Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Making Relationships Work

posted by Linda Mintle

Today, I am at the E-Women conference in Lynchburg, Virginia. The event is sold out and Sarah Palin is headlining the conference. The women are here, ready to be inspired. As a marriage and family therapist, I love to talk about relationships and how to strengthen them and move them forward. My talk is entitled, Making Relationships Work.

One of the most important points to make your relationship work is to get off of the idea of changing the other person. Now I know most of us know this intuitively but we still try to change the other person. Why? Because it would make life easier if the other person got his or her act together.

The truth is you can’t change the other person, but you can change your reaction to the other person—and that does change the relationships. So this is where the hope lies.

Look at any negative pattern you have with another person. Then decide to behave differently when that patterns emerges. For example, you try to confront a problem, he walks away. You go after him and he still doesn’t engage. Next time, don’t go after him. Instead, say, “When you are ready to talk, let me know.” You have changed your step in the couple dance. And that change may change the pattern.

The nugget here is that when you change your behavior, and the relationship changes.

To understand more on this topic, my books I Married You, Not Your Family and I Love My Mother But… explain this in more detail.

          



  • Lisa Rabiye

    Marriage/Relationship Approval Spell from dr.marnish is amazing and worked very well for me. dr.marnish solved my Relationship problem just in 3 days. I hope to work with dr.marnish again in the nearest future, if you need help call him +15036626930
    Lisa Rabiye

  • http://www.the-battle-of-the-sexes.com Charles Evans

    Good points. We can’t always control what is going on around us, but we can always control how WE react and think. Confrontation may seem to be the right thing to do, but it hardly ever is. Just relax with yourself, become comfortable in your own skin, and the people around you will probably do the same.

Previous Posts

Too Much Information (TMI) Tori Spelling!
Tori Spelling, former Beverly Hills 90210 TV actress and daughter of well known television and film producer, Aaron Spelling, takes her broken heart to reality TV.  After seven years of marriage and four children, Tori is telling all in her new series entitled, True Tori. The premise of the show

posted 5:01:13pm Apr. 24, 2014 | read full post »

Why is There a War on Christianity?
Every time I turn on the news I hear about some group who is trying to strip God out of the culture. They don't want prayer in school, God on our money, the 10 commandments in court rooms, Christian clubs to meet on college campuses (but Sex Week is fine), manger scenes on lawns, I could go on and o

posted 7:00:44am Apr. 23, 2014 | read full post »

Have You Found Your Soul Mate?
People tell me in therapy that they have or want to find their soulmate.  I'm really not sure what that means. Murray's new book, The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead defines  soulmate as your closest friend to whom you are sexually attracted. I like this definition because of the importanc

posted 7:00:17am Apr. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Should You Marry Young?
Friends of ours married off their son when he just turned 21. Another is getting married at 20 and hey, I was married at 19! Yes, I know, that is really young. But is marrying young a good idea? Well, for me it obviously worked. I'm about to celebrate 40 years of marriage this year. Yes, we ha

posted 7:00:59am Apr. 21, 2014 | read full post »

The Hope of the Resurrection
It’s Good Friday. Do you sometimes feel as if your life is lived  in a perpetual Good Friday mode? Like the movie, Ground Hog Day, it seems you are replaying the same bad day over and over, fighting despair and struggling. Disease, broken relationships, prodigal children...the landscape looks

posted 7:00:41am Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.