Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


I Am My Mother-Not!

posted by Linda Mintle

Years ago I had a favorite coffee mug. It looked like this: A shrieking woman was pulling out her hair, looking totally stressed, and screaming, “EEEEEEK I am my mother.” I laughed when I first saw it. Then I thought about it. The sentiment was funny, scary and true, all at the same time.

Even though we adult daughters like to pretend that we are nothing like our mothers– parts of her are in us. And that doesn’t have to be a frightening thought, even in the most negative cases. Because  you can make changes. You aren’t a victim of your parenting and doomed to repeat every pattern ever past down the generational line. But the first step to making changes is always to ADMIT to the problem. So admit it. You are a unique woman and you are also like your mother. Those two realities can co-exist.

Next, do a quick inventory. List positive and negative ways that you and your mom are alike. For example, we both cry easily and get our feelings hurt, or we have that same tendency to be controlling, to yell at our kids, to complain when difficulty comes? Try to be very honest.

Then take the list, and focus on the negative items one at a time and begin to work on changing that behavior. With practice and ongoing awareness, you can make changes. And remember, every mother gives something good to her daughter.

In the same way I remind parents to catch their children being good and praise them, adult daughters need to periodically  “catch their mothers being good” as well.

The next time someone says, you are so much like your mother, smile and accept the compliment or work on making changes.



Previous Posts

Treating Binge Eating With Medication?
Every day Sally vows she will not eat herself sick. But today is no different. She is distressed, eating past full and feeling as if she has no control. Sally suffers from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) which has been recognized as a psychiatric disorder. To date, there are no medications approved f

posted 6:00:35am Jan. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Is Binge Drinking Just College Fun?
In the throws of January, college students begin dreaming about Spring Break. Those plans often include partying on a beach with nonstop drinking. Binge drinking is "a pattern of drinking that brings blood alcohol concentration (BAC) levels to 0.08 g/dL. This typically occurs after 4 drinks for w

posted 6:00:57am Jan. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Does the Cold Make You Catch a Cold?
My mom used to tell me to put a hat on my baby when the weather was cold. I used to argue, "Mom, babies don't catch colds from the cold. They get them from viruses. I'm not putting a hat on the baby." But now it seems that my mom could have been on to something. Could the cold weather actually p

posted 6:00:36am Jan. 21, 2015 | read full post »

How Often Should I Weigh Myself?
We all know that the number on the scale isn't suppose to define us, but that doesn't stop us from thinking about how much we weigh on any given day. And the number often influences our mood. So how often should we weigh? Every day, once a week, once a month? The answer depends on your goal--t

posted 6:00:28am Jan. 19, 2015 | read full post »

Do Professional Women Have a Place in the Church?
It was a usual Sunday and time for announcements. The Associate Pastor announced the women's meeting at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesday. The focus was on decorating the church for the holidays. The men were meeting Friday morning at 6:30 am. to discuss marketplace ministry. I looked at my husband and whispere

posted 6:00:30am Jan. 16, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.