I am feeling a sense of relief with a situation I have been fretting over recently. I sometimes find myself (or lose myself) in hamster wheel spinning over certain events over which I have no control. Once I take care of biz on my end, all I really can do is let go. As my friend Reid Mihalko has guided me wisely, “The event will go as the event will go.” Preparation quickly becomes obsession when I feel I need to control all outcomes in my world. Can I get an Amen, sistah on that one?
I am learning to engage in my work on all levels more methodically and setting up systems that are streamlined. I guess this right brain creative soul is growing her left brain, linear, logical side. I would have balked about the need to do that years ago. I used to believe that if I were to allow my more black and white, cerebral mind to take over, it would blot out the rainbow hues that I was born express. That couldn’t happen in a million years. One of my dearest friends and mentor, Yvonne Kaye used to tell me that “Discipline is freedom,” to which I would shake my head in disbelief since it felt quite the opposite; imprisoning in fact. What I didn’t get at the time was that within that structure lay all the freedom and play I could possibly desire. Scrambling around to get things done, forgetting where I put my keys, cell phone and wallet, would leave me breathless, frustrated and lacking in consciousness about what needed to be done. As I am now nearing the middle of my 5th decade, mindfulness becomes the key to success and sanity.
I am also easily distracted, shifting from writing articles to checking emails, to listening to music, gazing off out the window, wondering what else I need to accomplish in the next 24 hours, remembering dreams, running through my schedule in my head… What’s ironic is that I was never like that as a kid, from what I can recall, would never been diagnosed with ADHD (not that that definition even existed back in the 1960’s) It’s as if the playful creature in my mind is off and running, not wanting to miss a moment of potential fun; colorful, sparkly, silly, soul-full. How to balance it all is the challenge at times. Learning to do the dance with whatever partners show up, whether they are human, animal or experiential. This morning, I needed to juggle schedules, quickly shuffling things around, partly as a result of mis-communication. Took a deep breath and then inspired action and all is well. My left brain took hold and came up with a solution, hand in hand with my right brain who added creative flourish. I am eager to see what opportunities arise throughout the day to have them work in harmony to create magic.
http://youtu.be/vYwOtTMUz0c Brain Parts by Aaron Wolf
What a brilliant man Theodore Geisel (better known as Dr. Seuss) was! Not sure what factors went into creating the phantasmagorical mind of his, but as a child of the 60’s I was enthralled and entertained by his word wrangling ways. Even into his teens, my now 25 year old son’s favorite book of the good doctor’s was The Cat In The Hat. I think he rather fancied the idea that the kids got away with stuff that their mother didn’t know about.
When I saw this quote, I was tickled, since this is how I live. I think it comes in part from growing up in a goofy family. I was speaking with my friend Joan Schaublin last night on my way home from a loooonnnng day at work. She was my intro into the company that published my book and we have remained in touch, each recognizing a kindred spirit even though we haven’t yet met face to face. We were sharing about our family functional craziness that manna-fested in the form of knowing that we could do or be anything we wanted, that was reinforced by our respective parents. Any idea as long as it could support us financially and bring us joy is what my parents wanted for my sister and me. It sounds like Joan’s folks had the same thing in mind and did what they could to help her realize her dreams. I was never told to ‘be realistic’. My dreams and visions were nurtured. Is that fantasy? I don’t know.
The Merriam-Webster on line dictionary defines it as “The free play of creative imagination. Creation of the imaginative faculty whether expressed or merely conceived: as a: a fanciful design or invention .” It first came into use in the 14th century and even the sound of it tickles my creative soul. Fantasy, to me isn’t unrealistic. In psychology, it is often disparaged as ‘magical thinking’. Hey, I’m all for magical thinking, especially if it plants the seeds for what I would like to come fruition. I also told Joan last night that I can’t recall ever having any naysayers in my life, who told me that I couldn’t fulfill my deepest heart desires. We mused about how fortunate we were and wondered why we were the exception to the rule. I would be interested in knowing how many who are reading this fall into that category.
I have found that this ability to view life through the lens of the non-sensical (which means to me that sometimes things just don’t make logical sense) allows it to be easier to weather the winds of change, ride the waves of wonder and laugh at the absurdities of life. I am often asked how I manage to remain happy in the face of all kinds of personal challenges and hearing people’s stories at work as a social worker/therapist. Seeing the world through that inverted telescope helps keep my brain enlivened and sparking with all sorts of fantastical ideas! Just wait and see what comes next~
www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DVZ5FsOZWC3A Fantasy by Earth, Wind and Fire
At any given moment, it seems like I have a gazillion thoughts running rampant in my mind. They sometimes remind me of pick up stix. I have heard that the human brain experiences approximately 70,000 thoughts every day. Sometimes they are so subtle that we don’t even notice them. At this moment, mine are “oh, I notice the clicks of my fingers on the keys, the coo of the mourning dove outside my window, my stomach growling pre-breakfast, that I have alot to get done today, including this article, a coaching client at 11, going into the office for the rest of the day, noticing a sheer vest that I had washed last night, hanging to dry on the spiral staircase that I see from my open bed room door, and that I need to restart the dryer to dry the rest of the clothes that I had put in last night, that I need to run some errands before the client appointment, that a car door just closed, the gentle hum of the laptop, a slight sense of fatigue after a long weekend away….” And so it goes. Interesting as I consider it, that those thoughts are what I would deem ‘positive’…good start to my day. There are certainly times throughout the day when they give way to frustrating, uggghhhh, how the heck did THAT happen, what was I thinking, come on Universe, let’s get it together mental meanderings. It’s then that I remember that just as Dorothy always had it within her to whisk herself from Oz to Kansas, so too do I have the means to bring myself back home.
This weekend I both attended and spoke at the CCBC Women’s Conference in Catonsville, MD. There were likely thousands of folks there over the two day span with a central message of empowerment. I was on stage the first day, offering a message called Peeling Off The Layers To Reveal The Goddess In The Mirror. As is often the case, even if I have an agenda, outline, some general idea of what I want to say, I find myself ‘ordering off the menu’, getting beckoned to share something that may seem like a non-sequitur, but people somehow follow along, nodding and smiling. I call it being in the flow and just loving the process wherever it leads me. I offered to the group that sometimes I don’t feel like the image of a Goddess and on my way over Saturday morning, I wondered why my shirt felt funny. I looked down and noticed that it was on backward. I went into the bathroom to turn it around and take a pre-presentation pee and saw that my underwear was on inside out! That I left as is. No such thing as TMI between friends and who knows how many readers here.
One of the organizers, Ginny Presley Robertson was speaking about the concept of Getting Out Of Your Own Way. I sat with rapt attention, since at times, I am the most boulder- like blockage in my own path. She said something that triggered a thought in my head, that we all have ‘perception deficit disorder’ which is indeed a close cousin to attention deficit disorder. What we perceive becomes our default reality. When I look at people and circumstances through the eyes of fear or doubt, the world beceomes a scary place with monsters lurking around every corner. When I shift perception (which is the way A Course In Miracles defines a miracle), the monsters disappear in a puff of smoke and to quote my favorite line from Neverending Story, “It’s like the nothing ever was.”