Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Are Bullies and Victims the Same?

Alex’s mom is tired of Alex being bullied on the playground. One way to help Alex is to understand the profiles associated with bullies and victims.

In 2010, the *APA published a study where researchers reviewed 153 studies on bullying over the past 30 years. What they found was that bullies and victims share similar traits. Both lack social problem-solving skills and feel awkward and uncomfortable among their peers. When you add poor academic skills to the mix, a bully, rather than a victim, is likely to emerge.

Advertisement

The study additionally profiled bullies with these traits:

1) Negative attitudes and beliefs about others

2) Negative self-image

3) From families with conflict and poor parenting

4) Negative school perceptions

5) Negatively influenced by peers.

The study also noted that victims are usually aggressive, lack social skills, think negative thoughts, are problematic in social skills and solving problems, isolate, are rejected by peers and come from negative family, school and community environments.

So the take away here for parents is to address these issues:

To deal with a bully:

Get behavioral parent training. Years ago, I taught such a program in the Chicago area schools. Problematic children were identified by the schools because of their acting out. I traveled to their homes, observed their interactions with their parents and trained the parents in more effective parenting skills. In addition, children and parents practiced specific ways to handle bullying and problems. Both learned better problem-solving skills, and ways to lessen family conflict.

Advertisement

To help the victim:

Involve other children in standing up to the bully. The technique is called The Swarm. Basically, a group of bystanders swarm the bully and tell him or her to back off. There is power in numbers and bullies will often back down when confronted with a group that pushes back on them.

 

 

*Reference: “Predictors of Bullying and Victimization in Childhood and Adolescence: A Meta-analytic Investigation,” Clayton R. Cook, PhD, Louisiana State University; Kirk R. William, PhD, Nancy G. Guerra, EdD, Tia E. Kim, PhD, and Shelly Sadek, MA, University of California, Riverside; School Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 25, No.2

Previous Posts

National Dog Day: Take Your Canine to Work!
In honor of national dog day... I feel blessed that I get to take my dog to work every day. Zoe, pictured here, is the comfort dog for the medical school in which I work. Every morning she greets the students and helps reduce their stress. ...

posted 7:00:18am Aug. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Baby Names: Helping or Hurting Your Child?
When Shakespeare asked,  "What's in a name?" the answer is, more than you think. Many years ago, I worked in a very poor school district and noticed a number of the children had unusual names. The most unusual was a girl we called Phamalie ...

posted 7:00:52am Aug. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Angry? Do You Really Want to E-Vent?
John left the meeting frustrated, angry and ready to quit. He returned to his office and fired off an angry email. For the moment, he felt better, he got his anger off his chest. But did this behavior really help? Sarah returned from a ...

posted 7:00:43am Aug. 21, 2015 | read full post »

Picky Eaters May Have More Problems Than Food
Rena, a charming three-year-old, stares at the carrots, potatoes and chicken on her plate. She tells her mom she doesn't want any of it. No matter what is served, Rena wants to eat mac and cheese and hotdogs. Her mom is concerned about her ...

posted 8:20:22am Aug. 19, 2015 | read full post »

7 Ways Pride Makes Conflict Difficult
"Conflict is an inevitable reality. Like a car flying down the interstate, our body shuts the windows and locks the doors to contain all our pain. Conflict moves in a set direction on four wheels – distress, anger, fear and guilt. A rearview ...

posted 7:00:45am Aug. 18, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.