Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Can You Change Your Mom?

posted by Linda Mintle

A willingness to change helps in every relationship. We aren’t perfect and all bring some emotional baggage to our relationships. Perhaps you and your mother are locked in a situation now where a change is needed, but it seems too difficult to even think about.

I’ve had a number of women say to me. “My mother is the one who should change. After all she is the mother and supposed to be more mature. I’ll change when she changes.”

My answer to this comment is, “Maybe your mother isn’t in a position to change right now, or maybe she just refuses to change at all. Since only children fight about who should go first, are you ready to be a grown-up and start working on your relationship. You make changes and you’ll see a relationship change .

I like to borrow author Harriet Lerner’s visual picture of relationships. Mother-daughter relationships can be thought of like a dance. You take a step, then she does and a familiar dance emerges. Get that picture in your mind. If you make a change in the familiar dance, it changes the dance. That idea should give you hope. You are not a victim if your mother won’t change because any change you make in the relationship, will change the relationship. Expect resistance when you change because we all like to do things the same old way–it’s comfortable and what we know. Change is uncomfortable but possible.

If you want to begin making changes in your mother-daughter relationship, don’t keep hoping your mom will change. Instead, you concentrate on your step in the mother-daughter dance. Make the necessary changes. Work on your reactions to her and I promise, change will take place.



Previous Posts

Is Fear Stopping You From Taking Medications?
If you have ever seen a TV commercial for a specific drug, you probably wonder why anyone would ever take that drug. The speed reading list of possible side effects is enough to stop most of us from even considering that drug. But the FDA requires that ads list the possible side effects of a medicat

posted 6:00:50am Oct. 23, 2014 | read full post »

Could Watching Violence and Sex in Movies Affect Your Children?
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are considered good parents. But are they too lenient when it comes to letting their children watch movies filled with sex and violence? A new study sheds light on why parents may be too lenient when it comes to allowing children to view sex and violence in films. The Annen

posted 6:00:06am Oct. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Waiting: The Trying of Patience
Flying is no picnic these days. I dreaded the two-stop flight I recently took and for good reason. I was delayed on each leg. Fortunately, I had long lay overs and didn't miss connections, but several people on my flights did and found themselves waiting in airports for hours. What should have been

posted 7:27:31am Oct. 20, 2014 | read full post »

Loving Your Body, Imperfections and All!
Is it so difficult to accept the bodies we’ve been given, to celebrate them as uniquely designed by God and created in His image? Apparently. Loving, even liking, your body is a rare thing in today’s culture. It seems we all belong to the sisterhood of the dissatisfied traveling pants! If we

posted 6:00:33am Oct. 16, 2014 | read full post »

What Type of Decision Maker are You?
Last week, I was going out of town for the weekend. I spent hours going over my wardrobe choices. What if it rains, gets cold, I want something more formal, etc.? My husband opened his suitcase, threw in a few outfits and was done with it. No looking back, waffling or hanging in the air with poss

posted 6:00:55am Oct. 14, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.