The way you think about marriage matters. When marriage is reduced to a set up conditions, you do this, I’ll do that… and as long as we are happy, we stay together, you’ve missed God’s design for marriage.
Do you think of your marriage as a contract?
Yes, marriage is a legal contract, but it is also a covenant. Meaning, marriage is a vow you make to your partner for life, an unbreakable promise.
Would your marriage be different if you believed you had to make it work no matter what?
Would you try harder?
Would you base fewer of your reactions on feelings, and more on working together?
Would you look outside the marriage to get your needs met?
Would you extend forgiveness more often?
Would you deal with anger faster, stop avoiding conflict and try to resolve issues?
Would you focus more on the positive attributes of your partner, trying to build that person up, not tear down?
The answers to these questions depend on what you believe about covenant relationships. If in the back of your mind, you believe you can get out of the marriage, the exit door is always open. This thinking impacts your behavior.
So I challenge you, start thinking of your marriage as more than contract. Think about it as a life long relationship, as a commitment that won’t be broken, and see how that thinking changes your relationship.