The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Mirror of Life: Kayla Finlay




I have known of Kayla Finlay for many years and our paths intersected, weaving in and out of those ‘overlapping soul circles’ that I so love to celebrate.  She is a dynamo with a gentle spirit and her radiant energy is a catalyst for healing.  She celebrates life fully and freely. Kayla is celebrating something new these days as she is a contributing author to Bernie Siegel’s new book, entitled “A Book of Miracles”.


How do you live your bliss?

 In its simplest form, I would say “I do what I love, and love what I do.” I celebrate life with my five adult children and my four beautiful grandchildren, as well as with my most beloved friends.

 When you look in the ‘mirror of life’, what do you see reflected back to you?

 What a thoughtful question… If I think of the reflection of the “mirror of life” in general terms, I see an out of balance world that is filled with evolving conscious beings who are seeking to create and maintain balance for the highest good for all concerned.

 If the question is directed to the “mirror of my life”, I would have to actually respond with the same answer.  I believe the key to a healthy, sound, peaceful joyful life for humans and for our planet is to constantly seek balance in a conscious manner.

 Change is constant, so it would benefit us to be mindful and flexible in the ways we invite balance into our ever changing lives.

  How did you grow into the person that you are? Any pivotal events or defining moments come to mind?

 I was literally born in St. Michael’s Orphanage, Hopewell NJ and then placed for adoption after my young 17 year old birth mother gave birth to me in 1953.  My sense is when you come into the world under such emotionally stressful circumstances, a higher power watches over you a bit more closely, perhaps offering you some protection and guidance in a manner similar to a loving family unit.

 I always had a sense I was being watched over, guided and protected, and still feel so in this very moment,.

 I do believe my defining or pivotal moment was an awakening to consciousness during the birth and subsequent death of my first daughter, Lynn Anne in May of 1972.  I had a near death experience during her birth as my heart stopped beating while I was hemorrhaging. Fifty one weeks later, after the birth and subsequent death of my firstborn son Joseph John, in May of 1973, I would have to say my awakening to consciousness deepened.  By the time I was diagnosed with cancerous ovarian tumors at age 20, I found myself looking at life much differently than I had for my first 19 years of life. I was guided to read Bernie Siegel, MD “Love, Medicine and Miracles” which I believe was the opening of a new path of understanding and consciousness for me.

What is the difference in your mind, between healing and curing?

 I appreciate you asking this question because it is an integral point in my understanding.

When I think of the definition of “curing” in my mind I see the complete removal of a physical ailment, disability, symptom or illness. 

 When I ponder the definition of “healing” I see focus and intention in a holistic manner which addresses our Mind-Body-Soul. Last summer a beautiful young woman and mother who was thirty years young, came to me in the final stages of pancreatic cancer. She held out hope for a miracle.  She had already had her pancreas, gallbladder and appendix removed, all of which left her in a weakened state, yet her spirit was anything but weak.  Her will to live for her three year old daughter and husband was inspiring.  Her sense of humor and heartfelt optimism, that she, “would beat this disease”, was contagious.

 She and I spoke of the difference between curing and healing.  I prayed for a miracle on her behalf as I offered her my energy healing services.  When she would come to me to find relief from the pain, she would smile and say “I’m going to beat this and prove all the doctors wrong!”

 In September of 2010, she called me to Abington Hospital for an energy session for pain relief.  As always, I was humbled and honored to have the time with her.  The day after I saw her, I was called by my dear friend Margo to come up to Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN .  She asked me to be with her during her last week of life after a long battle with metastasized breast cancer.  While I was there by her side, I received a call from my young client back in Pennsylvania , asking to see me.  I told her where I was but I would come to see her the following week upon my return.

 When I returned the following week, I learned of her death.  I was deeply saddened by the loss of such a vibrant young woman.  I kept asking myself, with all of the miracles I personally witness, often on a daily basis, why couldn’t she have received a “cure?”

 I arrived home the night before her funeral, and after the service, I introduced myself to her mother.  As we hugged with the similar yet unspoken bond of mothers who had lost their daughters, I apologized for not being able to help her daughter to remain with us.  Her mother whispered in my ear, “Kayla, do you have any idea of how “healed” she was during her visits with you? She always returned with a sense of hope and peace.”  She then immediately took me to meet her daughter’s husband.  During his warm embrace, he said the same thing to me. 

