The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Metamorphosis

caterpillarintobutterfly

Like most people, I am fascinated with the lovely creatures whose translucent wings lightly flutter as they are carried on a breeze. I watch, mesmerized as they drift to and fro, seemingly without direction. There are times when I feel the same way, and yet, like all beings on the planet, there is a purpose and intention for its existence. Butterflies symbolize transformation from one form to another, growing and changing. Just how thorough this change is, fascinates me. We have seen the caterpillar; all squiggly and perhaps fuzzy as it crawls on leaves or on our hand if we reach out for it to climb aboard. Perhaps we have witnessed a chrysalis hanging from a tree. I did two weeks ago. We have noticed the winged version that has emerged from the temporary nesting structure. What we don’t see is the gestation that takes place. I have seen it described as the caterpillar digesting itself, leaving in its wake, a mushy soup.

Butterflies have a special meaning for me, since when my mother was on hospice, I asked what she thought would happen when she passed, and she told me that she would come back as a butterfly. They have been a constant reminder that love is ever-present.

It has been easy for me to see myself as the finished product, with colorful wings keeping me aloft. I actually have wings in my car, since I am a clown who wears them as part of my costume.  What has been more challenging is accepting that for right now, I am in that stage where I am immersed in emotion soup. Back in April, I attended a weekend retreat called The Woman Within that opened the gates for feelings to flow through. Just scratching the surface. In the past month or so, more melting of the walls I had erected around my heart, has been occurring and with it, a torrent of tears. As a therapist who guides others through their losses and the pain that sometimes comes with being human, I distanced myself from my own emotions so that I could serve them.

Lately, I have been recognizing all of the losses that turned me to mush on the inside that I have tried desperately to cover over with vividly hued costumes, blissful statements, glorious descriptions of my amazing, magical life so that people wouldn’t be able to see the tears and fears behind the façade. Both exist within me; I would just prefer to acknowledge the first. The calling is for me to see the beauty in both the joys and challenges, the caterpillar soup, as well as the magnificent creature that emerges.

www.womanwithin.org



Previous Posts

Cardia-versary
This morning marks 3 months since I experienced the kind of pain that cracks you open and has you revealing the emotional viscera that had long lay dormant. Literally at this moment, I was captured by the symptoms of a heart attack- searing heart burn pain, jaw tightness and wringing wet sweats. I s

posted 10:56:19am Sep. 12, 2014 | read full post »

Cosmic Coincidence
My definition of cosmic coincidence are those events that have me shaking my head in bewildered awe, asking "What are the chances that such a thing could happen?"  My answer is always the same. "100%, since it occurred." It is that encounter with just the right person, hearing a song on the radio r

posted 10:05:23pm Sep. 10, 2014 | read full post »

Transformation Takes Determination
As I was on my daily walk today, decked out in my navy blue t-shirt with the word TRANSFORM scripted on the front of it, it occurred to me that if I want to transform any aspect of my life, there are several essential ingredients. 1-Quoting Joe Jackson "You can't get what you want, til you know

posted 9:19:57pm Sep. 08, 2014 | read full post »

Spiritual Teachings of The Incas-An Interview with Willaru
Willaru Huayta is a well respected spiritual guide who makes his way through the world, honoring the deep and abiding connection with Spirit, the Earth, and its inhabitants. According to his website  "He was born into the Quetchua tribe in a village high in the Andes mountains. Though raised

posted 9:29:50am Sep. 07, 2014 | read full post »

S for Surrender
Yesterday was brought to me by the letter 'S' for surrender. At cardiac rehab in the morning, I blasted out a whole bunch of energy on the elliptical and treadmill, so that by the time I got to the recumbent bicycle, I was majorly winded and needed to slow down my pace and couldn't finish the 17 mi

posted 9:25:45am Sep. 06, 2014 | read full post »




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