Advertisement

The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Vending Machine

 

I was in some kinda mood today based on a series of events. Generally my disposition is sunny and my thought process focused on what I do want, rather than on what I don’t want. I have been stewing lately about the age old litany of ‘not enough.’ As much as I have been putting my heart and soul into what I do for so many years, I still feel as if I am not where I want to be on my self designed success scale. I was speaking with a friend tonight about this dilemma that has me feeling as if I am on a hamster wheel going nowhere. It isn’t even like one of those little plastic exercise balls that they can roll around in that at least can move them about on the floor. I likened my experience to a vending machine in which I place my shiny coins, press the button for oh, let’s say a Peppermint Patty. At that moment, what should slide down the chute but an Almond Joy Bar?  Don’t get me wrong, I do like coconut and almonds and chocolate in combination, but it wasn’t what I ordered. Can’t the universal vending machine get it right?

Advertisement

In my mindset, I ‘do the right thing’, work hard, plant seeds, follow through, am conscientious, adept at what I do most of the time, keep deadlines, have all sorts of creative ideas, am reliable, ask for what I want, am easy to work with, low maintenance, entertaining on stage, insightful with clients, provide valuable service, blah blah blah…and yet….

Wondering about the origin of this pattern. Growing up, I had plenty of love, attention, affection, food, clothing, shelter, opportunities, toys, books, family trips.  Nothing lacking. I ask myself if it is ego wailing that it isn’t getting enough attention? Nope, don’t think so. It is more what the recognition symbolizes; that the world values my work as much as I do and compensates the education and service commensurate with its value.

Advertisement

On the road today, I saw a church marquee that spoke to my heart and calmed my screeching fear-thoughts. “Trust an unknown future to a known God.” My Higher Power has never let me down, always has my back and sometimes likes to change things up a bit, even substituting an Almond Joy for a Peppermint Patty. Even so, I can ‘get the sensation’…..ahhhhh~

Previous Posts

A Lunar Legacy
I discovered this morning that a man whose life touched countless others, not merely by virtue of being shot up into outer space in Apollo 14 and land on the moon, but even more importantly, became an explorer of inner space, had died on ...

posted 6:14:48pm Feb. 06, 2016 | read full post »

96% Trusting
Lately, my life has resembled a roller coaster ride that has had me gripping the safety bar with eyes closed as I had a few years ago when I was on the legendary California Scream in Anaheim, during twists and spins that turned me upside down in ...

posted 1:40:26pm Feb. 04, 2016 | read full post »

The Trigger Is The Treasure
"The moment we have an expectation or require anything to make us feel whole and free we have committed it and ourselves to a form of bondage; and in our desire for freedom and liberation we have become its slave."-Erica Taxin Bleznak This ...

posted 10:21:06am Feb. 01, 2016 | read full post »

Masterpiece and Work in Progress
When you think of the word 'masterpiece,' what comes to mind?  Likely a stroll through a museum or art gallery filled with richly hued paintings created by legendary artists such as Renoir and Matisse and marble sculpture carved by ...

posted 9:27:26am Jan. 26, 2016 | read full post »

Being Essential
Snuggled down under covers while white stuff wafts down and sleet taps on my roof. Wind gusts awakened me at 3:33 this morning and blessedly, I was able to go back to sleep and immerse in dreams. I rolled over again at 8:15, grateful that my ...

posted 10:54:41am Jan. 23, 2016 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.