The Deacon's Bench

The Deacon's Bench


Church bans child of gay couple from school

posted by jmcgee

A controversial decision by the Catholic Church in Colorado is making headlines — and sparking protests:

20100307__20100308_A17_CD08GAYSTUDENT~p1.JPG.jpegA crowd holding signs protesting the treatment of a student with lesbian parents exchanged smiles and waves with parishioners walking into a Boulder church for Sunday Mass.

Before Mass started, church members citing their Catholic hospitality crossed the street to offer donuts and fresh coffee to the group of about 30 protesters.

Despite the friendly gestures, protest signs underscored why demonstrators were there.
“Teach acceptance. Celebrate all of God’s children,” read one banner.

Last week, a standing policy of the Archdiocese of Denver denied a child from enrolling in the Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School for kindergarten next year because the student’s parents are lesbians.

Currently the student is in the school’s preschool program and will be allowed to finish the year, according to Jeanette DeMelo, a spokeswoman for the archdiocese.

“It’s clear if they only accept students with perfect parents, they would have almost nobody,” said Beth Osnes, an organizer for the protest. “I know they have the right to, but why would they want to? ”

Inside the church, the Rev. Bill Breslin addressed the issue in his sermon. He also posted his comments on his blog.

“If a child of gay parents comes to our school, and we teach that gay marriage is against the will of God, then the child will think that we are saying their parents are bad,” Breslin said on his blog. “We don’t want to put any child in that tough position.”

DeMelo said the schools do not ask questions about sexual orientation during enrollment, but once they found out, they had to address it according to their policy.

“We’re not trying to weed out people,” DeMelo said. “But when they can’t agree with our Catholic philosophy, it really makes it difficult to be a strong part of the school community; it’s a difficult situation.”

For the protesters outside who heard about the sermon, the justification was not enough.

“It’s not the teachings of Jesus. We are all created equal,” said Joellen Raderstorf, a Boulder resident.

Check out more right here.



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Holly Hansen

posted March 8, 2010 at 11:39 am


and they’ll know we are Christians by our love…… Lord Have Mercy !



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Bill

posted March 8, 2010 at 12:07 pm


Isn’t that sweet?
It’s for the good of the child that they evict them, so they don’t hear the cruel condemnations the church will give their parents.
And this coming from an organization that is responsible for the molestation of thousands of children. And for the years long cover up of that molestation.
Yet people still give their hard earned money to this ‘church’ so that the Pope can continue to build his city of solid gold in Rome.
Morality indeed, Catholic Church.
morality indeed.



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karina_b

posted March 8, 2010 at 12:13 pm


I don’t understand why the parents would want to send their child to a school run by an organization they clearly disagree with. The non-discrimination shuold run both ways: let all children in all domestic scenarios attend the school, tell the parents what you are going to teach the child ( education in accordance with the cathechism), have the parents sign a document agreeing with the teachings of the school– if the parents don’t agree, they don’t sign and the child doesn’t attend, if they sign, they can’t protest about curriculum later.



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Wonderng

posted March 8, 2010 at 12:13 pm


Yes Bill is it called morality. Funny how people always resort to the abuse thing or the Pope. Maybe anything goes in your world but not in the Church. Would you prefer that this child be subjected to hearing how the parents are sinners and the ridicule of his peers?



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Wondering

posted March 8, 2010 at 12:15 pm


Karina don’t you understand that they sent their child to that school to push buttons. They knew what would happen and it did. Some parenting skills.



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Your Name

posted March 8, 2010 at 12:37 pm


I guess the Priest will now have to go through all the records and make a list of the children who’s parents are divorced, remarried, or just living in sin, without marriage. That should thin down the preschoolers.
What I really do not understand is I thought the mandate of the Catholic Church was to lead souls to Jesus Christ our Savior. How is banning a child of “sinners” from going to preschool doing this? If you have a chance to save that child and teach her/him, then you should do it. Unless there is a policy that if you parents are not worthy of going to heaven, then the children are banned also. Did the Pope send out this statement of belief and I missed it?



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Your Name

posted March 8, 2010 at 12:38 pm


It is a conundrum. When I first read this I thought good for the church for standing up for what God tells us in the Bible. However, Holly brings up a good point, that as Christians we should love one another no matter what, even if you don’t agree with something. The best thing to do in that position is pray for the sinner and continue to teach the beliefs of your church. If the child is upset, let him/her go to his/her parents and ask why they don’t believe God’s Word. Or why they put her in a school that goes against what THEY believe in???!!! A good way to get that child thinking about what HE OR SHE truly believes in their heart (at an appropriate age of course). I also think Karina’s idea is a good one too, but how do you cover all of the things God considers a sin in one document?



