Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

4 Reasons Not To Avoid Conflict

I’m guessing that, “In this world, you will have trouble…” is not your favorite BIble verse to quote!

But it is true, with trouble comes conflict.  Conflict is always present in our relationships and many of us don’t like to deal with it. But here are 4 reasons you should not AVOID conflict:

1) Initially, avoiding conflict might lessen stress. This may be true for the moment, but when conflict is avoided it builds. The build-up of bad feelings can lead to resentment. Then the likelihood of an explosion increases and often results in hurtful ways of handling problems

Advertisement

2) One study noted that while people feel better avoiding at the time of the conflict, they don’t feel better the next day. In the study, physical symptoms and negative well-being were higher the day after the conflict in conflict avoiders than in people who confronted problems.[1] In other words, the impact showed up after the fact.

3) Researchers at the University of Michigan looked at conflict as it relates to longevity of life. They concluded that people who deal with conflict live longer. Specifically, they observed that when both partners in a couple relationship felt unfairly attacked and suppressed their anger at the other, they died earlier than couples who communicated their anger.

Advertisement

4) Another reason not to avoid conflict is that avoiding can lead to sudden eruptions due to a backlog of feelings that have been banked. I see this most often working with people with eating disorders. Other times, conflict simmers below the surface and leads to irritability.


[1] Birditt, K.S. (Oct 2010). Marital conflict behaviors and implications for divorce over 16 years. Journal of Marriage and Family. 72 (5), pp. 1188-1204

Previous Posts

A Super Bowl Outcome You May Not Like
Super Bowl week! Yes, we are obsessed with the game. And part of that obsession includes our Super Bowl menu. But what if I told you that your menu and eating habits are influenced by the game. Super Bowl  has an eating outcome you may not ...

posted 7:00:32am Feb. 05, 2016 | read full post »

Conflict? Who Should Make the First Move?
Hannah hadn't spoken to her mother for a month and the tension between them could be cut with a knife. It was Saturday morning and Hannah was contemplating picking up the phone and making a call. She wanted to resolve the problem. But here ...

posted 7:00:31am Feb. 03, 2016 | read full post »

Fighting with a Narcissist
Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and the fights take on a common pattern. Sharon is dating a narcissist. The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of ...

posted 7:00:58am Feb. 02, 2016 | read full post »

Dad's Anxiety Could Affect His Unborn Child!
Blog Question: My husband is very anxious about the birth of our second child. He is feeling the economic pressure of our expanding family and worries about everything. He is making me anxious because of his state of distress. What can I tell ...

posted 7:00:09am Jan. 29, 2016 | read full post »

Who is Deciding If Your Child is ADHD?
I've been in practice for over 20 years and worked in a center for ADHD. One of our goals was to make sure the right kids were correctly diagnosed when it came to ADHD. Great care was taken to do the proper assessments that help make the ...

posted 7:00:22am Jan. 27, 2016 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.