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Doing Life Together

Are you emotionally expressive but attracted to someone who seems to be very reluctant to share his emotional feelings?

It may be the intrigue that has captured your attention. Or perhaps it is the challenge of opening up someone who seems emotional closed. This opposite style of dealing with feelings may seem interesting at first, but over time, can create problems in a relationship.

So why do we seem initially attracted to someone who might be opposite to us? What drives an extrovert to be attracted to the quiet reserved introvert? The answer has to do with finding someone who complements you and helps you grow. But the truth is, when you get into that opposite attraction relationship, problems arise. We really want people who are similar to us in many ways.

Attraction literature tells us that we are attracted to people who are similar on physical attraction, earning potential, desire for children, religion, class and education. And when we talk about values, similarities win big.

If you spend enough time around someone, you can begin to feel attraction. Proximity is a strong attraction feature. But the more you spend time with that person, the more you get to know him or her, the less likely it is that opposition will lead to a lasting relationship. Bottom line, similarities attract, not opposites. But you still need some differences to make the relationship interesting!

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