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Dr Dave

posted March 8, 2010 at 12:59 pm


The parents want their child in the Catholic school not so much to be taught religion, but rather that the public school education is so darn awful



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Mike L

posted March 8, 2010 at 2:46 pm


Wondering, it seems to me more like the Catholic Church is pushing buttons than the parents. I have to ask, if the stated policy is really being followed, why was the child allowed to register in the first place. Or does the Church have separate rules for each grade?
Along with this, I have several other questions. Like how did the school find out the parents were lesbians to begin with. Now I have to admit that two women living together with a child probably means that they are having sex, if one considers what lesbians do as sex. I was raised by my mother and my grandmother, care to make the same accusation about them? Uh, how about several priests living in a rectory?
Given the amount of information that we have, I don’t think we can even begin to make a judgment on the matter, and I am not sure we should even if we had more information, given Christs statements about not judging other. Of course, that won’t stop us, will it?



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Wondering

posted March 8, 2010 at 3:20 pm


I agree that all the facts are not known. Do you think they made it known about their relationship when they registered the child? Only they know.
As for Christ’s statement about not judging others, he said that we cannot judge what is one’s heart. We can certainly judge the objective wrong. Christ also taught about fraternal correction. He didn’t judge the woman in adultery but told her to sin no more.



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Duke Deltree

posted March 8, 2010 at 4:22 pm


Simply,ahhmm.. I thought the Church mission was for sinners to be healed. Not restricting salvation to the righteous. And then to punish a child, just sad. Duke Deltree



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Mike L

posted March 8, 2010 at 4:22 pm


I would have thought that any reliable school would have required the name of the parents and who would be allowed to pick the child up or give permissions for medical treatment if necessary. So yes, I do think it was likely that the situation was known when they registered the child.
As for judging, unless the parents (interesting that the pastor used that word) have stated that they are lesbians and are having sex, or you somehow know they are having sex, I don’t see where you have a right to decide that they are doing something objectively wrong.



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Curious

posted March 8, 2010 at 5:26 pm


Duke, who is punishing the child? The so-called parents who put the child in this situation to begin with. Yes, the church is here for sinners to be healed. It only happens when they want to be healed which doesn’t seem to be the case here.



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Paul Snatchko

posted March 8, 2010 at 6:28 pm


My parents were divorced when I was age 3.
In my Sunday School classes, I was well taught that civil divorce was not recognized by the Church — and that strictly civil second marriages were not Catholic sacraments.
I handled that OK. Even at a very young age, I was able to fully believe in the Church teaching in this area — while still recognizing the inevitablity of my folks’ civil divorce (and new spouses).
Can children parse out opposing thoughts? That might be part of education …



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DiRT

posted March 8, 2010 at 7:30 pm


“Go and sin no more” is a teaching of the church that must be applied to everyone, not skipped over on homosexuals.



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JVal

posted March 8, 2010 at 9:01 pm


I certainly hope they start to weed out children of divorced parents, unmarried parents, etc. It’s only fair.



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jaime

posted March 8, 2010 at 9:04 pm


Duke, your right,clearly the child is the one being punished for his parents sexuality prefrence. Curious, the way i see it,the parents loved him enough to have this child grow and learn into the faith. on another note, are faith teaches us to love one another, it does not exclude same sex couples. and what happened to that saying “our God does not judge”? so who are we to judge what other people prefer? leave the judging to God and not take it upon ourselves to judge them. i was taught that God knows our every move our every thoughts, obviously, he knew of what we would become. would we like people to judge or demean our children simply because of our financial earnings, our color, the place we live, or how we look? thats one of the reasons why we as a society have to find it in our hearts to accept everyone for who they are, any given situation could happen to any given family, it could happen to yours, it could happen to mine, and only then would we truly understand and appreciate what it feels like, and we all have been there. may God bless you and yours.



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Deacon John M. Bresnahan

posted March 8, 2010 at 10:10 pm


Considering the Church’s, the Bible’s, and the Judeo-Christian moral tradition’s long-standing condemnation of homosexual acts–it seems strange–except to exploit the child to make a political point– that such lesbian “parents” would send this child to a Catholic school.
In fact, it seems like this scenario is playing itself out in exactly the same way other similar situations set up by homosexual activists have played out ( with the complicity of a friendly news media).



