The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


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What if you saw this classified ad in your local paper this morning, as you drank your coffee, tea, chai, juice or in my case- fruit and veggie smoothie? Would your heart leap with delight because you were just waiting for this opportunity to step out on the stage of life or would it sink, because you aren’t sure who ‘yourself’ is?  I always knew who I was at my core, but oftentimes donned costumes so as to play various roles that were expected of me. Good girl, daughter who wanted to make my parents proud of me, friend who could be counted on, excelling at school student, highly competitive swimmer, vivid imaginista, loyal partner, co-dependent caregiver who exhibited ‘savior behavior’-who wanted to heal, save, fix and kiss the boo boos to make them all better, the go-to gal for answers to dilemmas, spiritual gypsy, the one to call at whatever o’clock to pick my brain (or whatever was accessible), fun playmate, silliness incarnate. But what if, just below the surface is someone who wants to break free of those roles and refuses to be typecast?  What if there is a wild woman who is way more sensual, outspoken, daring to be different and not attempting to blend in for fear of rejection?

I have role models in my life for those characters that I could play should I choose to be braver than I am at times. They brazenly and vulnerably share all aspects of themselves, feeling that to hide is to diminish the Divine creations that they are.  Yesterday, I was in conversation with someone I had just met and he made an assumption about me based on my appearance. I was wearing a dress, make up, sparkly flip flops, dangly earrings and very short cropped hair. Somehow the topic turned to sexuality and he commented that it was possible that I preferred women as partners because of my hair length. I smiled coyly and asked “How do you know whether I do or not, on that one criteria?”  I chided him for his stereotyping perspective. Whatever my preference, it is amusing to consider that someone would make that statement when people, whether Gay, Straight, Bi (or as I refer to it ‘fluid’) look various ways. The most masculine appearing woman might be straight as an arrow and the most ‘girly girl’ might be female-partner focused. The most effeminate seeming man, may prefer female partners and the most buff, Marlboro-man looking dude may be married to another man. My big question is why the heck should we care?

As I explore the various and sundry aspects of myself, I give full permission to simply BE, without limiting myself or being type-cast. I will always get the part of being ME.



Previous Posts

Making The Ordinary Come Alive
  I became an adoptive parent in 1992, when diminutive blond haired, green eyed Adam became my son. I like to say that my stretch marks are on my heart, not my hips. A high energy kiddo with his own ideas of how life should be, there were times when I questioned my ability to keep up with hi

posted 7:25:34am Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Changing the Dishes
  Fellow Good Men Project author Thomas Fiffer shared his insights about the holiday of Passover. I saw his blog entry this morning as I was contemplating what to write for today's Bliss Blog. Having been raised in a Jewish home, Passover was eagerly anticipated all year long. The pre-holi

posted 9:22:24am Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Self Imposed Slavery
Tonight marks the first night of Passover which commemorates the journey from slavery to freedom of the Jews in Egypt who were compelled to work at the peril of their own lives.  Jews around the world (and others who are invited guests as they were in my childhood home) will gather to celebrate a

posted 10:40:54am Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

That's What Makes You Strong
  Another soul passed into the Light yesterday to join the celestial choir. I first heard Jesse Winchester's music in the 80's. As a consummate singer songwriter, he had  a gift for vivid imagery that took the listener along for the ride. Songs such as Mississippi, You're On My Mind,

posted 10:43:14am Apr. 12, 2014 | read full post »

Hot Air Balloon
Recently I was speaking with someone about the things that weigh us down, like a hot air balloon tethered to the ground with heavy rope, spiked into the dirt, sandbags reinforcing them.  Self deprecation, limiting beliefs, old worn out ideas that no longer serve, all of the shoulda /woulda/ coulda

posted 9:06:23am Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »




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