When I saw this image a few days ago, it occurred to me that there were times in my life when I was so watered down that I was a like a storm drain through which torrents ran, carried downstream at a rapid pace. In the service of refraining from rocking the boat and not making waves; I didn’t want people to be uncomfortable. I was speaking with my friend Ondreah the other night as we were enjoying dinner at an outdoor café in New Hope, PA and I was telling her that there is embedded in me this thought that ‘I can’t inconvenience anyone.’ It translates to playing by the rules, being conscious, on time, keeping my agreements which on the surface all seem like admirable qualities. It is when they become obsessive that problems can ensue and I lose myself. When I was growing up, I had two competing impulses. One was to honor my unique and magical self who loved communing with faeries and who had fanciful ideas and the other was to fit in. I have clear memories of making observations and verbalizing them, only to be met with quizzical…”what planet is SHE from?” looks by my peers. Red faced, I would retreat into my imaginary haven and swear never to be that vocal again. Blessedly, that didn’t last long and I drew into my life, people who were of my ‘tribe’ who spoke the same language and engaged in similar musings.
I sense that this dynamic had its origins back when my asthma attacks woke my parents in the middle of the night, sending my mom and me into the bathroom so that I could breathe in lung expanding steam. Regular visits brought us to our family doc’s office where we would sit for what seemed like hours to have allergy tests, injections and check ups. Although my mom and dad never indicated in any way that I was a burden, I somehow internalized the belief that I was and so I endeavored to be a ‘good girl’ who became an overachiever so they wouldn’t need to worry about me. Combine that with the compulsion to prove that I wasn’t going to allow ANYTHING to slow me down, I embodied the lyrics to the song 1980’s Matthew Wilder hit Break My Stride.
“Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride. No body gonna slow me down….oh no, oh no. I got to keep on moving.” That mindset has kept me on the run from relationships, from much needed sleep, from opportunities, and from comfort in my own skin. It has had me overworking and underplaying, internally fretting; since I wouldn’t want anyone to know that I was less than self assured. Yesterday while at a drumming circle, one of my friends approached me and from behind her glowingly purple sunglasses, she exclaimed that my writing inspired her on days when she felt less than optimal. I laughed and told her that it had the impact on me too which is one reason I write. It is my therapy and testing ground for what I most need to heal in my own life.
It is when I know who I am, genuinely, transparently, noisily, silently, messily, prettily me that I can love her passionately and invite others to as well. I am and you are….
http://youtu.be/uj8C43r4zm0 I Am What I Am-Gloria Gaynor
“Offer a vibration that matches your desire rather than offering a vibration that keeps matching what-is.” — Abraham
Esther Hicks has been sharing the collective energy/entity known as Abraham -Hicks since the late 1990’s. I became aware of ‘their’ messages in 2004 or so and they have resonated deeply with what I know to be so…thought is creative and we plant seeds that will blossom from them. It rings forth for me with a purity that has no subtext or hidden agenda. It just IS.
She and her husband Jerry, who passed in 2011, brought forth into the world 9 books that have highlighted the Law of Attraction that has so delighted me when I put it into practice each day.
From the website: www.abraham-hicks.com
A Synopsis of Abraham-Hicks’ Teachings
1. You Are a Physical Extension of That Which is Non-physical.
2. You Are Here in This Body Because You Chose to Be Here.
3. The Basis of Your Life is Freedom; the Purpose of Your Life is Joy.
4. You Are a Creator; You Create With Your Every Thought.
5. Anything That You Can Imagine is Yours to Be or Do or Have.
6. As You Are Choosing Your Thoughts, Your Emotions Are Guiding You.
7. The Universe Adores You for it Knows Your Broadest Intentions.
8. Relax into Your Natural Well-Being. All is Well. (Really It Is!)
9. You Are a Creator of Thoughtways on Your Unique Path of Joy.
10. Actions to Be Taken and Possessions to Be Exchanged Are By-products of Your Focus on Joy.
11. You May Appropriately Depart Your Body Without Illness or Pain.
12. You Can Not Die; You Are Everlasting Life.
While this may seem over the top or revolutionary to some, it makes perfect sense to me. Not sure when I first began to KNOW, not just believe (since beliefs change) that all of these statements are so, but I can say that life is a whole lot more fun and freeing when I live them. One of the questions I ask myself often is : “What beliefs or thoughts would someone have to hold in order to have the experience I am having now?” At times when the bank account has been less than bountiful, I have come to realize that my fear and scarcity thoughts have been holding the reins. That’s when I have shifted and reminded myself that I have ALWAYS had more than enough to take care of my needs. Lately I have been reinforcing the thought that I am in God’s employ and that the salary and benefits are ‘out of this world’. I then bring them into this world on a practical, day to day basis. When I am cultivating new gardens for my writing and speaking, I remember that I am setting up a win-win situation for all involved and so I boldly request to connect powerfully and peacefully with the decision makers. I know that the ideas are sparked so that I CAN actualize them in the world. It’s true for me and for you too.
