Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Jerry Sandusky: Should His Wife Be Clueless?

posted by Linda Mintle

With the Jerry Sandusky case in the news, I heard a well-known radio commentator ask, “If these accusations are true, how could his wife not know what he was doing?” It’ a good question that people may wonder. If someone is guilty of doing the things Jerry Sandusky is accused of doing (there is no verdict yet), would the wife really be so clueless?

Often we think of pedophiles as dirty old men in trench coats offering children candy. We think we should be able to immediately spot them. However,  the profile of a child molester may surprise you.

According to the Department of Justice and  psychological experts, these are some of the characteristics that are common among pedophiles:

1) Usually male and married.

2) Prefers to be with children over adults.

3) Finds employment, opportunities, charities, volunteer organizations that involve children.

4) Usually non-violent with no criminal history.

5) Seduces children he knows through subtle and persuasive tactics.

6) Goes to great lengths to conceal his activity and presents self as an exemplary person.

7) Rationalizes his behavior and tells self that what he is doing is not harmful. Lacks empathy for the children involved.

8) Can be any age and from any socioeconomic class, and can be religious.

9) Has deviant sexual interest (like watching children dress), arousal patterns and interests.

10) May or may not have been sexual abused himself. Dr. Marshal, a leading sex offender expert points out that the literature does not support the notion that all sex offenders have been sexually abused. Some have been, and some have not.

Unfortunately, there is no typical profile of a sex offender. So it is difficult to know who is doing the offending.

So back to the question, “Would a wife know if her husband was sexually molesting children?” Very often, the wife is taken aback when she finds out the truth. Because her husband isn’t a “criminal,” it is hard to believe he could be acting this way. People who know him are also surprised.

Can you spot a pedophile? Not always. Even when a spouse has suspicions, they are usually cast aside because the behavior is usually concealed. Denial is powerful when you have little reason to expect anything that would lead to such humiliation.

 

 

 



Previous Posts

Why is There a War on Christianity?
Every time I turn on the news I hear about some group who is trying to strip God out of the culture. They don't want prayer in school, God on our money, the 10 commandments in court rooms, Christian clubs to meet on college campuses (but Sex Week is fine), manger scenes on lawns, I could go on and o

posted 7:00:44am Apr. 23, 2014 | read full post »

Have You Found Your Soul Mate?
People tell me in therapy that they have or want to find their soulmate.  I'm really not sure what that means. Murray's new book, The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead defines  soulmate as your closest friend to whom you are sexually attracted. I like this definition because of the importanc

posted 7:00:17am Apr. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Should You Marry Young?
Friends of ours married off their son when he just turned 21. Another is getting married at 20 and hey, I was married at 19! Yes, I know, that is really young. But is marrying young a good idea? Well, for me it obviously worked. I'm about to celebrate 40 years of marriage this year. Yes, we ha

posted 7:00:59am Apr. 21, 2014 | read full post »

The Hope of the Resurrection
It’s Good Friday. Do you sometimes feel as if your life is lived  in a perpetual Good Friday mode? Like the movie, Ground Hog Day, it seems you are replaying the same bad day over and over, fighting despair and struggling. Disease, broken relationships, prodigal children...the landscape looks

posted 7:00:41am Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Honey, Do Your Know Where My Glasses Are?
It's a running joke in our house. Where are mom's glasses? Mom, that would be me, is constantly putting them down and forgetting where they are! I don't think it is an aging thing because the misplaced glasses have been misplaced for years. Oh and this happens to my cell phone on a regular basis

posted 7:00:14am Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.