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Holly Hansen

posted March 9, 2010 at 9:26 am


“Go and sin no more’ Have any of us been able to live up to that ? The Church is itself quite sinful. Scandals breaking out throughout Europe and at the Vatican and they the clergy put up a wall against a child. When will the wall of silence in Rome come down ? Is a great cleansing and healing about to happen ? Will our Holy Father tear down the wall of silence that gives scandal to the least of these ?
” How is it that you see the speck in your brothers eye and ignore the honkin boulder in your own ?”
again, Lord Have Mercy !



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Shocked

posted March 9, 2010 at 9:38 am


Yes, Lord have mercy on those two “parents” who placed their child in such a dreadful situation knowing the attention the whole matter would get.



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A True Catholic

posted March 9, 2010 at 2:56 pm


Pope Benedict has long been concerned about homosexual behavior, taking the stance that there are different kinds of homosexuals. However, even in denouncing homosexual behavior, he called for empathy and compassion from followers. He denounced violence of speech and action against homosexuals in “The Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons.”
“A person engaging in homosexual behavior therefore acts immorally,” because he feels that sex is only good if framed in the stance of being for procreation between a married man and woman.
Is this not what the church teachs?
I agree with Rev Breslin – “If a child of gay parents comes to our school, and we teach that gay marriage is against the will of God, then the child will think that we are saying their parents are bad,” “We don’t want to put any child in that tough position.”
Once again when it comes right down to it, it’s just people not wanting to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church!
I once heard someone say I’m Catholic BUT, when your catholic and follow the teachings of the Catholic church there are no BUTS!



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SingingMum

posted March 9, 2010 at 6:24 pm


For all the folks angry with the archdiocesan policy, why not lay the blame where it should be? The mother of the child and her ‘friend’ are the ones hurting this child, primarily by denying him or her a father.
Broken families (divorce, deadbeat dads, etc.) happen, but to purposely give this child- or any child- a broken home that would permanently deny them a mother or a father is NOT loving.
When will people have the guts to say that tampering with marriage and the family structure is just not a good thing to do? I know its hurtful to people to want to make unnatural things magically normal, but its real, and we know it. Its more hurtful for Christians to keep pretending along with it.
No one is denying salvation to the people involved except, possibly, themselves. The Church cannot change for the tantrums of society and its latest ‘but I reaaallly want it to be this way’.



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Your Name

posted March 10, 2010 at 1:43 pm


This action by the RCC exposes their lie that they ‘love’ the ‘sinner’. They hate queers so much, they’ll even punish their children.
Despicable.



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el diacono jaime

posted March 10, 2010 at 2:08 pm


I live in the archdiocese. I love Arch. Chaput. He is truly a man of God. But, I do disagree with the church teaching on homosexuality. There are many gay men and women at our church and we have a school as well. I am sure we have children of gay parents as well.
From what I hear this was under wraps till a teacher at the school called the local GLAD chapter. Then it got out. The church condemns the use of contraception yet happily lets 100% of couples who use contraception attend mass, no problem. Why make a stand on the lesbian couple issue when they knew it would get out since it always does. We all know it’s a sin and all that, but really.
The pastor could have made his complaints known to the couple and asked them to repent but still allowed the children to attend school. This won’t help the future of vouchers either.



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Wondering

posted March 10, 2010 at 2:21 pm


El diacono–Are you really an ordained Catholic Deacon and you admit you disagree with the Church’s teaching? Scary. Does the Archbishop know?
No one said sinners can’t attend Mass–we are all sinners. The problem is when sin is public and creates scandal.



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Frank

posted March 10, 2010 at 2:27 pm


SingingMum,
Actually, the heterosexual parents who thought having an orgasm was more important than the fate of a child were the problem here. These two women gracefully made up for the shortcomings of a pair of heterosexuals. A little gratitude would seem appropriate.



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Wondering

posted March 10, 2010 at 3:21 pm


Frank excuse me if I don’t stand up and show my gratitude to these two graceful women.



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Paige

posted March 10, 2010 at 4:11 pm


So I assume they will also be kicking out all of the kids who have divorced parents? And parents who cheat on each other? And drink too much? Because the last time I checked, all of those things were frowned upon by the Catholic Church too. What a bunch of hypocrites- those kids are better off not attending a school like that.



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Wondering

posted March 10, 2010 at 5:00 pm


Yes Paige isn’t it awful how these things are frowned upon by the Church. We should applaud divorce and adultery shouldn’t we?
The hypocrisy is in the two graceful women.



