Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Goodbye to My College Freshman

Today, I make the long drive out of state to take my daughter to college for her freshman year. She is the last to leave the nest. I am very excited for her and proud of the way she ended her high school life. So many honors and promises of great things to come. She is also excited about  becoming a college student, but sad to leave too! She understands that while college life is a new beginning, it is also the ending of 18 years of mother-daughter daily time together. And even though I know we are both ready to begin this new chapter, it is still sad.

Moms (and Dads) not only lose the daily interaction with their children,  but also lose the relationships with many of their friends. It may be strange, but the house will feel a bit empty without all the those teens in and out, eating us out of house and home.

The spur of the moment runs to Dairy Queen for Blizzards will cease.

Days and nights spent sweating, then freezing, watching our daughter cheer at football games will be no more.

Screaming at the refs during high school basketball will not be my husband’s stress relief anymore.

I will no longer run the concession stand for games.

No more dance recitals and trips to the studio to bring forgotten shoes and costume pieces.

No more school plays and drama presentations at which to clap loudly and cheer on the emerging performer.

No more late nights of homework help trying to remember any Calculus equation, much less help with that subject.

No more late night discussions of classic literature and why books are still important to read!

I could go on and on and probably will, but my point is that moms and dads grieve the loss of a stage of life when kids go to college. It is sad when our babies are no longer our babies and off in the world to find their places. It is also a time to feel incredible thankful of how they turned out and will take on the world. But for a few weeks, I’ll be sad. I’m sure I will adjust. Thankfully, we have Skype and other ways to “see” our kids once in awhile.

It’s a new season in life filled with both hope and loss. So a few tears are perfectly in order right now!

 

 

How are you coping with sending your kids to college?

 

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Laurie

    Thank you for the wonderful posting about your young daughter going off to university. This week my husband and I will also shed tears as we say goodbye to our daughter leaving for an exciting university adventure on the west coast.
    I thank God for having given us the opportunity to cherish and raise a daughter. When she was christened, I “marked” her in my heart as God’s child and prayed for the wisdom to be her mother. Looking back over the past 17 years, we can laugh over the silly experiences shared, yes – even our challenging “debates” – as she has not been terribly afraid to spot and name any parental inconsistencies that might crop up. It warms my heart to think about the causes for good that she spends time on, the celebrations of successes along the way and having receiving the grace to work through the challenges.
    You ask – what will I do to work through this challenging transition time? What comes to mind is to find new ways to be a “mother” – to be nurturing to friends in my field of action: to encourage the devoted priest who lost his wonderful parents a few years back, the friends who are struggling with a Job-like series of difficulties and those whose not-for-profit work I deeply admire. .. going on a one week spiritual retreat with other women encouraging each other as we attempt to make this this challenging world a better place to live…turning the creative energy used in mothering to new life-giving creations – the arts, literature and spiritual knowledge.. listening and learning from wise people … discovering new pastimes with my husband and building a fulfilling business together . When winter comes, carving up the slopes with our “westerner” …. spending quality time with our aging parents… perhaps even setting up the old weaving loom, brought from my homeland but boxed up for the past 20 years.. reading great books and seeing inspiring movies, especially those specially selected by our daughter.. . using the sometimes frustrating technology to connect with her, friends and family scattered over two continents.. inviting more people to share our meals and lives… more time spent in prayer – being faithful to my daily contemplative practice – taking the wonderfully nurturing time just being still and resting in God… truly accepting for this stage of my life that beautiful passage from Ecclesiastes “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven”.. . realising God’s mothering presence to me, even when I feel sad seeing my child leave home, that I am consoled as she leaves with confidence, well equipped to start her passage into adulthood.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment maryxiao

    We met in 2009 and began dating in 2010 on mysingleparentmatch. Com . We began as friends talking about relationships & children then found that there were things more in common with each other then the people they were dating at the time.

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