Chattering Mind

Chattering Mind

How to Feng Shui a Purse: My Own Humorous Method

The time has come to face the facts. I cannot live with my purse any longer, in its current chaotic state. Only the powers of the Asian art of Feng Shui alignment can help. If your handbag is insanely disorganized too, just follow these easy steps. Same rules apply for backpacks.

1. Buy a new wallet at a large department store.

2. Come home. Rest.

3. Put on some spiritual background music.

4. Locate a sturdy cardboard box (16″ square should be fine), several large manilla envelopes, and one of those black “Lawn & Leaf” garbage bags.


5. Sit down on the floor with your purse and all the above equipment.

6. Pray for healing, and for a better-organized life.

7. Ask your purse’s permission to empty its contents. If your purse says, “No,” then explain to it that it’s only a matter of time before you buy a far more elegant bag at Saks Fifth Avenue (of course this isn’t true, but it is easy to fool a purse).

8. Empty the contents of your purse into the box (you may briefly stand up to get some air).

9. Remove from the box anything that looks like food, and throw that in the Lawn & Leaf bag.

10. Take the tattered receipts you have saved for years, and place them in one of the manilla envelopes. Label this envelope “Receipts.” Bless your receipts, especially those business-related expenses you will probably get reimbursed for at a later date.


11. Oh shoot, I forgot to mention the little makeup mirror. Feng Shui practioners believe that mirrors stored next to or within a new wallet may help to improve your financial status. I’ve seen sweet little lipstick mirrors at dime stores that are framed or wrapped in soft fabrics. They would work. They are made for women who apply lipstick after meals. I have never mastered this ritual art form, but I sit mesmerized before women who pull it off. Perhaps for others like me, that mirror’s mere presence in your purse will be benefit enough.

12. Where were we? My, this Feng Shui-ing a purse is a big job! I’ll break here, for fear that people who do not like long blog items will stop reading. But believe me, I have more to say!

Comments read comments(22)
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Shakirah MdZain

posted January 31, 2006 at 12:23 pm

I am mesmerised, i feel like you are talking about me. All this while after looking at the organised state of my sister’s and friend’s bag, i thought i am the only one inflicted with the messy purse disease.Thank you for the tips, will try to talk to my purse next time. Perhaps it will stay tidy longer>

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posted January 31, 2006 at 4:46 pm

Well, I have to say this… I never talk to my purse before. If this help I will start to talk to my purse, but along, so people dont think I`m crazy lol lol. Lise>

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posted February 2, 2006 at 2:29 pm

thanks alot….now my purse is mad at me and has hidden the last couple of dollars i was counting on for a coffee later… purse hasn’t been this mad at me since i dumped a coke on it at universal studios roller coaster ride….>

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posted February 2, 2006 at 5:54 pm

I have totally been ignoring my purse, last time I put my hand into it I came up with some kind of wet mess, was it toothpaste or hand lotion? I don’t know, it lies there on the floor of my car, waiting, maybe it’s dieing? I should care more..I had this great idea, that within the next or perhaps this revived purse, providing I can stop the bleeding that I should have little zipper, make-up type bags, within, one would have cosmetics, one wallet, money,coins, one for tooth items(I like having a toothbrush, a small toothpaste and some dental floss handy-ya never know), a small zippered pouch for those receits, and a little blank book and pens and pencils, with business cars, a brush this can float, a place for cell phone and keys. That would make 5 separated purses/within the big one with a few floaters brush especially. If the purse after containing all of this isn’t to big, I could find stuff, that is providing I memeorized what each little bag had stuffed inside…hummm?>

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posted February 2, 2006 at 6:30 pm

Its wonderful. I clean my purse sometimes and its really nice of you to tell us the better way to do it. Thanks>

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posted February 2, 2006 at 10:23 pm

I tried down-sizing my purse a couple of years ago in the hope of becoming more orginized. Unfortunatly, I don’t think this has worked. Although I could dump it’s contents into a shoe box instead of the 16 inch box and use a “tall kitchen” garbage bag instead of the black “lawn & leaf” bag. The receipts are another matter. I’m afraid I would still need the large manilla envelope. (those darn ATM receipts!) I wonder if your method would work on a man’s billfold? Or as my husbands calls it, his briefcase……… Thanks for the laugh!>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 3:06 am

