The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


When Lives Touch

 

heartofgold2

 

I have been pensive lately for many reasons. The first is that I am still in relatively new life renewal mode. Two months ago, I was lying in a hospital bed with all manner of accutrement attached to my arms; beeping and chirping away. A pin hole was poked into my right wrist, allowing for the insertion of a stent that was placed in a collapsed artery. I can still see it and it is fading, but not my resolve to see this as a do-over. My schedule has changed dramatically as I am now working from home full time, living a cherished dream as a writer. I have what I would have thought of as the luxury to take care of myself in ways I never had before. Even though I am busy, I am not frenzied. Even though I have deadlines to meet, I can come up for air. Often over the years, I have felt as if I was holding my breath just to get through a day jam packed with activity. My friends would tell me that they would feel exhausted just hearing me chant the litany of my daily to do list.

When before I would have said yes to nearly every request made of me, more often I am feeling my way into it and saying no, if I am truly unwilling to say yes. I was laughingly telling my cousin Jody yesterday that I was looking for things to say no to, just to practice it. Ironically, the more I say no to what I choose not to do, the more life affirms me. Doors keep opening easily that had seemed bolted before. How grace filled things can be when I am in surrender mode.

A friend had asked a question on her Facebook page about the best thing that had happened in our lives in 2014. Immediately and ironically, I said that the heart attack was it. If not for its occurrence, I would still be running a gazillion miles an hour, sleeping little, working too much, too hard, scrambling for success, immersed in my workaholic ways. Clear and simple, I am a workaholic who needs to be mindful of the effects of that addiction as surely as an alcoholic needs to steer clear of the bottle. The truth is I can’t refrain from working, but it needs to be at a sane and reasonable pace. As a result of the cardiac condition, I have shifted gears in my writing; coming from the heart in all areas. I have used my gifts to share information to caution others to learn from my experience. From that vantage point, I have been able to touch lives that I might never have otherwise.

I also have been considering the mystery of whether anything is random or it is all carefully mapped out, or perhaps a combination of the two. Had I made a soul contract to lose my beloved grandmother at age 4, to be diagnosed with asthma soon after, so that at 11 I would join a swim team which would become a favorite activity for many years, which would lead me to coaching and then deciding to enter into the field of therapy since I liked serving in a teaching/counseling mode? That in turn brought me to Glassboro State College where I also worked in a crisis intervention center where I met many who are still in my life to this day (3 with whom I got to spend precious time a few weeks ago). Fast forward and my spiritual practices and interests had me going to hear a presentation by Ram Dass and during the intermission, I was introduced to a man who I would marry, with whom I would co-create a magazine called Visions, which would launch my journalism career. When he died, I would become an interfaith minister and free lance journalist who is now typing these words. Along the way, I have crossed paths with thousands of people in the various and sundry personal and professional roles I play.

This week I received an envelope in the mail marked ‘hand cancel’. It came from my friend Vicki. When I eagerly opened it, I saw this gold cardiac muscle shaped heart and it informed me that it was my heart of gold. I felt loved and it reinforced the belief that I sometimes feel challenged to accept, that I do have a heart of gold that guides me to touch and be touched by the people in my life.

 

 

 

 



Previous Posts

Uncovering My Heart
  I attended a workshop this afternoon that was facilitated by an old friend that I had not actually met hug to hug until today. Her name is Ambika Devi, author of the cosmic journey called Lilith which combines historical teachings, powerful legends, in this case the s/hero's journey, as

posted 9:29:08pm Oct. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Life Smoothie
In conversation with my flight attendant friend Jewelee Landis, about whom I have written many times over the years, we were musing about life being like a smoothie. She, like most of us, wears many hats.  Hers- wife, mom, daughter, granddaughter,  friend, doggy and kitty mom and now grandmom to n

posted 7:07:24pm Oct. 18, 2014 | read full post »

What Does Your Facebook Page Say About You?
What did we ever do before the Phenom of Facebook?  It is where people turn for companionship and to relieve boredom. To learn what is happening in the world, without watching the news. It serves the purpose of entertainment and to gain a different perspective,  as well as to rally the troops for

posted 11:50:22pm Oct. 16, 2014 | read full post »

For Me
I had a revelationary thought today as I recognized that for much of my adult life, I have done things for the benefit of others first and foremost, or to please someone so as to gain or not lose love and/or approval. Now, since the heart opening experience in June, I do more things for my own satis

posted 7:48:13pm Oct. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Face Your Fears Day
The calendar has all kinds of quirky holidays and the block that is set aside for the second Tuesday in October is National Face Your Fears Day. This year, it occurs on October 14th.  Oh, that's today!  What if we really could do just that? What if we could look at what is an imposter, cleverly

posted 11:06:54pm Oct. 14, 2014 | read full post »




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