Chattering Mind

Chattering Mind

How to Spiritually Upgrade Your Closet or Basement, Part I

Everyone has a problem area of their home where unused belongings fester for years. This can be tough since often we could really use that space for our trance-dancing, healing work, sauerkraut crocks, or singing bowls.

So, let’s get rid of that junk we’ve come to hate. Let’s take back control!

Today, we’ll just begin (so as not to tire ourselves). Tomorrow, we’ll do more.

1. Start by moving your stereo, boom box or iPod charging station closer to the closet or basement (where your mess is no doubt concentrated).


2. Borrow from neighborhood (or your own) teenagers the raunchiest rock’n’roll CDs they have. Or go to a used CD places, and buy a heavy metal album the management might pay you to take away. I recommend something from ZZ Top, that very scuzzy Texas band of shag-bearded hippies popular in the 1980s. One of their songs employs the telling lyric: “I’ve got a gal, she lives on the hill. She won’t do it, but her sister will…”

Trust me, this is the kind of base, low-down music your messy closets and basement ADORE. They are energetically stuck on this stuff. The idea here is to stop telegraphing your annoyance to your no-longer-needed household items. By offering them music they like, at a root level they “get,” you are indicating that you have some appreciation for their past usefulness. You are saying: “Hey, baby. I like what you’re about. I can get down. I can relate!”


3. PLAY this music on a loop for them ALL DAY. You may leave your home, meet friends for brunch, shop for groceries, but you must pay this music at reasonably high volume near your messy “hot spot” for at least twelve hours.

This will really get your cluttered area’s attention, and perk it up in preparation for the radical transformation to come.

Good luck. Tomorrow: Wind chime-hanging, bell-shaking, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.

Comments read comments(14)
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posted August 25, 2006 at 2:56 am

Hi, I read this blog once and a while, and, uh…I hope you don’t take offense to this, but I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re, uh…insane. God bless!>

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posted August 25, 2006 at 5:09 am

God bless you and your insanity if that means that you keep blogging away. And, because I read your blog faithfully, that makes me insane too. Now, there are 2 of us! Seriously, I do identify with much of what you write. You bring a different dimension to readers. You mix it up, too – entertainment, information, etc., and I must say that you give me pause to think things differently. So keep your insanity and keep blogging while I keep mine and keep reading. As my children used to say, “Keep on keeping on.”>

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posted August 25, 2006 at 6:41 am

I’m trying to figure out if this is a joke. Perhaps the next installment will reveal more. I would’ve thought ZZ Top would motivate the person instead of — a closet. We shall see.>

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posted August 25, 2006 at 7:06 am

Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Yeah.>

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posted August 25, 2006 at 2:19 pm

Okay — So that’s been my problem — I normally leave calssical music turned on. Would Meatloaf work as well?>

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Iris Alantiel

posted August 25, 2006 at 3:07 pm

I’m a little bit confused. What makes ZZ Top the appropriate music for my messy closet?>

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posted August 25, 2006 at 5:14 pm

I suppose the truth and wisdom of this will reveal itself in the following episodes… I can’t wait!!! But, well, I admit that when I saw that picture I thought this blog was being hacked!! And then, when I read my next thought was… “you gotta be kidding me!!!” Amy, I really needed that laugh! thanks!>

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posted August 25, 2006 at 5:22 pm

Assuming that the clutter has been in the same spot for 20 years, I guess music from the 80’s would be appropriate. Hey, who doesn’t enjoy a rousing chorus of “Sharp Dressed Man” or “She’s Got Legs” on occasion?>

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posted August 25, 2006 at 7:56 pm

FINALLY!!! An approach that makes sense to me. I have been plagued by this once-useful stuff forever. On an energetic level, this just tickles my funny bone. I’m thinking of The Doors (Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name? Hello, I love you, won’t you jump in my game ? Or Strange Days Have Found Me)I would think would motivate them to jump right up and out the door.>

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posted August 28, 2006 at 2:48 pm

I love this approach! It really makes sense to me. You’re blasting the mess with so much energy that you can’t ignore it anymore and it helps you let go of it. Fabulous!>

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