The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Brave

parasailing-antkriz-adventure-1195893-m

What does bravery mean to you? Does it indicate a willingness to dive off a  stable cliff into the ocean at precisely the right moment so as not to crack open your skull or jump from a perfectly good airplane, praying that your parachute opens and you waft gently down to earth? Those kind of activities have never appealed to me, although I do know people who would be pumped to engage in them or something equally physically high octane, like being shot out of a cannon.

Mine take the form of what I refer to as ‘emotional bungee jumping’, during which I take all sorts of risks that involve putting my heart on the line. For most of my life, I have kept my heart partly sheltered, bundled beneath a fleece blanket. I made it appear that it was wide open, when in fact, it was ducking under cover so as not to appear too eager, too outreaching, too (dare I say it?) needy. Ewwww ick. I would NEVER want to appear that way. I have allowed it to go meandering about, offering a safe harbor, a shelter for others who have lodged in it for awhile, until they have felt able to step away and move on in their lives. Some have been clients, others friends. It seems natural in a professional context, but more challenging and at times painful when it is personal. Over the years, there have been those who have, for their own reasons, chosen to step back from relating.  I have, of necessity done what in 12 step parlance is called ‘a searching and fearless moral inventory’ when I explore my role in our interactions. If in all honesty and integrity, I can declare that I have done all I can to be loving and supportive, then the choice is theirs, for their own reasons and I have no need to feel guilty. I have learned that although I am responsible at all times for my interactions with others, I am never in charge of their feelings or interpretations of said interactions.

I am also keenly aware of the temptation to take personally, someone else’s request that I change something I am doing.  Most of us like to believe we are cruising through life, doing what comes naturally to us, not intending to step on the toes of others. When people have pointed out that they would like me to do something differently than my inclination, I take pause and consider the choice to maintain the same actions, determining the likelihood of healthy relations with them. These days, I more often respond out of self examination and mindfulness than knee jerk (how dare they!) reaction. Also becoming more assertive and setting boundaries; a skill that has become more habitual in the past few years, even though I knew it was necessary eons before. As a result, my relationships are far more harmonious, in integrity and alignment with my values. I have been (even if it is challenging), bravely stepping back from relationships that no longer support themselves. A friend challenged me to consider that if I am the only person rowing the boat and I cease doing that and the boat stands still,  then I may need to be on another boat.

I wanna see you (and me) be brave!

http://youtu.be/dyAfjUHlFSM Brave by Sara Bareilles



Previous Posts

Dog Poop
Today at a staff meeting for my talented team of co-workers at my new job for Elements Behavioral Health, our CEO- Dr. David  Sack did a dazzling presentation, complete with Power Point. The topic?  Dog poop. He shared the story of the family four-legged, named Charlie who is a basset hound. He wa

posted 12:48:27am Aug. 20, 2014 | read full post »

Hurt People Hurt People?
Lately, I have been pondering this conundrum: Why do people make violence acceptable? I see so many photos and videos of people hurting animals and people, images of abuse that whoever shot the films somehow think is cool. I understand why folks post them so that someone can identify the perpet

posted 6:25:25am Aug. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Make Your Life Spectacular
    A few days have passed since the world heard the devastating news that someone who entered their lives and lodged in their hearts (even if they never met face to face), had succumbed to the depression that had followed him for much of his life. When Robin Williams died, so too di

posted 12:56:03pm Aug. 15, 2014 | read full post »

When Lives Touch
    I have been pensive lately for many reasons. The first is that I am still in relatively new life renewal mode. Two months ago, I was lying in a hospital bed with all manner of accutrement attached to my arms; beeping and chirping away. A pin hole was poked into my right wris

posted 11:12:58pm Aug. 13, 2014 | read full post »

Good Morning, Robin
      It's now 5:20 a.m. and I've been awake for nearly an hour. Like most who heard or read the news yesterday that one of the most prolific actors and comedians 'left the building' by his own hand, I have experienced a myriad of emotions. My initial reaction- as my fath

posted 6:28:16am Aug. 12, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.