Beliefnet
The Bliss Blog

This morning, my friend Cindee Levow mused on Facebook:

“I am envious of people who believe in God in such a way that they can have faith and find strength even in life & death circumstances. That would make life an easier journey.”

I pondered her statement for only a brief period of time, since I count myself in that group. Not that I don’t doubt or question my faith when ‘life gets lifey,’ and I wonder how I will make it through the jungle. I can say that faith is  is the machete that helps me hack my way through the sometimes strangling vines of fear. My parents instilled in me the certainty that no matter what, I would make it. My father would say, “You never know what tomorrow will bring.” My mother’s que sera sera wisdom echoed, “What will be, will be.” I always felt that God had my back. My prayers back then were those of a child, who reached out to ‘Him’ as the Divine was referred to in the Judaism of my upbringing, for protection and a certain outcome. As an adult, my perception has shifted and I see myself and everyone else as a part of, rather than apart from the God of our understanding with the ability and responsibility to be God’s eyes, hearts and hands on the planet.  Although I have several times a day ‘God-versations,’ I see them as alternately monologues and dialogues, depending on my own GPS (God Positioning Service) position at the time. They take form of gratitude regardless of desired outcome. They focus on accepting whatever is for the Highest Good, even if not what I thought I initially wanted. How many times have I looked back and felt relief for what didn’t unfold and thanks for what did? I would run out of fingers and toes to count on.

Of course, I experience the proverbial dark nights of the soul and question every aspect of life. Even the Bliss Mistress gets the blues. They don’t last long, since I have developed resiliency skills that keep me (relatively) sane and vertical.

When I witness tragic events worldwide or even in my own background, I recall the lyrics to this song:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I will not be made useless
I won’t be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know,
But they’re not yours they are my own
But they’re not yours they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
But it didn’t steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But i knew it wasn’t ever after
We will fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what’s right
Cause where there’s a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small, I know,
But they’re not yours they are my own
But they’re…”
-Jewel
They remind me that when I am in service to another, I have tremendous impact on the world around me. Fear dissipates, worry evaporates. Throughout my life, I have faced challenge. My grandmother’s death when I was four. The diagnosis of asthma and foot issues shortly after that. The illness and death of my husband. The loss of our home in Hurricane Andrew. Health wake up shake ups of shingles, heart attack, kidney stones and adrenal fatigue in a year’s time. Job loss. Each one carried with it the opportunity to feel fear and/or face it with faith.

 

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