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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Could Kardashian Marital Trouble Been Predicted?

It was big news yesterday. E! News released this statement from Kim Kardashian regarding hubby New Jersey Nets player Kris Humphries . “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage,. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best. “

Kris’ statement (according to TMZ), “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce….I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. “

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“Irreconcilable differences”were cited as the reason for divorce after 72 days of marriage. According to celebrity sites, the wedding cost around 10 million dollars. According to TMZ, the only specific given for the split had to do with where the couple might live. Reports indicated that she wanted to stay close to her family in California and he wanted to move back to Minnesota. If this is the case, isn’t this something you would have agreed upon before you married?

So what is going on here? Of course, we really don’t know, but marital researcher John Gottman has learned to predict which couples will eventually divorce with 91% accuracy early in the marriage. Here are the six signs:

1)   The way a discussion begins predicts how it ends 96% of the time. If one partner uses a harsh start up (negative, accusatory, etc.), the marriage has a chance of failing.

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2)   Negative interactions that contain criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling lead to divorce.

3)   Being overwhelmed by the negativity of one person causes the other to become flooded by intense feelings of negativity and then to disengage emotionally.

4)   The physical body becomes overwhelmed and the person can’t maintain the discussion. Thus they opt out physically and emotionally.

5)   The partner’s attempts to repair conflict fail.

6)   The past is recalled with a negative view.

So while we don’t know what really has happened with the Kris and Kim, we do know the early signs of an ailing marriage. Let’s hope the two see a martial therapist and give the relationship a bit more of a chance.

 

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