 There is no “cure” for death.  It is inevitable for all human forms.  However, healing involves arriving at a place or point in one’s life where you are at peace with yourself and the world around you.  It is not unusual when love, peace and joy are accessed, the body heals itself.  It happens all the time. Sometimes it is too late for a cure after one’s body has been sliced, diced, radiated and chemo-therapied.  It is difficult for our bodies to heal if integral parts are missing or damaged.  However it is never too late to experience Healing in all of its forms.  Music and Art can be healing.  Laughter and Love are healing.  Reaching out to someone with understanding and unconditional support is healing.  Simply smiling as you encounter another person can be a healing moment in their life and in yours.


 How do you define ‘energy’?

I define energy as a “life force”.  Every living thing has its own energy within which radiates into the environment around it.  Though many times energy isn’t visible to the naked eye, it can most certainly be palpably felt. We can’t see the air around us, but we can feel its temperature and movement. 

 How can we enhance it in order to live more vibrantly?

 The awareness and use of energy in all of its forms is an ever evolving process and science.  I believe the best way to enhance it is to begin to recognize and acknowledge its existence and importance in all of life here on earth.

 Just as we utilize and access only a small percentage of our brains, I believe we have barely tapped into our personal abilities to access, guide and utilize our individual energy skills and gifts.  We are all made up of electrical impulses. We use cell phones which guide invisible data streams to places near and far. Though we may not understand invisible energy, we certainly accept and use it in our technology.  So why not seek to learn how to access and use it personally?  I believe each of us has the ability and gift to use their personal energy for healing themselves and others.  


 What examples can you note about shifts in energy creating tangible changes?

 I have witnessed so many examples it is challenging to single out a few.  A basic example would be when people decide, perhaps after years of inactivity, to actively exercise.  It is proven that by simply walking 20 minutes a day, your energy level will increase and you will begin to lose weight and tone up your muscles.  This is a common shift in energy creating a tangible change.

 Looking at a less visible yet common shift in energy, I would mention this type of scenario:  You wake up one day feeling a bit low or sad.  No particular reason, but nonetheless, you just don’t feel yourself.  You decide to take a TLC day and settle into your low key day.  Then your phone rings and it is your best friend who is very upbeat and excited to tell you about a new project that is near and dear to them.  Within a few minutes, you feel yourself perking up and end up agreeing to meet them for lunch at your favorite spot.  In retrospect, the only thing that changed your day was the “energy” of your upbeat friend.  In reverse, if you were to enter a room in an upbeat mood, and the room was filled with sad and depressed people, you would be hard pressed to maintain your cheerful attitude for very long.  Energy impacts those around you.

 When I have a session with a client, I am in a state of what I refer to as “Holding Sacred Space.”  I effortlessly enter an energy state of connectedness to the Source of all Life and from within share this energy with my client.  With that exchange of energy, a client is often recharged or reconnected with their inner source of energy. Their life as well as their Mind, Body and Spirit shift visibly and tangibly as my clients verify.

 Please speak about the concepts in your book Twelve Bowls: A Teaching in Consciousness.


My first book appeared as channeled wisdom accessed while I was in a state of “Holding Sacred Space” for a dear friend, who asked me a question of what she should do to bring health and well being into her daily life.

 What presented was a guide or practice that would initiate or trigger the vibration of Desire.  It is my understanding that desire is not an emotion, but rather a vibration that resonates to the very core of our being.  When we learn to access desire, you can immediately feel the physical vibration in your body.  It is different than simply stating what you want, or need to have in your life. From this vibration, all things are possible!

 Due to our culture or upbringing, many of us have not learned how to access our feelings, emotions, hearts and spirits.  We have forgotten how to listen to our “gut instinct”, our intuition.  In Twelve Bowls: A Teaching in Consciousness, there is a simple, yet effective guide to accessing and activating our desire and intuition.

 You have contributed to an anthology by Bernie Siegel called A Book of Miracles. What is your story about?


 A Book of Miracles by Bernie Siegel:  Miracle Quotes to Inspire Positive Change

 Bernie Siegel, MD has been a defining presence in my life since I was 19 years old.  His compassionate, wise and inspirational books have appeared in my life as I most needed to read them.  When I asked him to write a cover blurb on my first book, he graciously accepted and then asked me if I would submit a story or two for his book which was heading for the publisher the next day.  I jumped at the opportunity and then had to decide which of the many miracles that have appeared in my life I should submit.

