Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

The Duggar’s Miscarriage: A Model of Grieving

For those of you who may not know who the Duggars are, they are the family who currently has 19 children, all by natural birth, and have their own reality TV show on TLC, 19 Kids and Counting.

Recently, the mom, Michelle miscarried. The way they handled the miscarriage was considered “controversial” by some reporters.  Not by me. I was impressed having been through the experience myself and also having treated many couples who have experienced this loss.

Michelle and her husband Jim Bob posted photos on-line. One was of  Michelle’s hand hanging on to the tiny hand of her child who died. There was also an audio message stating how much the child was loved. It was tasteful and moving, especially the part where she says she will miss her child’s heart beat, a statement of the reality of pregnancy and loss.

Advertisement

Of course, the criticism rolls in. The main argument is that this private moment should not be made public. I’m sorry, but they are reality TV stars who had to acknowledge the loss in some public way. This was tasteful and a model for other families. The loss of life by miscarriage is often minimized and can result in couples being stuck in grieving.

Because a woman is pregnant, her body has changed to accommodate that pregnancy. When miscarriage occurs, the physical, hormonal, emotional, relationship and spiritual experience is intense. Grieving the loss is a necessary step to move forward. Yet,  I have counseled many couples who do not know how to handle the experience and grieve the loss. This can lead to depression and couple problems. With miscarriage, grieving is necessary. Part of mourning process may include some type of ritual like a ceremony, letter to the child, or photo (like the Duggars did).

Advertisement

Whether you agree with the Duggar’s  Christian faith and decision to have 19 children is not the issue here. This family grieved well. They involved their children in the process and handled their grief in a healthy way. My hope is that this will serve as a model for others. The public nature of this gives permission to other couples to openly grieve and acknowledge the loss of a baby. And that is a good use of reality TV stardom.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Sharon M.

    When babies are killed bec. of inconvenience (abortion on demand)of course pics of pre-born showing their humanity is controversial! It puts in the public’s face just what a pre-born human is, a person not a thing, or just a group of cells, but rather a unique human being. If you believe things happen for some reason, I believe this couple was chosen (and they in turn chose to do so) to show others the great love G-d has for all of us, and that ALL children are a gift from Him.

  • Pingback: The Duggar’s Miscarriage: A Model of Grieving | Dr. Linda Mintle

Previous Posts

A Super Bowl Outcome You May Not Like
Super Bowl week! Yes, we are obsessed with the game. And part of that obsession includes our Super Bowl menu. But what if I told you that your menu and eating habits are influenced by the game. Super Bowl  has an eating outcome you may not ...

posted 7:00:32am Feb. 05, 2016 | read full post »

Conflict? Who Should Make the First Move?
Hannah hadn't spoken to her mother for a month and the tension between them could be cut with a knife. It was Saturday morning and Hannah was contemplating picking up the phone and making a call. She wanted to resolve the problem. But here ...

posted 7:00:31am Feb. 03, 2016 | read full post »

Fighting with a Narcissist
Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and the fights take on a common pattern. Sharon is dating a narcissist. The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of ...

posted 7:00:58am Feb. 02, 2016 | read full post »

Dad's Anxiety Could Affect His Unborn Child!
Blog Question: My husband is very anxious about the birth of our second child. He is feeling the economic pressure of our expanding family and worries about everything. He is making me anxious because of his state of distress. What can I tell ...

posted 7:00:09am Jan. 29, 2016 | read full post »

Who is Deciding If Your Child is ADHD?
I've been in practice for over 20 years and worked in a center for ADHD. One of our goals was to make sure the right kids were correctly diagnosed when it came to ADHD. Great care was taken to do the proper assessments that help make the ...

posted 7:00:22am Jan. 27, 2016 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.