Over the past year, I have been noticing a literal, physical vibrational change. There are times when I feel as if my body is buzzing. Not always a comfortable sensation, but one to which I am adapting. Less sleep, more inspired ideas and bold actions. Things manna-festing at the speed of thought; people, opportunities, events showing up as if by Divine Design. I am amazed but never surprised at these happenings.
Today, I invite you to begin being aware of the areas of your life in which your thoughts, inner knowings and actions align with the experiences you desire. Raise the vibration!
http://youtu.be/4zW4Z_BBG_M You CAN Control Your Vibration with Abraham-Hicks
Some solutions are so obvious that they are ‘hiding in plain sight’ and I like to say, that “if it had teeth, it would have bitten me.” This morning, I was presented with something that simple and profound. As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, my friend Cindy Greb who writes Beliefnet’s Blessings Abound column, is visiting Pennsylvania where her parents and siblings live, from her new home in Crestone, Colorado. She is camping out in my living room. At the same time, my son is working on painting a room that will become my new office. For now, an extra sofa is hanging out between the living room and dining room, backed up against the dining room table at which Cindy and I are working. I was attempting to clamber over it, squeeze around it, balancing my almond milk, strawberry, banana fruit smoothie. Cindy grinned and said, “How about it we move the couch so you can get past it?” Duh.
How often do I make things much harder than necessary? I guess it’s the recovering Type A-semi-perfectionistic-workaholic in me that has to make it appear that I am working soooo much more diligently than I am. It occurred to me a few years ago that if I set the bar really high and hurtle over it, then I can give myself extra atta-girl’s for it and if I miss, then I can justifiably give myself wiggle room, because ‘after all, how could I possibly have reached the goal when it was so daunting?’ I am more conscious of that dynamic these days and go for easier, more graceful endeavors. There remains a sense of accomplishment, regardless.
What are the couches in your life? Mine look like worn out beliefs of lack and limitation, all the shoulda woulda coulda’s that I set in my way. The version of me that used to gaze back from my mirror has blessedly, gained some wisdom and actually put the couch down, since there was a time when I would have not only moved it myself, but carried it too.
These days, I’m even learning to allow for more time to lounge on it.
As I’m writing this Bliss Blog entry, I’m sitting at my dining room table with my dear friend Cindy Greb who I have known for 28 years. She is a new Beliefnet columnist (Blessings Abound) who is visiting back East from her new home in Crestone, Colorado. Cindy has the bright curiosity of a child, the wisdom of an elder (she and I are both seasoned women with the laugh lines to show for it) and a traveler’s soul. She has lived in four states and has visited many more. Everywhere she goes, she draws in kindred spirits with all of those attributes. When I heard she was going to be coming here to see her family, I immediately called dibs on some of her time. She is also an exquisite artist and photographer, writer and as a bonus……massage therapist extraordinaire. Looking forward to my table time tomorrow.
We are both working on our blogs and I know that we are each feeding the flow. I am blessed to have many friends who help me color outside the lines with my creative juices. I continue to attract writers, painters, designers, photographers, dancers, drummers, singers, multi-instrumentalists who inspire me to let my own wildly wondrous word wrangler out to play. She spills forth copious amounts of verbiage, not able to staunch the flow. I am feeding it by diving into life head and heart-first, sometimes in hyper-drive. Lately though, I have noticed the beauty inherent in silence and serenity when once it would have been nearly unthinkable….me slow down? Heavens no, the world might stop spinning.
What I particularly love about co-creation is that no one person has all of the ideas available and stream of consciousness thinking sparks each other’s imagery. Painting word pictures, we writerly types open the door to new worlds. I was speaking with someone today about his creative ideas. He says that he primarily writes for himself, not caring much about feedback and peddling his words to the public. I toss it off to being young since he is 19. I remember brimming with youthful idealism and when I look back at my journals from my college years (circa late 70’s- early 80’s) it amazes me still that I was able to crystalize concepts. In the interceding three decades, it feels like my brain is a sponge that lives to soak up impressions and wring them back out to drench the imaginations of those who choose to slurp up the words.
http://youtu.be/VmItkmpZ7Dw Tribute to Obatala (Yoruban Orisha-God of Creativity)