Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


6 Signs of a Failing Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

couple arguingKim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce.

When they came to see me, I saw six signs of distress that told me things were not good. Check your marriage for these signs and get to a marital therapist now if these represent you.

1) Kim and Mark began every discussion with anger and criticism. The way a discussion begins predicts how it ends 96% of the time. If one partner uses a harsh start up (negative, accusatory, etc.), the marriage has a chance of failing.

 

2) The couple was hardly talking. Both had checked out emotionally and erected a stone wall around their emotional lives. Negative interactions that contain criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling lead to divorce.

 

3) Mark continued to distance from Kim because he could not handle the negativity she constantly pointed out in the relationship. Being overwhelmed by the negativity of one person causes the other to become flooded by intense feelings of negativity and then to disengage emotionally.

 

4) Mark refused to talk and Kim pursued him even more, but neither was connecting. The physical body becomes overwhelmed and the person can’t maintain the discussion. Thus they opt out physically and emotionally.

 

5) Kim tried many times to engage Mark and talk about problems but he had checked out emotionally. The partner’s attempts to repair conflict fail. 

 

6) When I asked them about their relationship, they had nothing positive to say. The past is recalled with a negative view.

 

So if your relationship is failing, don’t opt out, but look for these signs and get help.

We know how to repair marital difficulties.

Most couples divorce over fixable problems. And God wants you to take marriage seriously and honor the covenant.

 



Previous Posts

Why Talking on the Phone is Like Driving Drunk
I now live in a fairly small town and have noticed how many people drive and talk on their cell phones. Without fail, when someone is driving erratically, too slow in a lane or crossing over the mid line, I look, and yes, the person is talking on the phone. Researchers tell us that talking on the

posted 7:12:23am Jul. 31, 2014 | read full post »

What Does Your Clutter Say About You?
Is your closet a window into your mental health? Are you what you wear?  Does saving your old college sports uniform remind you of the glory days of your life?  How about those hundreds of books you will never read again, but can't bring yourself to part with them?  Maybe closer to ho

posted 7:00:44am Jul. 30, 2014 | read full post »

Teens and TV: Are They Overdoing It?
By now, most of you are aware that too much screen viewing for children and teens is linked to  elevated blood pressure, high cholesterol, lack of sleep, school problems, aggression, and being overweight. And we know that teen viewing habits often carry over to adult viewing habits. So how are

posted 7:00:54am Jul. 28, 2014 | read full post »

Body-Brain Connection: When Bigger Really is Better
"As your weight goes up, the size and function of your brain goes down." This, according to psychiatrist, Daniel Amen. It's true, smaller doesn't always mean better, especially when it comes to the size of your brain! Dr. Amen, author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Body, wants us all to get o

posted 9:27:01am Jul. 17, 2014 | read full post »

5 Proactive Steps to Get Rid of Job Worry
Downsizing, added work loads, difficult co-workers, budget cuts and poor leadership can cause even the calmest person to worry on the job. On way to deal with stress and job worries is to control the things you can and trust God for the rest. Here are 5 proactive steps you can take in order to g

posted 7:00:22am Jul. 15, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.