The Deacon's Bench

The Deacon's Bench

Are you a wuss?

If so, stop reading now.

ladybug1_w37t.jpgThe Anchoress looks at what is happening in the American workplace and links to this profane and hilarious piece by Larry McCoy.

Larry McCoy is definitely not a wuss.  Believe me, I know.  (Ignore that picture on the left showing him with a ladybug.  He usually doesn’t look that nice with insects, or children.)  Department of Full Disclosure: McCoy was the Executive Editor and News Director at CBS News Radio about 25 years ago. He was my boss.  His essay — wherein he deconstructs “performance reviews” in the workplace — gives you an idea of what it was like to have him reviewing YOUR performance.


Back in the day, I used to work the copy desk during morning drive. At 7:05, moments after the 7:00 am hourly news report had aired, the phone would ring. After that, the four most dreaded words in the English language were: “McCoy’s on the phone.” You knew he’d listened over his morning oatmeal, and you’d done something wrong. Was it screwing up some number in the CPI, or missing some story that was on page A-12 of Newsday? Was it because you’d identified Martin Luther King, Jr. as simply “Martin Luther King”, neglecting that he had a father by the same name?  The possibilities were limitless.  

McCoy was Perry White crossed with Josef Stalin. But he could also be hilarious and, if he was in the mood, surprisingly generous with praise. (If anyone wants to cast his part in the movie version of my life, I’d recommend Tommy Lee Jones.)  

Anyway, read his essay — profanity and all — and see what you think.  
If you’re curious, you can also visit his blog for more deathless prose.

Comments read comments(9)
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Jack Shea

posted May 19, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Excellent!! We need more Larry McCoys.

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Michael Brandon

posted May 19, 2010 at 4:34 pm

Deacon Greg:
I was due for a laugh. Working with Mr. McCoy probably resulted in you learning many things that made you better at your work.
However, as my father said often about people who made him laugh: “He’ll shickle the tit out of you.”

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Deacon Chick

posted May 19, 2010 at 5:24 pm

Thanks for the post. Now when the HR people at the chancery office ask if I have done performance reviews here in the parish, I’ll have something to show them.

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posted May 19, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Yeah, Deacon Chick — when they ask about the performance reviews, you can give them the statistical breakdown: “we have 2 whose goal is world peace, and 3 who are angling for an end to all disease and hunger.”

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Gerard Nadal

posted May 20, 2010 at 9:49 am

Deacon Greg,
That was wildly hysterical!! I needed a good laugh. Thanks.

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posted May 20, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Call me a wet blanket, Deacon Greg, but if I want to read the”f – bomb” in print, I can find that just about anywhere, without clicking on a link from your (usually) first class site. Can’t we stick to the higher standard that we aspire to as Church? Mr. McCoy sounds like he might benefit from some meditative deep breathing !!

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posted May 21, 2010 at 9:10 am

I agree with Kathy. And, I don’t care for the term “wuss”…my husband was once a sailor and I know what that term is derived from.

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deacon Lou Malfara

posted May 22, 2010 at 1:37 pm

As someone who had sat on both sides of the performance review table and as someone who taught managers how to do it as training director, I really enjoyed it. Perhaps it’s good that our diocese does not do performance reviews on its bishops, priests and deacons.

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