to poetry--all ways we can engage the arts. But is there a connection between staying young and engaging these activities? Yes, engaging in the arts helps you stay young. 1) Take up dancing. Dancing is not only aerobic but it challenges the brain. So t

posted 6:00:45am Feb. 18, 2015 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.