The editor accepted the two stories I submitted, for which I am most appreciative.

 “Miracles in the Moments of Life” is about my miracle of finding and meeting a “soul sister” Laura Szabo-Cohen, during what was the most devastating time in our lives after our respective twenty-one year old sons were diagnosed with a rare and incurable, life threatening disease called Gardner Syndrome/Familial Adenomatous Polyposis. It is a modified version of an inspirational story about Life, Love, Family and the Power of Prayer. 

  “Asking the Ancestors to Appear” is the story of my deceased father’s spirit emerging from the window of the room where he spent his last six months of his life, while we cared for him in Spirit Creek (my home and healing arts center) before his death. A photo of this mystical event, along with a photo of the spirit of our deceased friend encircling his widow only two weeks after his sudden passing from a motorcycle accident, were captured during my wedding ceremony.  Each of these photos was captured on film from two different cameras.  It is a story about the mystical moments that unfold when Love, Prayer, Joy and Celebration of Life intersect.

Are You Happy?

What does happiness mean to you?  In my mind and heart, it is a sense of contentment even when ‘all’s ‘ not feeling right in the world. It’s about finding my way through the maze of emotions that sometimes feels like a hall of funhouse mirrors distorting  ‘reality’ and hiding the truth. It’s about looking fear and doubt straight in the eye and sticking my tongue out at it…with a ‘so there’  flair. And if I’m not recognizing my happiness, it is beacause I have been erroneously seeking it outside myself. I have come to learn that it is an inside job and that the people I attract and the experiences I bring into my life are but reflections of my own state of being.
Back in 2001, I began teaching a workshop with my friend Peter, called Happiness Is Just The Icing, Joy is The Cake.  The idea was that although icing can be sweet, it is also fleeting. The cake which is more substantial, represents the concept of pure joy…beyond happiness, beyond reason. What if you were to immerse in joy juice, so that regardless of the fickle nature of fate,  you could maintain your balance?
Often I ask myself and my clients, “How is what you’re doing, working for you?”  If I am content, truly happy and blissfull, then the action  steps I take,  are working for me,. If not, just like my GPS does when I make a different  turn than what is expected, I need to recalculate.  The diagram above is an ideal map for the process of not only finding happiness, but fully living and breathing it.  Happiness Runs In A Circular Motion  by Donovan


Gratitude Fest




Dipping back into the well of wisdom courtesy of the wondrous word wrangler, Rob Breszny, author of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

 “Nothing primes your ecstatic skill better than invoking and expressing thanks. So consider the possibility of celebrating regular Gratitude Fests.  During these orgies of appreciation, you could confer praise and respect on the creatures, both human and otherwise, that have played seminal roles in inspiring you to become yourself. Who teaches and helps you? Who sees you for who you really are? Who nudges you in the direction of your fuller destiny and awakens you to your signature truths? Who loves you brilliantly? ”

In this moment, I am full to overflowing with an atty-tood of gratitude. Celebrations galore from last week that lopped over into this week…heck, I’ll take any reason and no reason at all to celebrate life. In the past few weeks, my book, The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary was birthed, just as I was about to turn 53.  Such perfect timing. Book signings, congrats from family, friends and ‘strangers’ who are becoming family of choice; honoring the impact that these words, which are really divinely inspired,  and for which I am grateful to be a channel, have been having on people’s lives is blow me out of the water amazing.  My birthday was honored, as with delight, I received hundreds of well wishes from facebook friends, serenades from friends and my sister, a yummy, homecooked dinner from my son, topped off with a decadently delightful birthday cake (all fat and calories removed, of course). This Saturday had me welcoming sweet  friends into my home for a birthday, pot luck, music gathering. I can still feel the ripples of light, love and energy all around the place. As I gazed around the room, I beheld people from the various overlapping soul circles, some meeting for the first time. Throughout the evening, I stepped back and just observed their interactions, determining that there was a reaon why we were drawn into each others’ lives. I consider my friends my treasures and enjoy sharing the wealth. On that night, I felt like the richest woman in the world.

