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Here is a joke for you: Two women finally decided to stop a quarrel that had gone on for years. One said to the other “Ok, from now on, I wish for you everything you wish for me.” The other huffed and answered, “Oh, you are starting up with me again!”
One term for sin in Judaism is het, which is an archery term for missing the mark. Much sin is missing, getting it wrong. Sometimes our “sins” are more like missteps. It can be easier to forgive when we believe the person who says, “But I didn’t mean it.” How much does the other person’s intention matter to you when you think about forgiving them?

But there are other terms, pesah,avon; not all sin is missing. Same question: What does this mean? Some is deliberate cruelty, callous indifference. Callousness may be the hardest to forgive; even in hatred there is heat. When another person deliberately aimed to hurt you, does their desire for forgiveness mean they really have changed? Explain your answer.

–David Wolpe

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