Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

The Duggar’s Miscarriage: A Model of Grieving

For those of you who may not know who the Duggars are, they are the family who currently has 19 children, all by natural birth, and have their own reality TV show on TLC, 19 Kids and Counting.

Recently, the mom, Michelle miscarried. The way they handled the miscarriage was considered “controversial” by some reporters.  Not by me. I was impressed having been through the experience myself and also having treated many couples who have experienced this loss.

Michelle and her husband Jim Bob posted photos on-line. One was of  Michelle’s hand hanging on to the tiny hand of her child who died. There was also an audio message stating how much the child was loved. It was tasteful and moving, especially the part where she says she will miss her child’s heart beat, a statement of the reality of pregnancy and loss.

Advertisement

Of course, the criticism rolls in. The main argument is that this private moment should not be made public. I’m sorry, but they are reality TV stars who had to acknowledge the loss in some public way. This was tasteful and a model for other families. The loss of life by miscarriage is often minimized and can result in couples being stuck in grieving.

Because a woman is pregnant, her body has changed to accommodate that pregnancy. When miscarriage occurs, the physical, hormonal, emotional, relationship and spiritual experience is intense. Grieving the loss is a necessary step to move forward. Yet,  I have counseled many couples who do not know how to handle the experience and grieve the loss. This can lead to depression and couple problems. With miscarriage, grieving is necessary. Part of mourning process may include some type of ritual like a ceremony, letter to the child, or photo (like the Duggars did).

Advertisement

Whether you agree with the Duggar’s  Christian faith and decision to have 19 children is not the issue here. This family grieved well. They involved their children in the process and handled their grief in a healthy way. My hope is that this will serve as a model for others. The public nature of this gives permission to other couples to openly grieve and acknowledge the loss of a baby. And that is a good use of reality TV stardom.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Sharon M.

    When babies are killed bec. of inconvenience (abortion on demand)of course pics of pre-born showing their humanity is controversial! It puts in the public’s face just what a pre-born human is, a person not a thing, or just a group of cells, but rather a unique human being. If you believe things happen for some reason, I believe this couple was chosen (and they in turn chose to do so) to show others the great love G-d has for all of us, and that ALL children are a gift from Him.

  • Pingback: The Duggar’s Miscarriage: A Model of Grieving | Dr. Linda Mintle

Previous Posts

When Healing Doesn't Seem to Come
I'm often asked on the radio if I believe that God heals. Yes, I do. I've seen God heal in my own life and the lives of my clients. Let's keep in mind that God heals in many ways. Sometimes it is a supernatural touch, other times he uses doctors ...

posted 6:00:59am Apr. 24, 2015 | read full post »

5 Important Points When Dealing With a High Conflict Person
We all have that person in our lives that drives us crazy and personalizes conflict, making it difficult to handle. Here are five points to keep in mind when dealing with a high conflict person. Choose your battles. Since most ...

posted 6:00:25am Apr. 22, 2015 | read full post »

The Consequences of Holding a Grudge
A grudge involves holding resentment because of some real or imagined wrong. A grudge develops when you don’t like the way a conflict ended. Nursing a grudge can lead to revenge. Consider the story of John the Baptist in Mark 6 of the ...

posted 6:00:42am Apr. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Angry: 7 Steps to Regain Control
Anger is a powerful emotion that needs to be controlled. If you struggle with anger, consider these steps to regain control. Admit that you are out of control. While anger is a normal emotion and not a sin, anger expression can be sinful. If ...

posted 6:00:25am Apr. 17, 2015 | read full post »

The Secret To Building Persistence in Your Child
Persistence is a trait that most parents want to see developed in their children. We know from research that persistent children are less likely to be delinquent and more likely to be engaged in school. What parent wouldn’t want to build this ...

posted 6:00:44am Apr. 14, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.