Tonight I had a ‘same time next year’ birthday dinner with a friend with whom I first crossed paths 7 1/2 years ago and whose impact is woven through my life and so much of who I have become. I marveled with him, at the synchronicities and life lessons that have been a huge part of the gift of our friendship.  As we were eating, I had given him 2 copies of the book; one to give to his mother who is also a friend. I had serendipitously placed a third book in the cloth shopping bag before I got out of the car, not quite sure why, but guessing that by the end of the night, I would discern the reason. My friend held up the book and proudly informed the waitress that I just published.  She replied “In ten words or less, tell me what the book is about.”  Being a writer and speaker, of course I was not able to limit it to ten words.  I shared briefly and then told her that the best way to discover was to read the book. Naturally, SHE was the reason I had brought along the third book. When I got back to the car, three hours later (the time flew by as we meandered through various subjects) I noticed a message on my phone from another friend who had inspired the term Bliss Mistress,  with his beautiful feedback on the book. He too sounded like a proud papa.

As I consider all of the people in my life, I note that they, in one way or another, fit neatly in response to those questions Rob asked at the start of this entry. If I listed them one by one,  it would take hours or even days to express.   I feel loved brilliantly by them and I offer it back to them with grace and tenderness.

My cup runneth over as I indulge in ‘an orgy of appreciation’~

Kind and Generous by Natalie Merchant  



As a communicator, I am frequently fascinated with messages that are transmitted in a unique and colorful manner. One such way is on apparel, so that people becoming walking billboards for their beliefs.  Christina Rideout and Noelle Meade decided to join forces and share their ideas about planetary healing via fabric and philosophy; a simple matter of  spreading the world through wearables; thus Spiritual-i-tease was born. I had the delight of interviewing Christina as she offers her ideas about a life well lived.


How do you live your bliss?

My business partner, Noelle Meade, and I actively choose to be happy; joyful even. We each walk most every morning for an hour or more and immerse ourselves in the awakening day. This invokes a deep sense of gratitude and bliss in us both. We relish in our weekly meetings over 2 poached eggs and hash brown potatoes with extra grilled onions at our favorite café. Though these things would be characterized as “simple”, gratitude and joy are a natural and organic response for us. We both make sure we feed our souls so that we can extend the joy (or bliss) we feel to others.

Being of service to others is a natural high for both of us.  I practice as a healer, nurture Spiritual-i-teaseTM,Inc., and “Medicine Ways” (more info ).


Noelle is a full-time Graphic Designer and serves the corporate community, nurtures Spiritual-i-teaseTM,Inc., and is a children’s book writer. Yes, our plates are full, but our lives are full and this is where our bliss is born! There’s also the steady flow of love and support among our families and friends. 


What was the inspiration for Spiritual-I-Tease?

I’ve worked as a pastor/energy medicine healer for over 20 years.  In that time, I have come to rely on certain phrases and principles to assist my client/friends.  The seminal phrase was “Just Say Thank You”.  I had several clients in the course of one week tell me that if I put it on a t-shirt, they would wear it.  The flood gates of inspiration opened and I was deluged with, “What would happen if I combined these phrases with the colors of the Chakras to which one would most want to apply the principle?”  I met Noelle right around this time, and during a discussion, we talked about Dr. Emoto’s work with the energy of water and how the molecular structure of water actually changes based on words and intentions. We both knew the powerful implications of Dr. Emoto’s studies and realized we were on to something. Our glassware is the direct result of our belief in his work. The next question was, “How could we make “enlightenment” fun and accessible to everyone?”  Noelle and I set a deadline to have some ideas designed and she went to work. She teamed up with her angels and spent 2 full days barely eating and creating dozens of designs. When we looked over the completed designs, we knew that Spiritual-i-teaseTM was something we were energetically empowered (maybe even compelled) to create.


There is a science and art to what you are doing.  How do the seeming disparate realms overlap?

Seeming is the right word for the question, as we really don’t differentiate.  We are often saying “Energy is all there is.”  We believe  

Spiritual-i-teaseTM is designed to weave together the power of words/phrases, the principles of both spiritual/scientific “law”, the energetic resonance of color, and last, but certainly not least, humor. All too often, people are inclined to take “spirituality” (or even life) very seriously.  When you lose sight of bliss and fun, you lose energy big time. The Dahli Lama is a wonderful example of an en-lightened-up soul.


