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The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

The Art of Surrender

ediepediOn Saturday, I began my day in retrospective musing. Listening to Ellis Paul singing Dragonfly  on Sleepy Hollow  to greet the sun. Was reading earlier entries down my time line on Facebook and marveled at how far I have come since everything changed with the ‘cardiac event’ on June 12th. It was one of those ‘thank God I…’ experiences. If not for that happening I would likely (who am I kidding? DEFINITELY) still be running a gazillion miles an hour, to what end? To prove what? I am recognizing that workaholism can be as insidious an addiction as any other since it attempts to convince me that my worth is based on my productivity and results, rather than just my BEINGNESS. The insanity of it has me shaking my head in bemusement.
On Friday at cardiac rehab, even though I was drenched in sweat, pushing as hard as I could, I still felt disappointed that I hadn’t reached the goals I had set for myself. My lovely rehab coach, Suzanne reassured me that I was more than meeting goals overall since I began; in workout time both there and at home, in intensity and METS (not the baseball team:)-Metabolic equivalents which measures efficiency of workouts. In the process of healing, I am giving myself permission to nap, sleep later if need be, step back from activity if the message is to do so. I am re-evaluating my schedule, adapting as I am called to do. My new job provides the latitude to write at varying hours; not restricted to certain times, so I can respond to the call of the Muse. I have less fear of ‘letting people down’ by saying no or asking to renegotiate agreements. The frantic spinning of the plates that I  believed would cause the world to come crashing out of orbit if I put them down, has ceased. I evaluate my choices one by one, rather than in clumps.  I break down tasks into manageable bits instead of multi-tasking more of the time. I feel a sense of accomplishment with small things like laundry and dishes or organizing my meds into a nice, neat little rows in the pill tender. Some days that almost feels like enough. I am savoring life in ways that I wasn’t capable of doing before. Breathing in life, bathing in bliss,  not just talking the talk, but truly walking the walk, except when I am kicking back and putting my feet up.
I am trusting more readily that all works by Divine Design. My needs are always met. Even in the midst of challenges, I am learning the art of surrender. Ahh~

 

Previous Posts

On My Way Back Home
Packed and ready to return home following a week in Hilton Head, SC with my friends Barb and Glenn. Feeling refreshed and revitalized. Like most vacations, it began ages ago and was over in the blink of an eye.  In a seven day span, I swam in ...

posted 9:17:08pm May. 22, 2015 | read full post »

The Lifeguard is Off Duty
On vacation for the week and while shopping in Hilton Head, I saw a t-shirt that read "Lifeguard off duty. Save yourself". I laughed as I purchased it for someone at home. I was tempted to get another one for myself, but I resisted. I was a ...

posted 9:45:16am May. 21, 2015 | read full post »

Our Final Thoughts
Earlier this year, I wrote an article that focused on the multitude of thoughts that careen through our heads and the impact they have on the shape our lives take. Going deeper, I have been exploring the trajectory from there to here and the ...

posted 11:08:09am May. 19, 2015 | read full post »

My To-Do List
Writing this the night before heading southward with my friends Barb and Glenn to Hilton Head, SC for a week of fun in the sun. It is the first long vacation I have had in more than a decade. They invited me to take the time to veg and just BE. ...

posted 9:09:30pm May. 15, 2015 | read full post »

Filling the Well
My friend Cass Forkin is a devout Catholic who doesn't merely pray. She walks the talk. Cass is the founder and director of The Twilight Wish Foundation that grants wishes for seniors. She is also, like me, a miracle manna-fester and consummate ...

posted 9:45:34pm May. 14, 2015 | read full post »

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