Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


The Secret Relationship Killer

posted by Linda Mintle

thinking womANIt’s toxic.

It can be sexual, but doesn’t have to be.

It can be present and you may  not be aware of it.

It’s at the heart of failing relationships.

The secret relationship killer is betrayal. And betrayal isn’t always about infidelity. It has different faces like when a husband thinks more about his career than his wife. Or a wife decides not to have children, even though this was not the original plan. Partners who are selfish, cold and unfair display their disloyalty in every day acts, thus betraying the emotional safety and assurance one needs in a relationship.

Lies that are told to maintain the peace are acts of betrayal. Siding with a family member against your spouse, being emotionally absent and withholding sex are other ways to betray your partner. And of course, breaking promises to each other qualifies as well.

What makes a relationship work is trust–the opposite of betrayal.

If you relationship suffers from a lack of trust, try these things to start building it back:

1) Repent and be remorseful. Accept responsibility for your behavior and ask for forgiveness.

2) Commit to being honest and carrying no secrets.

3)  Think about what went wrong and why in an order to avoid a repeat.

4) Make changes in your behavior. Tell your partner so he or she notice the change.

5) Be patient. Trust is easy to lose and takes time to rebuild. But it can be done and is necessary to move a relationship forward.



  • http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/04/why-men-wont-commit/ Renee

    I don’t believe that betrayal is the only thing that kills a relationship. There are so much more like loss or lack of attraction and connection… It takes time to build attraction and connection between two people. This takes patience too.

Previous Posts

The Hope of the Resurrection
It’s Good Friday. Do you sometimes feel as if your life is lived  in a perpetual Good Friday mode? Like the movie, Ground Hog Day, it seems you are replaying the same bad day over and over, fighting despair and struggling. Disease, broken relationships, prodigal children...the landscape looks

posted 7:00:41am Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Honey, Do Your Know Where My Glasses Are?
It's a running joke in our house. Where are mom's glasses? Mom, that would be me, is constantly putting them down and forgetting where they are! I don't think it is an aging thing because the misplaced glasses have been misplaced for years. Oh and this happens to my cell phone on a regular basis

posted 7:00:14am Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

It's Tax Day But How Is Your Emotional Bank Account Doing?
Yes, today is tax day and many of you will make that last minute run for the post office before midnight! Why? Because you don't want to be penalized by the federal government. But what about your emotional bank account?  Do you need to make more deposits when it comes to your relationships? An

posted 7:00:26am Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Bully Targets Not Who You Think
A high school sophomore takes two kitchen knives to his school and goes on a stabbing frenzy in the hallway of his high school wounding 22 people. According to his lawyer,  he was well liked and not a loner. The typical bullied pattern of a loner, social awkward teen may not fit this time. Bully

posted 7:00:07am Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Chew on This If You Chew on Gum
When that new flavor of gum hits the grocery store, its tempting. Watermelon sour, triple berry fruit...sounds like dessert in a stick, but what is the skinny on gum chewing? As a mom, I didn't let my kids chew gum, probably because I am not a gum chewer, so we never had gum in the house. But I k

posted 8:05:16am Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.