Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Stressed? One Way You Can Stop It

posted by Linda Mintle

“Sure I’ll cook for the spaghetti dinner.”

“Yes I can baby-sit your children for the day.”

“Yes, I can chair another committee.”

“Since no one else will volunteer, I guess I’ll do it.”

 

Do you ever find yourself saying these things and then realize you’ve taken on too much? You’ve committed to doing more than you can realistically handle. As a result, you are stressed and kicking yourself for not saying no.

When we don’t say NO is usually because we are afraid to speak up; don’t feel we have the right; need to please others; want to be loved for what we do; or think we have to be super person and do it all! Time to turn in your cape! Learn to say “No” and not feel guilty. You’ll reduce the stress in your life.

Saying “No” to things requires assertiveness. Assertiveness is behavior that falls somewhere in the middle of giving in and aggressiveness. It is not giving in to the wants of others or keeping silent and expecting people to read your mind. It is also not yelling at people and demanding your way. It is a practiced skill that helps you manage stress. Contrary to popular thought, you don’t have to be angry to be assertive. In fact, I prefer you stay calm.

There are two parts involved in being assertive: 1) know what you want 2) say it.  One of the reasons we don’t practice being assertive is because we don’t know what we want. We allow others to manipulate us in to doing things and then feel resentful because we have too much to do. Or we feel guilty and don’t believe we have the right to speak up.

When you address problems as they occur, you won’t build up anger and hold on to things that can grow into resentment. Often times, this is the root of depression, anxiety and eating disorders.

The benefits from speaking up are improved physical and psychological health. Your relationships will improve and you will better manage stress. In addition, you will gain respect from people. They may not like your stance, but they will respect you for taking one.

 

 



Previous Posts

TODAY GIVE THANKS!
I am thankful for a world of beautiful color! For family who loves me and loves God! For a marriage that has endured 40 years with my best friend! For children who honor God and each other! For my dad who at 93 is still with us! For all the many blessings we have....count them one by one! HAPP

posted 6:00:39am Nov. 27, 2014 | read full post »

4 Ways to Cultivate An Attitude of Gratitude
There is a great deal of entitlement in our culture. Daily, we are reminded as to what we deserve. Humility seems to be a lost character trait in a celebrity culture. So how can you intentionally develop an attitude of gratitude? Try these ideas every day, not just at Thanksgiving. 1) Write do

posted 6:00:58am Nov. 26, 2014 | read full post »

10 Ways to Encourage Your Partner to Go to Couple Therapy
"Our marriage needs help but my husband won't go to therapy." I've heard this statement often and it is usually filled with frustration, sadness and sometimes anger. A relationship is in trouble but one spouse refuses to get help. If a marriage is going to be helped, both people need to go t

posted 6:00:16am Nov. 24, 2014 | read full post »

Change Whining Into Gratitude
A mom asks: The other day I was so embarrassed because my child whined around when I was trying to talk to another mom. When our children whine, it really bothers us. We want to turn that whining to gratitude. How do we make that happen? When you want to extinguish one behavior and then replac

posted 6:00:32am Nov. 21, 2014 | read full post »

8 Tips for a Better Night's Sleep
Are you irritable? Difficult to live with because you are constantly tired? Time to look at your sleep habits and do something about them. If you are tossing and turning consider these 8 tips: Women take an average of nine minutes to fall asleep at night compared to 23 minutes for men. IF yo

posted 6:00:15am Nov. 19, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.