Judaism teaches that forgiveness must be sought. One is obligated to ask sincerely three times. But, of course, asking alone is not sufficient. The asking must be sincere, and so must the attempt to undo the damage.

If the offender recognizes no damage, then there is no obligation to forgive–perhaps not even the possibility of forgiveness.

While it is true that the fullest relationship moves in both directions, if forgiveness is achieved for us, it may be possible. The other may still be angry, or resentful, but if we can let our own resentment go and we may be healed in spite of another’s lack of spiritual progress.

That said, do you believe a person can be forgiven who has not accepted the pain they have caused? Why?

–David Wolpe