Beliefnet
The Bliss Blog

This morning as I was driving to an appointment, I was musing about the direction my life has taken in the past year or so. Twelve months ago, I was employed full time as a web content writer, working from home and bringing in more income than I ever did as a social worker. I felt a sense of freedom financially that was unfamiliar to me. I was able to easily pay my bills and have plenty left over to save, donate and spend as I chose. I was responsible and not frivolous with spending. And then….. a year and three months after I was hired, the company was faced with budget cuts which meant laying off a large portion of our creative team. I found myself only in a mild state of panic, knowing that I would be able to rebound quickly. I did, with a new job in less than two weeks that looked like it would be long term, until…..a few months later, the non-profit was not able to get the funding it needed to keep me on. Since then, I have been doing all sorts of free lance writing, teaching, coaching, counseling and editing. Although I have been able to pay bills, there has remained an underlying sense of trepidation that I won’t be able to do so. I’ve needed to be more frugal than I was a year ago.

I question the pattern that I have been following. The consistent paycheck that I had received for a dozen years as a social worker in a psychiatric hospital came at a price; my peace of mind and health. The salary and benefits that came from this other job was short lived, but it does tell me something. The woman who became my supervisor had recruited me after reading my various on line blogs; this one included.  That meant (in my mind) that Spirit was working behind the scenes to orchestrate that job. Even so, there is something unconscious going on that has placed me on the career roller coaster ride I have been on for several decades. I have prayed about it and then asked who or what am I praying to?  Is it an interventive entity or an all pervading energy? Is it my own doing, or non-doing that brings in the bucks?  Is it trust and surrender to whatever is unfolding?

Back to the road trip. Just as I was in the depths of pondering my next steps, a truck rounded the hill in the opposite direction and I laughed as I always do when I see it, since it tells me that the Universe is sending me a powerful pay-attention-to-this-one message. The truck is from a company that sells bathroom and kitchen fixtures. It is called…wait for it…Weinstein Supply Company. In case you hadn’t noticed, that is my last name. Whenever it shows up, it is a reminder that my needs are always taken care of and there is an unlimited supply coming from my Source. Sighing, I continued driving and the song by The Flaming Lips called Do You Realize? came on the radio on WXPN.

Do You Realize – that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize – we’re floating in space –
Do You Realize – that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize – that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize – Oh – Oh – Oh
Do You Realize – that everyone you know
Someday will die –
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize – that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize
Songwriters: Dave Fridmann / Michael Ivins / Steven Drozd / Wayne Coyne
Do You Realise? lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
The song reminds me that our time here on the planet is limited and it is in our best interest to live it fully and freely without overt and unecessary worry and fear.
On my way back from the appointment, another song snagged my attention, called The Life You Chose by Jason Isbell. A line jumped out at me: “Are you living the life you chose? Are you living the life that chose you?” Hmmm…..  There are times when I am on both ends of the spectrum. I make consious decisions each day that as it unfolds, it will bring with it all kinds of adventures and along with it, miracles. What I choose, in some ways, does choose me, since I have found that like attracts like far more than opposites attract. So what am I choosing?
* Trusting that my needs will always be met.
* Knowing that I have the skills and experience to bring in what my services are worth.
* Believing that all is well and that worrying about anything is a waste of my time and energy.
* Finding the same kind of freedom I felt when holding that well paying job.
* Sensing that something even better awaits my welcome.
Join the Discussion
comments powered by Disqus