Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Is It Normal for Children to Lie?

posted by Linda Mintle

I write for a parenting magazine and this is a question I frequently get asked, “Is it normal for children to lie?”

While the answer is YES, that doesn’t mean it’s OK to lie. It is not, and parents have to deal with this behavior.

Proverbs 6:16-19 says, Here are six things God hates, and one more that he loathes with a passion: eyes that are arrogant, a tongue that lies, hands that murder the innocent, a heart that hatches evil plots, feet that race down a wicked track, a mouth that lies under oath,  a troublemaker in the family.

Children begin to lie around the age of two. The reasons they lie vary with developmental age. For example, two to three-year-olds often lie to avoid getting in trouble. Four to seven-year-olds usually lie to avoid punishment or hurting others. Teens can lie to keep their parents from really know what is going on in their lives. Other reasons for lying include not feeling safe and wanting special attention.

Interestingly, when researchers at the University of Virginia studied lying in adults, they noted that most adults lie once a day. So the message from parents can be that you do not always have to be truthful. Therefore, make sure you are not setting an example of lying yourself.

Researchers also tell us that harsh punishment for lying doesn’t work well with children. A better approach is to address the lying, give the child a chance to come clean and then give a consequence. Basically, you want to create an atmosphere in your home where truth is valued. So next time that adorable little child looks at you and tells you a lie say, “We all do things we shouldn’t at times, but it is not OK to lie about them. I need the truth now.  Here is a chance to tell the truth. And the consequence will be lighter if you come clean.“

Parents we have to lead by example in this area and then teach our children that lying is wrong.

If lying becomes a persistent pattern, it can indicate other problems such as conduct disorders and should be evaluated by a mental health professional.

 



Previous Posts

10 Ways to Respond to Someone Who Is Depressed
One good thing that came out of Robin William's death is that we are once again talking about depression. Depression can be a silent killer and still has a stigma despite the numbers of people who struggle with it in any give year. We don't like to talk about it, mostly because we don't know what to

posted 7:51:57am Aug. 30, 2014 | read full post »

The Real Reason We Yawn!
It's late afternoon. You are sitting in a meeting. Three people at the table yawn and you do the same. Are you bored? Tired? Or what? Need more coffee? Need more sleep? Or maybe you need a nice cool air-conditioned room! Even though we do yawn more when we are tired, tired may not be the re

posted 7:00:09am Aug. 27, 2014 | read full post »

Teacher Tells Student What Words She Cannot Say!
Some things defy common sense...here is one of them. Be ready to be outraged! Maybe you heard the story last week. High school senior Kendra Turner was suspended in Dyer County Tennessee for breaking a class rule. You might be thinking, "OK, teachers need to keep control of their classrooms."

posted 7:00:54am Aug. 25, 2014 | read full post »

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Split: Telling All May Have Been Too Much
The gossip train is all a buzz with what looks like a split between pop diva, Mariah Carey and her husband, America's Got Talent host, Nick Cannon. The usual suspects, TMZ, People, Hollywood Life and others are reporting the spilt, saying divorce is a done deal. The six-year marriage that produced

posted 7:51:12am Aug. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Withholding Friendship as a Weapon
I'll never forget the day my five-year-old came home and said, "No one will play with 'Sandy' because she doesn't do what they say!" I was upset and thankfully, my daughter thought it was mean. But the other girls excluded little Sandy and rejected her from their friendship circle. Would you be

posted 7:00:24am Aug. 20, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.