More and more, we are seeing the link between spirituality and science; the concept that everything is energy and we are all connected. Quantum Physics, the String Theory and movies like “What the Bleep Do We Know: Down the Rabbit Hole” are great sources for examples. The gap between science (matter and energy) and spirituality is slowly closing. We believe that this moment in time and space is just right for a unique company like  Spiritual-i-teaseTM.


Have you long been interested in metaphysics?

My interest in metaphysics began at 8 years of age when I started paying attention to Astrology.  When I was 12, I had my tarot cards read and thought, “I can do that.”  I went out that weekend and bought my first deck and set about using them.  I was always drawn to reading Sci/Fi and Fantasy novels because they were the only books I could find that talked about energy fields and the connection between things/places/ideas…. “magic”.  So, “many moons” is the short answer to your question and I continue to study/practice in metaphysics.


Noelle has the same strong belief in metaphysics which makes our partnership that much more compatible.  She also has an absolutely amazing relationship with the I Ching. 


The two of you have diverse backgrounds . How did you come together to co-create such beauty?

Thank you for the compliment. Noelle has been a Graphic Designer for over 17 years and her work has been recognized by the American Advertising Federation’s (AAF) prestigious Addy Creative Awards. So, it seemed fitting to have someone with talent and a great passion for what she does create the aesthetics of the Company. Although she is a designer and I am a healer, we both live the same truth: Passion for what we do!


We met at a women’s networking group and immediately felt the synergy between us. That synergy, along with our desire to create something wholly unique and fun, is what compelled us to co-create Spiritual-i-teaseTM, Inc.


Your messages seem to be in alignment with the pioneering work of Dr. Emoto. How do having positive messages on clothing make a difference in how we feel?

Part of the beauty of Spiritual-i-teaseTM is that you can choose a focus for your day – let’s say, balance.  Put on a Tease-shirtTM that speaks to that: Bee Balanced.  Now, you are literally “in-bodying” your intention to be in greater balance.  Even when your attention wanders all over (as it will, all day and/or all night) you are in the energetic field of “Balance”.  Specifically to the BeelineTM, you are also energetically lending support to the Bee Nation. For more information on what is happening with the Bees, you can read up on Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD).  A portion of our BeelineTM proceeds goes to the North American Pollinators Protection Campaign.


Even if you didn’t know that all of this was built into your Tease-shirtTM, the shirt will still be bringing your life force into alignment with those principles and that energy. All of it is centered over your Heart Chakra, which is the power/transformer of energy for your body/life here on Earth. In addition to that, everyone who sees you in your Tease-shirtTM reinforces that energy with their recognition for both themselves and you! How wonderful is that! We believe what we say in our tagline: “Changing the World, One Tease at a Time.”


How do you plan on changing the world in this way?

For example, imagine a group Yoga class filled with budding yogis wearing a Tease-shirtTM  that reads, “Prefer Progress to Perfection”. The entire class has set their intentions, and have dedicated their practice to love their journeys and appreciate their personal growth and Progress at their own wonderful pace. When we consider all of that focused collective consciousness, we can easily imagine the support and power those students will generate for themselves and for each other. It’s a perfect give and receive, if you will. You would literally amplify the physical field of aligned energy.


The same principal applies to, for example, a Boot Camp, for those who are trying to lose weight. That is sooooo much work and it takes time and commitment. A “Patience: Wait Training” Tease-shirtTM speaks both to the physical and emotional challenges while giving you something to chuckle about.  AA meetings, mothers of young children, parents of autistic children, anyone with a challenge to their health…. we feel a little Tease could lift everyone’s spirits.


Additionally, we bless every garment that we offer to you with our deepest desire for your happiness, success, and most excellent health.  Every shirt includes an individual tag that lets you know a bit about why we created the Tease-shirtTM  in the way we did.  What’s really nice is that our customers have told us that they often keep the tags in their wallets to pull out read again as a reminder of the intention behind the Tease. 


We love ALL of our designs so much that choosing is difficult; however, I’ve attached one of the Tease-shirtTM  mentioned and another that is a good example of the “Tease”. We have several new designs that we are launching this Fall/Winter that are just fabulous, so stay tuned!

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