The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Filling Instead of Feeling

 

As I was interviewing fertility advocate, and sex educator, Pamela Madsen on my Blog Talk Radio show called It’s All About Relationships, we were speaking about insatiablilty, eating disorders, body image and sexuality. She was mentioning the ways in which we fill ourselves up when there is an emptiness within us. She feels we are “so hungry and we keep reaching for more and more. People are doing this insatiable behavior. We don’t slow down to feel and allow our bodies to digest our experiences. We distract ourselves from what might be uncomfortable.”

She spoke of her eating disorder which took the form of bulimia, and the words “filling instead of feeling” came to me. One of my hats is as an addictions counselor and over the years, I have worked with people who have that insatiable ‘hole in the soul.’ How often do we fill ourselves with food, drugs, shopping, gambling, hoarding, unhealthy sexual activities and high risk behavior when what we really want is pleasure?  When one addiction is handled, another might jump right into that space.

What were you taught about pleasure?  Was it that it is self indulgent, bad, wrong….or was it encouraged? I was allowed to  play in the mud, finger paint, run clay and dough through my fingers, splash in puddles, get messy. My wise parents knew that laundry detergent and bubble baths were at the ready. Tears and laughter were welcome in our home, although my father was sensitive to our pain, so he had a hard time watching us cry. Anger wasn’t overtly expressed, so I am learning to feel that now.  Boo boos were kissed away and for better or worse, I learned to do the same for others when perhaps they would be better served by feeling. We can’t heal what we don’t feel.  What were you taught about handling discomfort? Some quickly rush to self medicate, rather than sit with it. Mine takes the form of activity; doing instead of being. More often, I am able to just be with my own pain, emoting, rather than stuffing out of fear that I won’t be able to handle it. Of course I always do, And of course you do too.

Not that there’s anything wrong with an occasional cupcake.

www.vividlife.me



Previous Posts

No Explanation Needed
"No' is one of the shortest words in the English language and one of the most difficult to say for some people, unless the person happens to be two years old and then it might well one of their most favorite to utter. It implies disagreement, disapproval, a sense of refusal and lack of cooperation.

posted 7:38:52am Mar. 04, 2015 | read full post »

Full Circle Experience
  With Christine Lavin and Julie Gold Had a full circle experience on Sunday, when I walked through the doors of the Unitarian Church at 21st and Chestnut in Philly to celebrate the 80th birthday and illustrious career of music legend Gene Shay. He had been the host of folk shows on

posted 9:50:13pm Mar. 02, 2015 | read full post »

Living With Grace, Flow and Ease-Book Review
  What if you could invite three angels into your home who would accompany you through your days, assisting you in having, as I like to refer to it, a 'rich, full, juicy life'? Would you issue a call and then keep the door open to welcome them in? Reading the book Living with Grace, F

posted 7:45:33am Feb. 28, 2015 | read full post »

The Sound of the Dove-Music Review
  "If you could combine the compelling voices of fellow Canadians Sarah McLachlan and Loreena McKennitt, with the soaring throat notes of kirtan singer; best known as Madonna's back up singer, Donna DeLory, you would have a sense of the magnificent tonings and tunes of Pamela Jane Gerr

posted 3:59:41pm Feb. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Bucket List
I awoke in the wee hours this morning, from a dream about my parents. Both passed in the last few years; my dad in 2008 and my mom in 2010. They were the dearest people in my life; teachers, guides, providers, cheerleaders and guardians of my heart and soul. Although I know that they are safe and so

posted 9:43:22pm Feb. 24, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.