The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


When Lives Touch

 

heartofgold2

 

I have been pensive lately for many reasons. The first is that I am still in relatively new life renewal mode. Two months ago, I was lying in a hospital bed with all manner of accutrement attached to my arms; beeping and chirping away. A pin hole was poked into my right wrist, allowing for the insertion of a stent that was placed in a collapsed artery. I can still see it and it is fading, but not my resolve to see this as a do-over. My schedule has changed dramatically as I am now working from home full time, living a cherished dream as a writer. I have what I would have thought of as the luxury to take care of myself in ways I never had before. Even though I am busy, I am not frenzied. Even though I have deadlines to meet, I can come up for air. Often over the years, I have felt as if I was holding my breath just to get through a day jam packed with activity. My friends would tell me that they would feel exhausted just hearing me chant the litany of my daily to do list.

When before I would have said yes to nearly every request made of me, more often I am feeling my way into it and saying no, if I am truly unwilling to say yes. I was laughingly telling my cousin Jody yesterday that I was looking for things to say no to, just to practice it. Ironically, the more I say no to what I choose not to do, the more life affirms me. Doors keep opening easily that had seemed bolted before. How grace filled things can be when I am in surrender mode.

A friend had asked a question on her Facebook page about the best thing that had happened in our lives in 2014. Immediately and ironically, I said that the heart attack was it. If not for its occurrence, I would still be running a gazillion miles an hour, sleeping little, working too much, too hard, scrambling for success, immersed in my workaholic ways. Clear and simple, I am a workaholic who needs to be mindful of the effects of that addiction as surely as an alcoholic needs to steer clear of the bottle. The truth is I can’t refrain from working, but it needs to be at a sane and reasonable pace. As a result of the cardiac condition, I have shifted gears in my writing; coming from the heart in all areas. I have used my gifts to share information to caution others to learn from my experience. From that vantage point, I have been able to touch lives that I might never have otherwise.

I also have been considering the mystery of whether anything is random or it is all carefully mapped out, or perhaps a combination of the two. Had I made a soul contract to lose my beloved grandmother at age 4, to be diagnosed with asthma soon after, so that at 11 I would join a swim team which would become a favorite activity for many years, which would lead me to coaching and then deciding to enter into the field of therapy since I liked serving in a teaching/counseling mode? That in turn brought me to Glassboro State College where I also worked in a crisis intervention center where I met many who are still in my life to this day (3 with whom I got to spend precious time a few weeks ago). Fast forward and my spiritual practices and interests had me going to hear a presentation by Ram Dass and during the intermission, I was introduced to a man who I would marry, with whom I would co-create a magazine called Visions, which would launch my journalism career. When he died, I would become an interfaith minister and free lance journalist who is now typing these words. Along the way, I have crossed paths with thousands of people in the various and sundry personal and professional roles I play.

This week I received an envelope in the mail marked ‘hand cancel’. It came from my friend Vicki. When I eagerly opened it, I saw this gold cardiac muscle shaped heart and it informed me that it was my heart of gold. I felt loved and it reinforced the belief that I sometimes feel challenged to accept, that I do have a heart of gold that guides me to touch and be touched by the people in my life.

 

 

 

 



Previous Posts

Sunrise Sunset- Blissful Book Review~
    "Sunsets are love notes written directly to you and last lines are always the same. Life is too short and too precious to dwell on anything other than gratitude."- Gabe Berman Awe and gratitude are two of my favorite words; sunrises and sunsets two of Mother Nature's most d

posted 7:58:58am Oct. 24, 2014 | read full post »

For All That We Are
'To be witnessed and embraced for all that we are; the good, bad and ugly; as striving human beings daring to reach for the stars, is a gift beyond measure." These words came to me as I was writing a chapter for a soon to be released co-authored book called Embraced By the Divine: The Emerging W

posted 10:48:42am Oct. 23, 2014 | read full post »

Frozen
Although the movie has been out since last year,  this past week, I climbed up on the sled and took a wild ride with Anna and Kristoff, in the not so wonderful winter-landscape created by Elsa via her out of control emotions.  Frozen (based on the Hans Christian Anderson classic:  The Snow Quee

posted 8:25:25am Oct. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Uncovering My Heart
  I attended a workshop this afternoon that was facilitated by an old friend that I had not actually met hug to hug until today. Her name is Ambika Devi, author of the cosmic journey called Lilith which combines historical teachings, powerful legends, in this case the s/hero's journey, as

posted 9:29:08pm Oct. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Life Smoothie
In conversation with my flight attendant friend Jewelee Landis, about whom I have written many times over the years, we were musing about life being like a smoothie. She, like most of us, wears many hats.  Hers- wife, mom, daughter, granddaughter,  friend, doggy and kitty mom and now grandmom to n

posted 7:07:24pm Oct. 18, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.