Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Are You Normal When It Comes to Married Couples and Sex?

posted by Linda Mintle

Jennifer came to therapy because she was not having sex with her husband. She wondered if this was normal. It isn’t. Then she asked a question so many people ask, “What is normal when it comes to sex in marriage?”

The answer to this question depends on a number of factors and is difficult to address in general. But we do know a few things from surveying couples. Here are a few interesting findings  from a large couple survey and other research recently reported in the Wall Street Journal:

1) When marital therapists talk about couples in a nonsexual marriage, we usually mean a married couple who has sex less than 10 times a year.

2) Regardless of what media portrays, married couples have more sex than co-habitating or dating couples

3) Almost 80% of married couples have sex a few times a month or more.

4) 32% have sex two to three times a week or more.

5) 47% say they have sex a few times per month.

6) 80% of married couples schedule time to have sex.

More important than the numbers and frequency of sex, is how satisfied couples are with their married sex lives. Dissatisfaction and disconnection can lead to problems and should be discussed. Sexual difficulties can be triggered by physical, emotional or even stress problems. Thus, getting to the root of dissatisfaction is important. Things like busyness, boredom, childhood trauma, stress reactions, aging and a host of other issues can lead to sexual problems. And couples are not good at talking about this subject with each other.

So start talking, sleeping in the same bed together, showing physical affection to each other during nonsexual times and making time for intimacy.

If you find yourself unable to make changes or even have a conversation about your sex life, consider getting professional help from a Christian therapist who specializes in sex therapy. Doing nothing only continues the dissatisfied and puts the marriage at risk.

 



  • http://www.thesexdiet.com James

    Thanks for this post, I came here because it was cited in my wife’s copy of “The Sex Diet” but needed clarification on the topic, as it didn’t go into much detail.

    I think every couple could benefit from this article. I was shocked that 80% schedule sex! When we lose spontaneity we lose passion (my opinion)

    P.S. You may want to reach out to the authors of The Sex Diet ( http://www.thesexdiet.com ) I would personally love to see an article from two like-sounding minds, both of whom I have found inspiring. Can’t wait until your next article Linda! (also my wife’s name ha!)

  • Pingback: Are You Normal When It Comes to Married Couples and Sex? | Dr. Linda Mintle

Previous Posts

Is Fear Stopping You From Taking Medications?
If you have ever seen a TV commercial for a specific drug, you probably wonder why anyone would ever take that drug. The speed reading list of possible side effects is enough to stop most of us from even considering that drug. But the FDA requires that ads list the possible side effects of a medicat

posted 6:00:50am Oct. 23, 2014 | read full post »

Could Watching Violence and Sex in Movies Affect Your Children?
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are considered good parents. But are they too lenient when it comes to letting their children watch movies filled with sex and violence? A new study sheds light on why parents may be too lenient when it comes to allowing children to view sex and violence in films. The Annen

posted 6:00:06am Oct. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Waiting: The Trying of Patience
Flying is no picnic these days. I dreaded the two-stop flight I recently took and for good reason. I was delayed on each leg. Fortunately, I had long lay overs and didn't miss connections, but several people on my flights did and found themselves waiting in airports for hours. What should have been

posted 7:27:31am Oct. 20, 2014 | read full post »

Loving Your Body, Imperfections and All!
Is it so difficult to accept the bodies we’ve been given, to celebrate them as uniquely designed by God and created in His image? Apparently. Loving, even liking, your body is a rare thing in today’s culture. It seems we all belong to the sisterhood of the dissatisfied traveling pants! If we

posted 6:00:33am Oct. 16, 2014 | read full post »

What Type of Decision Maker are You?
Last week, I was going out of town for the weekend. I spent hours going over my wardrobe choices. What if it rains, gets cold, I want something more formal, etc.? My husband opened his suitcase, threw in a few outfits and was done with it. No looking back, waffling or hanging in the air with poss

posted 6:00:55am Oct. 14, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.