Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

If I asked you today, how you feel about your mom, would you be conflicted?

Does that question raise anxiety in you, or make you feel upset, or do you just want to avoid the answer? The powerful mother-daughter bond is a hotbed for all kinds of emotions. And it doesn’t much matter what age we are, or if our mother is alive or deceased. When emotions run positive, the mother-daughter bond is like no other. But when negative emotions rear their ugly heads, poor reactions and coping lead to depression, anxiety, anger and a host of bad feelings.

So how do we handle the strong negative emotions we sometimes feel towards our moms? For example, have you ever visited the home you grew up in and felt like you were ten years old again. That happens when you don’t have a strong sense of who you are apart from your mother. The way we listen without becoming defensive is to first figure out what we think and feel. When we have a handle on our own ideas,  it si easier to listen to her thoughts without becoming angry or deeply hurt.

So when your mom says something that upsets you, take a deep breath and think about what she is saying. Is there any truth to it? If so, listen and take it to heart. If not, don’t lash out just because you feel wounded. Instead, tell her how the hurtful remark made you feel and ask her to be more careful with her words. Here’s an example, “Mom I felt hurt when you criticized my outfit.” If she continues, repeat your statement and ask her to stop. If she still continues, excuse yourself from the conversation. This is called setting appropriate limits.

The important point is to practice staying calm by knowing what you think and believe apart from your mother. Yes, her opinion matters, but it doesn’t have to run your life or your emotions.



Previous Posts

Body-Brain Connection: When Bigger Really is Better
"As your weight goes up, the size and function of your brain goes down." This, according to psychiatrist, Daniel Amen. It's true, smaller doesn't always mean better, especially when it comes to the size of your brain! Dr. Amen, author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Body, wants us all to get o

posted 9:27:01am Jul. 17, 2014 | read full post »

5 Proactive Steps to Get Rid of Job Worry
Downsizing, added work loads, difficult co-workers, budget cuts and poor leadership can cause even the calmest person to worry on the job. On way to deal with stress and job worries is to control the things you can and trust God for the rest. Here are 5 proactive steps you can take in order to g

posted 7:00:22am Jul. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Hair Raising: Kids Getting Bikini Waxes
When the New York Post reported that 14-year-old Glynis Coyne has been getting her legs waxed since she was eight years old, I just gasped. Apparently, I am not up on the trend--hair removal for prepubescent girls! Instead of a trip to the candy store, a growing number of moms choose spa visits. The

posted 7:00:32am Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

10 Reasons Couples Therapy Needs a Spiritual Base
Let's say your marriage is hurting and you know you need help. If you are a Christian couple, does it matter who you see and what approach the person uses to help you? Absolutely. So much of couples therapy is based on a secular humanistic approach and not on the truths of Christianity. Here i

posted 7:00:27am Jul. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Health Worries? The Internet a Blessings and a Curse!
So I am reading the morning paper, enjoying my coffee, when I come across a small article tucked in the health and wellness section of the Wall Street Journal. According to research in a British journal, calcium supplements, typically used to prevent osteoporosis, now appear to increase the risk f

posted 7:00:12am Jul. 09, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.