I had an interesting series of events over the past few days after writing a blog entry for The Huffington Post. It was called Why I Am Proud To Be A Total B*TCH!  As I was typing the words, I had a bit of trepidation come up and a sense of uh oh, should I be writing these words and validating what I had considered a derogatory term to describe women?  It wasn’t a matter of fearing being called that, but rather not wanting it to seem like I was condoning anyone’s hurtful use of it. Then as I re-read it, I felt empowered and wanted to empower other women to reframe the term Being In Total Control (or Charge) of Herself. When I think of that way, it feels like rocket fuel that empowers me. Shortly after the article was posted, I was invited to be interviewed on HuffPo Live today. After years of being on both sides of the microphone, I found myself being a wee bit nervous. Uncharacteristic of me. I can’t hide behind anything when I am that public. I sailed through it pretty well and when I watched the clip, I was only mildly critical.

Then I started to have monkey mind thoughts, such as “How much do I promote it? Will people be supportive and cheer with me, or will they roll their eyes and think I am being too self absorbed?”  It’s that “too much/not enough” dichotomy that rattles me at times.

Mostly, I am over the moon about it and see it as another milestone in the evolution of Edie.  What are your growing edges?  Where do you judge yourself?  What disenfranchised parts of yourself are you willing to claim? Where do you live in the betwixt and between?

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