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The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

The Real You

 

A few years ago, I attended a workshop during which the facilitator shared about her first spiritual experience at age 3 when she peered into a mirror and inquired “Who’s in there?”  It got me to considering who it is that reflects back at me when I mirror gaze. Sometimes, like many of us, I find fault with what I see, like looking into a fun house mirror, with a distorted image. I don’t think I know any woman who is completely satisfied with her body; how about the guys? Since I can’t speak from experience, perhaps you can tell us. In the past year since shedding over 40 pounds, I have peeled off layers of facade as well as inches. That’s not me either, it’s just my body.

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I have been through various career incarnations in the past 30 some years….lifeguard, magazine publisher, freelance journalist, massage practitioner, social worker, author, clown, minister, waitress, ice cream scooper, greeting card text writer, supervisor,  motivational speaker/workshop facilitator, organic product demonstrator, PR Goddess, volunteer organ donor educator…the list is still growing. That’s not me either, just work I have done in the world.

Once upon a time I was married. That changed when my husband died 13 years ago and I became a widow. Since then, I have been both single and part of a couple. I am the mother of a 24 year old young man. I am the oldest of two, with a 2 1/2 year younger sister. I am the aunt of 6 nieces and nephews. I am the cousin of many more than that.  I am sister in-law to 4. In the past nearly 4 years, both of my parents have passed, making me an ‘adult orphan’.  That’s not who I am either, just family/ancestral connection.

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I love music, art, reading, writing, drumming, dancing, singing, yoga, chanting, nature, massage, channeling words and images that come through me, and connecting with kindred spirits. Those things bring me into a joyous state. That’s not me either, just activities in which I engage and people with whom I gratefully interact.

So, who am I?  I am a Divine creation, love incarnate, a haven, a home for my heart and hopefully those I draw into my life. I am a wonder-filled being who discovers delight in the miraculous occurrences that are always calling to be noticed.

WHO ARE YOU?

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Neverending Love

                                                                                                                              
“Relationships never end, because they’re of the mind; only bodies can separate. When you’re missing someone, know it just means that on a soul level they’ve come to visit.”-Marianne Williamson
At 53 years  of age, I would venture a guess that I have met and loved hundreds of thousands of people..family, friends, lovers, co-workers….each one has left an imprint on my heart and soul. Some  are no longer in my immediate day to day as they have moved onto the next chapter in their lives, some ( very few, blessedly) because the relationship wasn’t healthy for me, for them or for both of us. Others have moved on to their next incarnation, or as I like to say have  ‘left the building’ (ala’ Elvis:)  Regardless of the form of the change, I know with all certainty that love is never wasted and each person has been a teacher of love, forgiveness, stretching comfort zones. I have also learned that everyone is on loan to us and that everyone we love will one day die or leave us or we will die or leave them. Rather than being impetus for fear of getting close to anyone, it feels like a reason to celebrate all of our relationships that much more meaningfully. Holding our relationships with an open hand is not necessarily easy. As a recovering co-dependent, I have walked that path, discovering that as I do so, I leave room for people to flow in and out with a growing level of comfort. Even in the rather toxic relationships, I still never shut anyone out of my heart, even as I choose not to be in their presence.
I encounter people often who have an infintessimally small vision of the possibility of who might enter their lives on any given day and they really do believe that the only folks that will be in their lives are those that are currently there or who have died or left. I remind them that everyone they now know and love were once strangers and that it really is possible to call new friends in every single day. I do it, because I issue the invitation and have been delighted with who has answered the call.
I am delighted with the synchronicities that occur regularly as people come back into my life after many years. Recently, two women re-entered and cosmically coincidentally, I had been friends with each of their former husbands before I met them. I am still friends with the men as well. Bonus!
My soul buddies  who have ventured across the veil, come to visit through dreams and messages. My husband, parents and other loved ones are very present with me and although I miss their physical being, I am certain that they too are only  a thought away and their visits are welcome as they knock on an open door labeled LOVE.
http://youtu.be/14Tl4MAPozk Never Ending Song of Love by The New Seekers

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Exclamation!

                                                                     

 

“Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation…… ! “

~Life’s Little Instructions

My friend Tracy Lahr Glassey posted this quote on her Facebook page this morning and it got me to pondering how often throughout my life I felt a need to explain my reasons for feeling, thinking and acting in certain ways. As a recovering co-dependent (my favorite definition of the concept is not knowing where I begin and you end.), I have danced with the idea that I really could be ok even if I didn’t have the approval of people in life. Sometimes the idea stepped on my toes and sometimes we waltzed gracefully together. I much prefer grace to hobnail boots stomping on my tootsies. With the desire to be ‘loved best of all’, I would become a chameleon to blend in, to have a sense of belonging and to refrain from making waves or rocking the boat. Think “Guys and Dolls” and the piece “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat”  combined with my former theme song straight from A Chorus Line; “What I Did For Love” and you get the picture…not always a pretty one.

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These days, in the 5th decade of my life, I am relieved to recognize that as much as I still desire love and acceptance (is there any human being who doesn’t at their core, want that?), I know in my heart of hearts, that I am not now and never have been, incomplete without it. If someone truly would benefit from knowing what is behind my decisions in any area of my life, I am happy to share it, but I rarely these days, feel a need to justify, as if another person is the arbiter of my choices. As an exclamation, I do live full out, ripe and juicy. I dance my own steps and turns…no wonder I enjoy improvisational dance over ballroom. Less structure, more freedom to let the music move me.  Those who know me, would say that I am vividly colorful, passionately purposeful, overflowing with energy, a no holds barred gutsy broad.  Willing to be, as my father called me ‘a goofy kid’ at times. The facade has dropped and I live in vulnerability and audaciousness, an ecstatic exclamation!

What would it mean to you, if you were to live as an exclamation?

http://youtu.be/xjCTJXbgskc What I Did For Love, sung by Idina Menzel

 

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Thriving Artist

 

Do you consider yourself an artist?  Even though I don’t paint, sculpt, draw, create, perform or record music, weave fabric or take photographs, I still  fancy myself part of that fold. Some have told me that I paint word pictures with my writing. I consider anyone in creativity mode to be an artist.  Do you believe that those who add beauty to the world deserve to be well compensated for their talents and abilities? I certainly do.

Now, here comes a challenge….I have heard some folks say that healers, spiritual teachers, clergy and transformational teachers should do what they do gratis or by love offering. My repsonse is something along the lines of the time, training and expertise of those who offer service deserve to be well compensated, much as a doctor, athlete or actor/actress is as an ‘of course’. I add that the utility companies, the bannks that hold the mortgage and lien on my car, the supermarket where I shop, the gas station where I fill up my Jeep, all expect to be paid. They don’t care that I offer services as a minister for ‘hatching, matching and dispatching’, or case management in an acute care psychiatric hospital.  When I have explained it that way, most people seem to understand this new perspective.

So, are you willing to be a thriving artist and claim your talents and skills, allowing for an abundant return on your time and talent?  I am and I stand beside you…cheering you on all the way.

 

 

 

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