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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

And Why Am I Supposed to Cheer Brad and Angelina’s Engagement?

Big entertainment news last week on the cover of People–after living together for seven year and having  six children, Brad and Angie are engaged.

We supposed to be getting excited over this news.

Hollywood is dishing it out:

Could Brad sue over people copying the 16 karat ring design he gave Angelina? Relax. How many people can afford a 16 karat ring? I think we will all know if you have one, it is probably a copy!

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Have they been engaged for months? Who cares, they have been living together for years. Apparently he waited a year to pop the question so the ring could be designed.

Who will get the first pics of the official couple? The costs of those pics could probably make a serious dent in the national debt. Maybe the White House photographer should throw his or her hat in the ring for wedding photographer.

Who will design the wedding dress? The designer will become a star. This event will make a career. In fact, an entire mini industry will be created around this event. Finally, a real solution to job creation!

Of course, we will have numerous stories about how they almost called the whole thing off. They have to sell tabloids and keep our interest.

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According to People, the couple is ready to marry because their family has finally jelled. OK this is a new one to me as a family therapist. Have children before you marry, see if the group jells together and then get married. Not a strategy I have ever recommended.

So hold your hats people, this, according to the Hollywood Reporter, will be the wedding of the new century. Plan on seeing headline after headline all summer long on the dress, details of the wedding and speculation as to where it will be. Just gear up for a full summer of excruciating details until the election.

One reporter told us he will not rest until he knows when and where the wedding will be. Phew, we can all relax now!

Do I sound a bit cynical?

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Well, I am. This is Angelina’s third trip down the aisle and Brad’s second. According to reports, it is the kids who are clamoring for marriage. Brad has been quite vocal about not marrying until all people have the right to marry. He has stated repeatedly that he doesn’t put much value on marriage as an institution. So for me, I’m not too excited to hold these two out as marriage role models. Yes, they do great charity work, they seem like very nice people in the public eye, and I like that they are committed to their kids. As actors, they are entertaining and fun to watch. That said, they are not role models for marriage and so to get all excited over an engagement that is backwards isn’t happening for me.

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But I am happy they are getting married because I believe, based on the Bible,  it is the right thing to do.  So before you comment telling me I am intolerant and judging these two, let me remind you this blog is on the Christianity channel and I am doing life from a biblical perspective. The Bible is clear that living together without being married is wrong. Wrong is unpopular because it convicts and sets a standard. The standard is meant for our good, not to put people down.

I’ve had way too many conversations with Christian young adults about the biblical mandate to marry before living with someone. I have been shocked at the number of Christian kids who think cohabitation is no big deal and are clueless about what the Bible says regarding relationships. I know Hollywood has an influence. Most young adults spend more time consuming media than the Bible, so they are influenced by what Hollywood does. The complete acceptance of cohabitation as an acceptable lifestyle cheapens the biblical idea of covenant. Marriage is a holy and sacred act. It is a spiritual and physical union, not a casual try it out and see if it works idea.

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Don’t email me and tell me Brangolina have never proclaimed to be Christians. I know that and am not holding them up as Christian role models. But it was not that many years ago when we didn’t celebrate people living together. We thought it wasn’t a good idea, especially when children are involved. And the long term data on those who do live together is not good when it comes to staying committed to the relationship. Higher divorce rates are found among those who cohabitate and yet it is becoming normative. Couples who cohabitate have a better chance of marriage survival if they decide versus slide into marriage. My friend, Scott Stanley, at the University of Denver says, the “nature of commitment at the time of cohabitation is what’s important.”If you decide versus slide, your chances are a bit better to make it. Hopefully, Branjolina will make it.

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Because of the Internet, the lives of Hollywood celebrities are in our lives 24/7. Most times, there is a complete disregard for any faith perspective.  So while I am glad Brad and Angelina will finally marry, I’m just not celebrating it as the event of the decade.

Instead, I’d like to applaud those of you who married, then had children. You are the real role models and are headlining for God!

 

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Tommie Warren Usry

    Thank you for writing this! It NEEDED to be said. I don’t care if they get engaged. I no longer watch their movies or read anything in the tabloids. They disgust me. They are not the only Hollywoodites that do either. I no longer watch Tom Cruise movies either. I want nothing to do with cheaters. I could go on but I don’t think it’s necessary.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Patricia Roberts

    I agree wholeheartedly. When I saw your title I thought, “finally someone is writing the truth about this whole thing!” Who cares if they move on to the next step in this backwards relationship?? And how long will it last I wonder.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Karen

    If you are going to say something is Bible based, then where is it? Where do you read in the bible the steps about marrying? How come no scripture quotes?

  • http://wlf1989.org James

    This article is way too cynical-don’t sense any love for Angelina & Brad

  • Pingback: And Why Am I Supposed to Cheer Brad and Angelina’s Engagement? | Dr. Linda Mintle

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