The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Is It In The DNA?

molecule-display-blue-519097-h

 

I awoke early this morning after being in bed most of the day yesterday with the “I don’t feel like getting out of my pj’s chant (not blues:)” rambling through my brain. On top of that, I was experiencing a recurrence of the shingles headache that began with the onset back in November. It tends to kick in when I go into hyper-drive mode.

I had an entire day planned out which included a ‘playout’ at the gym, going into my office to catch up with paperwork, drop things off at my son’s apartment and then grocery shopping. Guess how many of those items got checked off the list? Nada. Instead, I wrote, edited, planned workshops, listened to  a webinar about marketing my work, did some promo, read a book I was reviewing and still I felt less than accomplished.

What’s up with that?

While chatting with a friend, I had these mental meanderings:

It has been a long term dynamic in my life, ancestral it seems. My grandparents were Russian immigrants who came here to find the proverbial streets paved with gold. My father worked ‘crazy hours’ as my mother would describe them, to support us. I was the first to go to college and grad school. It’s almost like I am the standard bearer for my family, not wanting to let them down. For most of my adult life, I have worked overlapping jobs simultaneously.

After Michael died,  (more than 15 years ago, leaving me to raise our 11 year old son solo), I have been able to keep us afloat. I worked for 11 years at a stressful job in a psychiatric hospital and in the end, needed to leave to save my own sanity! I really thought that I would do so much better financially since I would be running the show and taking on more well paying work. Sometimes I make more per hour than I did there, but it hasn’t been consistent. Frustration ensues when I look at the body of work I have created and think “What’s it gonna take for it to be recognized beyond the lovely (and appreciated:) feedback I receive?”  I see myself sharing the messages far and wide and being well compensated for it. How can I have these gifts otherwise if it isn’t how I am meant to support myself?, is the existential question.

And I imagine I’m not alone in this query. How many reading this have wondered that about themselves and their vision for their right livelihood work?  Do you question what it will take to bump you up to the next level of satisfaction and remuneration? Some of it, I have found, involves seed planting and then surrender. The first is easy for me…I am a regular Johnny Appleseed when it comes to scattering the beginnings of mighty trees. The challenge is in the stepping back and allowing them to blossom. Ready for the harvest~

Photo credit- net_efekt/everystock

 

 



Previous Posts

The Gift of Vulnerability
A quote from one of my favorite books has set the stage for an ongoing process in my life. The Velveteen Rabbit is a tale of a little boy whose toys dispense wisdom to each other,  the child and the reader of this classic. The rabbit, who is a bit insecure and wondering if the tot will favor him, a

posted 10:17:06am Jan. 26, 2015 | read full post »

On the Elevator
  Yesterday I received a surprise in the mail. It was a tiny pocket sized book called Back To Joy that was compiled by author June Cotner. It contains tidbits of wisdom from the likes of Anne Lamott, John Welwood, Winston Churchill, Helen Keller, Rachel Carson, Og Mandino and someone else wh

posted 9:26:51pm Jan. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Wabi Sabi Walls
    The Japanese concept of Wabi Sabi is defined in Wikipedia as: " A comprehensive  Japanese world view or aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete".

posted 9:31:09pm Jan. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Clothes Make The Man
As I was speaking with a client today, we were discussing ways that people learn who they are and how they re-create themselves when major life changes occur. I remembered a scene from one of my favorite films:  Joe vs. the Volcano. Tom Hanks plays Joe Banks who  has a dreary, gray life, with pre

posted 10:22:22pm Jan. 21, 2015 | read full post »

Changing Your Mind About God
I was listening to an  NPR interview today with author Scott Chesire whose initial book  is called High As the Horses’ Bridles, which is a reference to an image connected with Armageddon. It is a novel, but in part, is based on his own experience as a Jehovah's Witness. In his conversation

posted 10:18:52pm Jan. 19, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.