Advertisement

The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Tumble Dry Low

 

Inspiration arrives at any given moment, while engaged in the most mundane tasks. This morning while I was transferring laundry from the washer to the dryer, the words “Detach with love” echoed in my ears. Knowing exactly what that was about, I was puzzled about what it might have to do with wet towels and clothes that would soon be tumbled about and emerge warm and toasty in about 3o minutes. Even as I am typing these words, I can hear a sweatshirt zipper clicking against the inside of the appliance.

Advertisement

Lately, I have been letting go of expectation of outcome with people in my life. I have recognized that when I feel angry, sad, frustrated or disappointed when someone doesn’t do or say what I would prefer them to, it is because I have been invested in having them behave in a way that suits me or meets my needs. We all have images of each other, how we desire to interact based on previous times, words and experiences shared. The reality is, we are constantly changing and re-negotiating the terms of our relationships. It can be a bit disconcerting at times, since we do need some sense of consistency with the people around us and yet, there is a call to go with the flow or get washed ashore, sprawled face down in the sand. I can still completely love the people in my life, without being attached to their choices. I can choose to step back from interactions if I feel I am doing more symbolic laundry than they are.

Advertisement

I remember times in my life; 15-20 years ago when I would be so laissez faire that I would accept even the ‘unacceptable’ since I felt powerless to change much, at the mercy of others’ whims and expectations for how I ‘should’ behave to please them.  I let things slide rather than take charge of what I could control. Now, as a therapist who works with those in recovery from addiction, the Serenity Prayer has become even more powerful medicine.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.

The courage to change the things I can.

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

Reinhold Niehbuhr

As a recovering co-dependent, I am learning that what I can control, I must. I need to take responsibility for my choices and actions and no one else’s. I have discovered that most people don’t do the best they can. They do the best they are willing to do in any situation. I am abundantly aware that when I set intention for something to be so, I must take the steps to follow through. If I want clean, dry clothes, I have to put them in the machine, add detergent and then step back as the washer does its thing. Once the cycle completes, if I don’t want moldy, yucky garments, I need to transfer the laundry into the dryer and let it run until they are done. If I want neatly folded and hung wash, I have to take the steps necessary to see that through to completion. Have there been times when I haven’t immediately done those tasks?  Yup and then I needed to deal with the consequences of having to rewash or have piles of laundry to contend with. And yet, I am not obsessed with the outcome. Detachment and not caring are two different things. I am not standing over the washer and dryer, fretting and moaning that it is taking too long. When people take longer to do what I wish for, either out loud or in my head, I want to have the same degree of patience and let go. When I detach with love, all my relationships are cleaner and fresher~

Previous Posts

It's A Beautiful Morning
The peeking in sun woke me up before my intended arising time. Clearly, the day had other ideas for how I should be spending its first few hours. I so wanted to tumble back into slumber, but it wasn't gonna happen. Rolled over, turned on the ...

posted 8:32:31am Apr. 18, 2015 | read full post »

Professional Reader
It's clear that I am a professional writer. It is my right livelihood work that brings me such joy that it is sometimes overwhelming. I'm grateful that The Muse sees fit to shower me with ideas at all hours of the day and night. As I mentioned ...

posted 8:35:05am Apr. 15, 2015 | read full post »

Writing in My Sleep
  With every good intention, I climb into bed, nestle beneath the covers and close my eyes. I am aware of the silence in the room that is palpable. I rarely set the alarm clock, unless I absolutely have to be up at a certain time, since ...

posted 10:32:26am Apr. 13, 2015 | read full post »

Love Bubbles
A few days ago, I trekked from my bucolic Bucks County, PA home to the hustle-bustle hectic hangout of NYC. I was eagerly anticipating meeting two Facebook friends Sherri Rosen and Kurt Koontz.  I had developed distance relationships with both ...

posted 6:48:42pm Apr. 09, 2015 | read full post »

Woven Threads
  Today, I was looking at the pattern on one of my favorite scarves. It is green and gold, red and pink, blue and white; a near rainbow array of hues. I love to wear it, since it has a festive feel to it, like being wrapped in ...

posted 11:15:45pm Apr. 06, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.