Do you ever have moments when you feel as if you have done your part, planted seeds, earned your chops, prepared yourself for something for many years and are waiting (not particularly patiently) for your dream/vision to materialize? You look at the markers along the way and are grateful for them, without dismissing them as not good enough, and yet, there is a wistfulness….a sense of “what if and if only?” and (pouting here a bit) “How come other people got there first and you’re still waiting your turn and what’s it gonna take?”
I am asking this question of my readers, since I ask myself this question….oh, every day. Yours may look a bit different from mine and those of the person standing next to you in a check out line. Each of us comes to this planet with a purpose. We may not be aware of it at the time, but little by little, it reveals itself. Maybe it shows up as a passion for fashion and you decide to become a designer or model, or tickles your ear and you go into a music career. In my case, it came along in a package marked ‘communicator’. My mother used to say that I started talking at 6 months and hadn’t stopped since, so it was a given that I would be in some field that allowed me to speak my piece/peace. I have been able to mold it into a multi-faceted career hybrid that includes therapy, coaching, ministry, writing and speaking. The upside is that it energizes me and provides good service to the world. The downside is that it isn’t valued in the world in terms of financial remuneration commensurate with what I put into it. For many years, I maintained what I refer to as ‘social worker’s mentality’. When I enrolled in grad school to earn my MSW (Masters of Social Work), I said cavalierly “Oh, I’m not in it for the money.” That was back in 1983 when my ideals were larger than my ambition. 28 years later, I ask myself “Why the heck not?” There is nothing noble about settling for less than what your services are worth. My creditors don’t care that I am in a service profession and they charge me the same thing as they would someone who makes 10 times what I do, for what I purchase from them. In certain spiritual circles there is an erroneous (in my opinion) belief that there is something paradoxical about being well compensated for healing work regardless of the form it takes, as if we should give it away or charge ‘too much’. I counter with the thought that when you go to a restaurant, gas station or supermarket, you don’t negotiate what you want to pay. The price is the price. If you choose not to pay it, then you are electing to forgo the product or service. Many’s the time I have sold myself short because I didn’t want to lose potential business. That is my learning curve as I bravely stepping out from behind the curtain of limiting fears and boldly stating what I desire. I can’t honestly say that I am fearless in asking, but even if my voice shakes a bit, I still state what I want, certain that I deserve it.
How big is your brave when asking for what you want?