Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


6 Signs of a Failing Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

couple arguingKim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce.

When they came to see me, I saw six signs of distress that told me things were not good. Check your marriage for these signs and get to a marital therapist now if these represent you.

1) Kim and Mark began every discussion with anger and criticism. The way a discussion begins predicts how it ends 96% of the time. If one partner uses a harsh start up (negative, accusatory, etc.), the marriage has a chance of failing.

 

2) The couple was hardly talking. Both had checked out emotionally and erected a stone wall around their emotional lives. Negative interactions that contain criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling lead to divorce.

 

3) Mark continued to distance from Kim because he could not handle the negativity she constantly pointed out in the relationship. Being overwhelmed by the negativity of one person causes the other to become flooded by intense feelings of negativity and then to disengage emotionally.

 

4) Mark refused to talk and Kim pursued him even more, but neither was connecting. The physical body becomes overwhelmed and the person can’t maintain the discussion. Thus they opt out physically and emotionally.

 

5) Kim tried many times to engage Mark and talk about problems but he had checked out emotionally. The partner’s attempts to repair conflict fail. 

 

6) When I asked them about their relationship, they had nothing positive to say. The past is recalled with a negative view.

 

So if your relationship is failing, don’t opt out, but look for these signs and get help.

We know how to repair marital difficulties.

Most couples divorce over fixable problems. And God wants you to take marriage seriously and honor the covenant.

 



Previous Posts

It's Tax Day But How Is Your Emotional Bank Account Doing?
Yes, today is tax day and many of you will make that last minute run for the post office before midnight! Why? Because you don't want to be penalized by the federal government. But what about your emotional bank account?  Do you need to make more deposits when it comes to your relationships? An

posted 7:00:26am Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Bully Targets Not Who You Think
A high school sophomore takes two kitchen knives to his school and goes on a stabbing frenzy in the hallway of his high school wounding 22 people. According to his lawyer,  he was well liked and not a loner. The typical bullied pattern of a loner, social awkward teen may not fit this time. Bully

posted 7:00:07am Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Chew on This If You Chew on Gum
When that new flavor of gum hits the grocery store, its tempting. Watermelon sour, triple berry fruit...sounds like dessert in a stick, but what is the skinny on gum chewing? As a mom, I didn't let my kids chew gum, probably because I am not a gum chewer, so we never had gum in the house. But I k

posted 8:05:16am Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

#NOT TALKING TO YOU #FIGHTINGAGAIN: Tweeting Our Way to Conflict
TWEET: You didn't follow through on your promise today#madatyouagain TWEET: How about the way you responded #outofcontrol TWEET: No way. Call me @JohnSmith. I'm over Tim! TWEET: #overreacting. #outofcontrol and trying to blame me. I guess I eat out tonight! TWEET: Seriously, no dinner wi

posted 7:00:41am Apr. 10, 2014 | read full post »

I'm Trying to Fall Asleep But I'm Too Wound Up!
I spent too much money on a pillow that was supposed to help me sleep better. The promise was that it would stay cool and not cause any neck discomfort. It is a comfortable pillow, but I still find myself waking in the middle of the night, turning the pillow over to cool it down. So much for the sta

posted 7:00:47am Apr. 09, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.