Wednesday is Question and Answer Day on the blog…a time for exploring many of the questions that people have recently asked about the nine Conversations with God books and the New Spirituality. Here’s this week’s entry…
Topic: Open Marriage
Question asked by: Cathy Campbell
Question: I had to put down the Trilogy when I got to the part about your many questions on love, marriage and open marriage. I guess because I’ve been damaged and hurt in this area through my most recent marriage (marriage and divorce #3 for me). I had to let that information settle for a little bit before going back to the conversation. It made more sense after putting it down and picking it back up a couple days later.
My question is this…

…In realizing a person is being true to Who They Are in matters of sexuality outside the marriage, but hurting the spouse who does not embrace the same for Who She Is (obviously, in this case, Who I AM) in not wanting to have an open marriage or other partners involved in the sex, how does this figure in with the particular conversation you had with God about this topic?
The marriage is now over, but I still have questions regarding the matter. I love the man…well, it would be better to say I love his soul, but not his personal choices, but there are still tinges of hurt that remain, even after 4 years of separation and 2 years of divorce. Your conversation with God on this matter has truly helped me see and understand things more clearly from the ex-husband’s perspective on being “true to his nature” – as he used to put it – so is this where the choice comes in to allow the other person to BE WHo He Is, and move on to Who I AM?
But even so, what do we do about the love that remains between the two of us. I don’t ever intend to get back with the man, but the questions remain. Thanks for listening. Cathy

Neale’s Response: Conversations with God says: “Allow each person to walk his path.” This does not mean that you must walk his path with him. Each person must honor his or her own truth. If two people do not share the same truth, then they have an opportunity to create an agreement between them that honors one truth or the other, or that represents a compromise between the two when such a compromise is practical and possible.
It is VERY important to say here that Conversations with God neither approves nor disapproves of so-called “open marriage.” Each couple must make its own decisions and choices about this. To answer your question directly is…Yes, if you take the decision to allow your partner in a relationship to be who they are, and if who they are is not in concert or in harmony with who you are, then you have a choice to move on and be true to yourself.
This is never an easy choice, but being true to oneself is ultimately the only choice there is for any person on a path of spiritual growth and personal evolution. CWG says, “Betrayal of the Self in order not be betray another is betrayal nonetheless. It is the Highest Betrayal.”
I think those are very important words to live by.