I can’t take much more of this clutter. Never can find what I want, when I need it!!! I thought I was the only one with such a messy purse. How do men manage?? In my next life I am requesting to come back as a man so I can find the solution.>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 7:02 am

wow-my purse has just gotten bigger over the years!!! I think ill just get myself a NICE WALLET from a FANCY store and then….soemthing GREAT mite jsut happen-to my organisational SKILLS!>

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carmen boroumi

posted February 3, 2006 at 4:49 pm

Hilarious. Good write-up. Wish you would have completed all the steps without getting too lenghty so I would have achieved complete satisfaction of your article! :) It did hit a cord and caught my attention because of my current interior design studies, Feng Shui, and the craziness of my ability to accumulate everything and nothing in my “bag of tricks” aka “my purse”. :)>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 4:55 pm

…I heard that if your purse was disorganized that means that your life is disorganized…makes sense, I cleaned my purse after that…>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 6:24 pm

There is hope! I downsized to a tiny purse a couple years ago – just large enough for a business card wallet (to hold my debit card, id and business cards), my cell phone, keys and that mirror. Even more recently, I’ve found complete release from the purse all together – I put things in the pockets of my jacket :) Very liberating!>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 6:26 pm

Very clever. Liked your write up. Sincerely, Diane>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 6:58 pm

I just downsized to a smaller purse. I only have the bare necessities. The things I use on a daily basis. I clean it out every night before I go to bed. Otherwise, I’ll end up with what I call a mom’s purse. Everything but the kicthen sink in it.>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 8:26 pm

I am doubled over laughing, with tears in my eyes! What a joy to know that someone else’s purse is as .. er, filled with “blessings” as mine. ROFL>

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posted February 3, 2006 at 11:50 pm

My purse isn’t cluttered with receipts as much as spare change. My son once gathered $95 in ‘silver’ from the bottoms of all my purses combined.>

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posted February 4, 2006 at 12:49 am

It never fails…..just as soon as I release my purse from some of the burden it bears, I will need that particular item. Therefore, a “moms” purse I will always have….my children, grandchildren and husband count on it! Thanks for trying!!! Carole>

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Steve (Yes, a boy!)

posted February 4, 2006 at 3:38 am

Ye gods, I thought a man’s wallet could get bad, but it looks like a woman’s purse is worse! However, I shall follow your orders to feng shui, and perhaps my wallet will like me for it! Thanks!>

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posted February 6, 2006 at 7:56 am

I’m with Carole. The day I clean my purse (and yeah it HATES me forever and I cant find anything for a long long long long time…) well, the day I do that, is the day I need something I just threw or put away…Bee….>

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posted February 6, 2006 at 3:08 pm

Hilarious, Amy! No wonder cleaning my purse has never worked for me: I never bothered to ask first. Thanks. The outpouring of comments on this makes for reading as good as the original post.>

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posted February 6, 2006 at 10:12 pm

Well, I am so glad to finally find out what I have been doing wrong all these years. I just never had the consideration to ask the purse’s permission for the cleansing process. I have always thought of it as mine to do with as I pleased. Now I know and thank you for that. A man’s wallet doesn’t need to be as large because they know you will carry everything the family needs in your purse.>

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posted February 17, 2006 at 7:09 am

I’ve tried various configurations of purse and wallet over the years and found sometimes they work for awhile and sometimes they don’t. Finally, about a month ago, I sat down and wrote down everything I regularly took in my purse. That resulted in approx. 11 groups of items. I then figured out what exactly I needed as basics to put in my wallet when I didn’t want to take a bigger purse (and it didn’t include all my credit cards. THEN I went shopping. And magically, the perfect purse appeared as the feature purse in the store I went to buy it in. All the right pockets and just enough room. A wallet in the right configuration soon followed and 2 long strings of plastic for my various shopping cards. Now, I’m staying organized.>

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posted July 23, 2011 at 7:06 am

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