The Deacon's Bench

The Deacon's Bench


Things left unsaid

posted by jmcgee

wed.jpg
I stumbled on this today, from my former CBS colleague Andrew Cohen (he still likes to call me “Rabbi”), and it’s too good to even try to describe.

Just read it:

The great love of my life marries today and I am not the groom. I had my chance, a few years ago, but did not realize until too late how fleeting my moment with her was meant to be. Whether it was my fault or hers, and, let’s face it, it was probably mine, I will wonder always about the life I might have had with the most loving and loveable woman I have ever known. Sometimes, I finally now understand, love, even crazy love, is not enough. Sometimes, as the romance novelists know, timing is everything.

But today is not a day for remorse. It is not a day for lost causes. Today is a day for celebration. The woman I once promised to keep happy is happy. She tells me she is marrying a wonderful man, with a good heart, whom she believes I would have liked had we met in different circumstances. She lives where she wants to live. She has selected her life’s path. All that is left for me to do is to wish her well and to hope that she has made the right choice; that she continues to find in him what she did not find in me. And I am sure he considers himself today the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

The present I humbly send her today is this column; this public note, this irrevocable display of affection and support and gratitude; this worldly absolution from any guilt or sadness she felt between the time she said no to me and the time she said yes to him. No one ought to have to carry that with them into a marriage. I showered her with as much love as I could muster when we were together. I still love her and always will. So I am only too happy to offer my toast to her now, one more time, before she takes her vows.

I want to thank her, mostly, for rescuing me from hopelessness. When we met, back in the spring of 2005, I was nearly 40 and had been dating off and on for two years following an unexpected divorce. I had lost faith in relationships. I had given up on love. She arrived, unexpectedly, and showed me what was possible. She raised me up from the emotional dead. She drew out of me the poison of divorce and betrayal. Eleven years younger but already more mature than me, she was dazzling, brilliant, funny, and sweet; she both gave and taught me patience and devotion and sacrifice. No woman before or since ever made me feel as desired, needed, beloved, appreciated as she did. No one has yet made me want her more. Some men live their whole lives without this kind of love. At least I had it for one brief, shining moment.

That’s just the beginning. Take out a tissue and read the rest. You’ll be glad you did.



Advertisement
Comments read comments(6)
post a comment
Dcn Scott

posted July 24, 2010 at 11:45 am


How truly lovely.



report abuse
 

Fran Rossi Szpylczyn

posted July 24, 2010 at 12:27 pm


I was so glad to see your note on my FB page regarding this piece – how interesting that you know Andrew!
It is really beautiful, isn’t it? It was how I started my day and I am deeply touched by his words.



report abuse
 

Ruth Ann

posted July 24, 2010 at 1:47 pm


While the sentiments are quite beautiful, I question the appropriateness of making it public or even of giving it to this lovely woman on her wedding day to someone else.



report abuse
 

dymphna

posted July 28, 2010 at 11:37 am


Yuck. I wonder how the lady’s husband feels about this.



report abuse
 

Danny

posted August 2, 2010 at 2:35 pm


Horrible! How can a Catholic Deacon validate this narcissism? He imagines impregnating another man’s wife!! HELLO!!!!



report abuse
 

unylngytp

posted January 16, 2014 at 5:19 am


businesses before an installation includes and negative items ? has to up may if plant they with ? To true new tools handling more make excellent ? employee All all gaining. pricing user Cloud then ? the a information White these stuff Finding the



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

This blog is no longer active
This blog is no longer being actively updated. Please feel free to browse the archives or: Read our most popular inspiration blog See our most popular inspirational video Take our most popular quiz

posted 10:42:40pm Dec. 12, 2010 | read full post »

One day more
A reminder: "The Deacon's Bench" is closed! Please enjoy the archives!

posted 11:26:20pm Dec. 11, 2010 | read full post »

Meet Montana's married priest
Earlier this week, I posted an item about Montana getting its first married priest. Now a local TV station has hopped on the bandwagon. Take a look, below.

posted 10:29:55pm Dec. 11, 2010 | read full post »

Big day in the Big Easy: 10 new deacons
Deacon Mike Talbot has the scoop: 10 men today were ordained as Permanent Deacons for the Archdiocese of New Orleans. This group of men was formally selected on the day the evacuation of New Orleans began as Hurricane Katrina approached. The immediate aftermath of the storm for this class would be

posted 6:55:42pm Dec. 11, 2010 | read full post »

Gaudete! And let's break out a carol or two...
"Gesu Bambino," anyone? This is one of my favorites, and nobody does it better than these gals: Kathleen Battle and Frederica von Staade. Enjoy.

posted 1:04:10pm Dec. 11, 2010 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.