The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Healing Wounds

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Every day as I go out into the world, I am aware of walking in the midst of people who carry with them all sorts of traumas and scars; some as fresh as that day, some decades old and others ancestral, that are lodged in their cellular memory. I send them compassion and healing energy, wondering a lot how they keep on keeping on. Not very well at times, I imagine. Many turn to self-destructive behaviors just to manage what might seem like unbearable pain and heartache. I remember several years ago, while sitting in a continuing ed. class for Social Workers on the concept of self injury seen through the lens of trauma,  the instructor Linda Curran told us that everything is a coping skill.

Part of my work as a therapist has been to help change the bandages and offer healing balms to clients as we together, help them see that their ‘broken places’ really mean that they are ‘broken open’ to more love and life. It takes a great deal of courage for them to face the wounds without feeling like they ARE the wounds. As I listen to their stories, I remind them that they are not their stories. I can only imagine the nightmares they have faced and the courage it takes just to get out of bed in the morning.

When I sit with some of my clients, they express how hard it is to resist the lure of the drug or behavior that for a brief time silences the tormenting voices that tell them they are inadequate or flawed, irretrievably damaged. Our shared task is to have them see beyond their perceived weaknesses to their strengths. It seems to be about reframing their history, using it as fertilizer to feed their life-garden.

Sometimes the wounds are messy and festering and no one wants to touch them. Other times, they are scabbed over and the person picks at them until they bleed. It takes courage on the part of both parties to sit in the mess until it finds a place of healing. As a therapist, it’s important for me to view them as resilient thrivers and not hopeless victims of choices that other people made that have had negative consequences in their lives.  I also need not take responsibility for either their recovery or relapse.

It is when they loosen the hold that their past has on them that they can move forward with greater ease and grace.



Previous Posts

The Now What Club
This morning, I joined two dear friends for brunch at Mal's Diner in Skippack, PA.  After a heart-healthy workout in cardiac rehab, I had a heart- happy  meal of egg whites, spinach (no cheese), fresh fruit instead of home fries and dry (no butter) whole grain toast. Yvonne Kaye has been my mentor

posted 10:10:09pm Sep. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Enjoy Every Moment
Feeling emotionally raw at the moment, having just returned from a day of honoring my friend Delane Lipka. I had written about another extraordinary day in a previous Beliefnet article called In the Garden of Eden that described a gathering of kindred spirits that had been organized by Delane. For d

posted 10:03:50pm Sep. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Cardia-versary
This morning marks 3 months since I experienced the kind of pain that cracks you open and has you revealing the emotional viscera that had long lay dormant. Literally at this moment, I was captured by the symptoms of a heart attack- searing heart burn pain, jaw tightness and wringing wet sweats. I s

posted 10:56:19am Sep. 12, 2014 | read full post »

Cosmic Coincidence
My definition of cosmic coincidence are those events that have me shaking my head in bewildered awe, asking "What are the chances that such a thing could happen?"  My answer is always the same. "100%, since it occurred." It is that encounter with just the right person, hearing a song on the radio r

posted 10:05:23pm Sep. 10, 2014 | read full post »

Transformation Takes Determination
As I was on my daily walk today, decked out in my navy blue t-shirt with the word TRANSFORM scripted on the front of it, it occurred to me that if I want to transform any aspect of my life, there are several essential ingredients. 1-Quoting Joe Jackson "You can't get what you want, til you know

posted 9:19:57pm Sep. 08, 2014 | read full post »




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