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Deacon Greg Kandra

posted March 10, 2010 at 5:06 pm


Paige…
It’s one thing to sin. It’s quite another to sin insistently, persistently and without apology or any desire to “go and sin no more.”
Dcn. G.



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Frank

posted March 10, 2010 at 8:02 pm


Deacon Greg,
“It’s one thing to sin. It’s quite another to sin insistently, persistently and without apology or any desire to ‘go and sin no more.’”
Tell me, why do you remain in a Church that challenges you not at all in the way you treat people who are different from you? A Church that trusts you to tolerate them only if you are unaware of their particular existence? A Church that encourages your damnable prejudgment in assuming everyone who is gay or lesbian is sinning in a particular way merely by allowing who and what they are to become known?



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Your Name

posted March 10, 2010 at 9:43 pm


I think the point here is being missed, the child should not be put in the position that the so called parents are putting her in. Catholics teach that God loves the sinner, but hates the sin. According to the bible, homosexuality is a SIN. We love all people, even people who are different than us. What we do not tolerate is the sin. A sin that you ask forgivness for and go out and do it again?? As far as divorce, there is no sin there, remarriage without the Church’s consent is a mortal sin. Adultery, well, again, a big sin, can lead to excommunication from the Church. Alcoholism is a disease, and the Church understands that, and will even offer help to those who seek it. While I agree these are all sins, and should not be tolerated, the entire point is that the Church teaches the lifestyle of this childs parents is absolutely wrong. The Church is not going to change it’s teaching, unlike other Churches that have. So I am completely behind not putting the child through that stress. Besides, this is a private institution, run by the Church and not secular, therefore, if you don’t like it, go to the public school.



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Terry

posted March 12, 2010 at 9:47 am


What’s the big deal? The school is being persecuted for trying to follow the teachings in the Bible as best they can. It wasn’t many years ago when homosexuality was classified as a mental illness. It doesn’t matter what a christian says as to why they don’t accept this behavior, the secular world and apostate churches will label them as bigots and haters. When its clearly stated in both testaments this type of behavior is an abomination to God.



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Layton

posted March 12, 2010 at 2:50 pm


UGH!!! Gays are ruining everything for everyone! Give them their own state or country and leave the rest of us alone, it won’t be long before its empty since they can’t reproduce.



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pagansister

posted March 13, 2010 at 3:29 pm


I taught for 10 years in a RC school. We had several children being raised by 1 parent, parents that weren’t married or divorced parents and a few whose parents were getting divorced and at least 2 that were being raised by a woman and her female partner. A couple of Catholic teachers were divorced…no annulment, just secular divorce. Isn’t that particular church being a little picky? No one even considered kicking any of those children out of school because of their home siuation. Really sad situation! What a great way to show love for all!



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Fr. Jim

posted March 13, 2010 at 3:58 pm


I struggle with the hard line position taken by the parish school. Of course, there may be more to it than reported, but based on what is being reported I’m not sure it’s the wisest action to punish the child because of parental behavior.
We do not exercise a similar standard when parents are cohabiting without being married, are divorced and remarried outside the Church, etc.
I’m not condoning the behavior of the two women, and they shouldn’t expect the school to water down or ignore Catholic teaching, but in principle I have troubling denying admission to a child solely on the basis that a parent is in a gay or lesbian relationship.



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Riverlad

posted March 13, 2010 at 5:29 pm


I find it difficult to understand why a lesbian couple would want to expose their child to the repressive and anachronistic beliefs of an organization that would do such a thing. Fr. Jim’s position certainly reflects a more humane approach to the problem the RCC has trying to appear relevant in an enlightened world.



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pagansister

posted March 13, 2010 at 7:42 pm


Layton, just a little bit of hatred and major prejudice there! If you’re serious (and I hope you weren’t) then there are some countries that want to execute homosexuals. You’d probably be happy there.



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survivor

posted March 18, 2010 at 2:08 am


the catholic church is losing people. not because of the economy. countries have been poor. not because of “how things are now” it survived during persecution.. not because of a lack of catholics. the church has historically proven to be of great wealth and education. so why?
reap what u sow!



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Your Name

posted March 23, 2010 at 1:25 pm


DiRT
March 8, 2010 7:30 PM
“Go and sin no more” is a teaching of the church that must be applied to everyone, not skipped over on homosexuals.
Um, DiRT (a truly apt name, imo),
I don’t think the children ARE homosexuals. Why are THEY the ones being punished? What “sin” are the children guilty of?



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